I wanted to get other people's perspective on the idea of living at home (especially when you're older).
I chose to live at home while at University and I recently put down a deposit on a house (currently being rented out). I plan to move out in 6/12 months. Health isn't the best at the moment.
Rather than looking at it from a logistical view (e.g. having your own freedom), do you think still living at home takes away something? Masculinity?
And while on this subject, I remember reading a dating article where the conclusion was that women should run a mile when a guy still lives at home. What are your thoughts on this?
Personally I dont think it is natural, or healthy. I think an individual needs to spread their wings and make their own life, carve out their own patch in the social fabric. Start their own family. Maybe that outlook is a lot to do with our culture in this country and how I have been bought up? I dare say in other cultures/countries living at home would not be frowned upon like it is here.
As for how women view you, I think it is perceived that you are lacking somehow. If you still live with your parents it suggests immaturity and the avoidance of responsibility and perhaps lack of confidence - which women find off putting. Coversely if you are a woman it suggests you may be difficult, a spinster or damaged goods (not nice but I think it is true).
However the truth of what people think does not make what they think true.
My other half lived at home until she was 32/33 - but had lived away from home for several years down south. That didnt work out so she came back and spent 3 years living at home again. It sent her mad, but financially she could not afford her own place. Many men would have run a mile (I'm 6 years younger and had my own house) but I saw past it. I think most open minded decent people will.
But I think there is a stigma attached to it - whether that is justified or not is a different discussion. But yes I would agree that traditionally women tend to view older guys living at home as a bit 'icky'. That said, it has become far more common to leave home later in life because of uni, house prices etc etc.
I think it also depends on why someone is still at home. For instance, in the case of my better half it was because her life was turned upside down and she needed refuge. In the case of my cousin, he has always lived at home because his outlook is that he could never enjoy the same kind of life he does at home if he moved out - which is quite selfish but then if his parents are prepared to put up with it, then who are we to judge?
Also, if you have grown into a caring role for a parent(s) and they rely on you I would say it is a moral dilemma with no easy answer.
I dont think it makes you a bad person, but I do think it makes you a lesser person because it is life experience you havent yet got and you learn a lot from moving out and living your own life (uni does not count - because you are still technically living at home with your parents).
As my father once said, "son, when the bills are dropping on your own door mat, I will listen to your advice on life."
I have taken that comment out of context, but I think it is true - until you have moved out and been self sufficient you are not fully an 'adult' because you have not yet flown the nest. Again maybe that opinion is because of how I was bought up?
My relationship with my parents has improved no end since I moved out 8 years ago - and not only that I felt a real sense of achievement at standing on my own two feet. As an individual I have grown and developed in a way that only taking on responsibility can bring which is something I feel you wont ever achieve living at home.
Buff
