Mates ex girlfriend

Kamwah · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:12

Omaeka said:
Would rather not have to sort a mate out tbh if he did anything bad, although I wouldn't expect you to understand though, doubt you'd give a flying if somebody messed your sister around.

Sounds like you just don't trust your mates and/or you're too naive to realize that in relationships **** happens and 90% of the time it's not clear cut whose to blame.

I don't see how you'd rather have a randomer bending your sister over tbh.

----

TBH why is everyone assuming that soldierboy is going to be parading his new GF around his mate? It's pretty simple to have time for both the GF and the mate (If you're really close to him). I think this whole situation stems down to "is your mate mature enough to man up and deal with it?"

[FnG]magnolia · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:14

Well, this thread got interesting quickly.

Omaeka has some strong opinions.

Omaeka · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:16

Ahleckz said:
Why can't she take care of her self? Why can't she decide who she goes out? Why can't she make mistakes and learn from them?

It's very odd how protective you are, to her detriment. Stop trying to control her life and live yours.

She can, she's been out with a few blokes who I got on with when I saw them with no issues, but if a friend went near her then they aren't friends. Some things are off limits for a plethora of reasons, you'd be happy if a mate screwed your sister around then? Damn.

Also yes, I'm trying to control hers and do not at all live my own life. :confused:

I've never even spoken to her about who she's with or taken any notice unless it goes south then I'll be there of course, and why? Because my mates aren't peckerheads who'd go even think of going there, it's an unspoken rule between men, period. Everyone I know would kill any 'mate' who decided to pine for their sister.

Stop looking into other peoples lives so much that you come up with outlandish, uninformed conclusions and 'live yours'. :rolleyes:

Castiel · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:16

[FnG]magnolia;23044319 said:
Well, this thread got interesting quickly.

Omaeka has some strange opinions.

Fixed....

Deleted User 234324 · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:16

If your mate cared for her at all he'd want to see her happy, if she is happy with you then I see nothing wrong with the situation.

My ex is moving in a friend of mine soon, she's happy so I'm fine with it. We are all still good friends and go out from time to time, what makes it even better is because we know each other so well we can laugh about anything.

[FnG]magnolia · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:20

Omaeka said:
She can, she's been out with a few blokes who I got on with when I saw them with no issues, but if a friend went near her then they aren't friends. Some things are off limits for a plethora of reasons, you'd be happy if a mate screwed your sister around then? Damn.

Also yes, I'm trying to control hers and do not at all live my own life.

I've never even spoken to her about who she's with or taken any notice unless it goes south then I'll be there of course, and why? Because my mates aren't peckerheads who'd go even think of going there, it's an unspoken rule between men, period. Everyone I know would kill any 'mate' who decided to pine for their sister.

Stop looking into other peoples lives so much that you come up with outlandish, uninformed conclusions and 'live yours'.

Genuine question : why do you not want your sister to be happy and have sexual interactions with a man or men that she enjoys?

Ahleckz · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:20

Omaeka said:
She can, she's been out with a few blokes who I got on with when I saw them with no issues, but if a friend went near her then they aren't friends. Some things are off limits for a plethora of reasons, you'd be happy if a mate screwed your sister around then? Damn.

Also yes, I'm trying to control hers and do not at all live my own life.

I've never even spoken to her about who she's with or taken any notice unless it goes south then I'll be there of course, and why? Because my mates aren't peckerheads who'd go even think of going there, it's an unspoken rule between men, period. Everyone I know would kill any 'mate' who decided to pine for their sister.

Stop looking into other peoples lives so much that you come up with outlandish, uninformed conclusions and 'live yours'.

You haven't explained why a friend can't go out with your sister. There is no unwritten rule, it's just a view that you have that you so far have been completely unable to articulate let along justify.
I'd be more than happy for a friend to get with my sister. It's her life, it's her body, it's her choice. What I want for my family and loved ones is for them to be happy. If that involves them having sex with a friend of mine then that's fine because I know they'll be happy.
Relationships sour for all sorts of reasons, going out and murdering someone and getting locked up is hardly going to help your sister is it? No. It's a childish, immature reaction.

I'm glad you agree that you are controlling her, now you've noticed the issue you can begin addressing it so she can have a happier life and be able to make her own decisions about her own body.

My opinions are not uninformed. This is a discussion, you are posting what you think and I'm looking at that and responding to it. If I'm to be called uninformed, then it's because what you're writing is total nonsense. So what is it? Are you writing appropriately and I'm able to infer from that, or are you writing utter garbage and thus I'm uninformed?

Castiel · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:22

Omaeka said:
She can, she's been out with a few blokes who I got on with when I saw them with no issues, but if a friend went near her then they aren't friends. Some things are off limits for a plethora of reasons, you'd be happy if a mate screwed your sister around then? Damn.

Also yes, I'm trying to control hers and do not at all live my own life.

I've never even spoken to her about who she's with or taken any notice unless it goes south then I'll be there of course, and why? Because my mates aren't peckerheads who'd go even think of going there, it's an unspoken rule between men, period. Everyone I know would kill any 'mate' who decided to pine for their sister.

Stop looking into other peoples lives so much that you come up with outlandish, uninformed conclusions and 'live yours'.

Unspoken rule among Men....lol, what are you 20?...

Your sister has every right to date and sleep with whoever she chooses to, including your mate(s).....it's none of your business and as long as she is happy then you should be also.

You appear to have little or no faith in either your sister or your friends ability to decide for themselves who they wish to date, not to mention having a rather low opinion of your friends if you assume they will all automatically treat your sister badly.......

Ahleckz · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:22

Castiel said:
Unspoken rule among Men....lol, what are you 20?...

Gunni Parker · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:24

Your a bad man for even considering it. Mates whether they be an acquaintance or a close friend, EX's are a no go. Their are two types of lads in this world. The one's who obey the code, and those scumbags who don't.

Omaeka · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:26

I wouldn't trust my mates to not hurt my sister, because they would eventually because that's pretty much what they are like. I know relationships are fickle but I'd rather there not be any drama like a dead relationship in my life between a friend and a relative and getting me involved. I'd also feel to responsible that it would be the fact I know the guy if things went bad. I'll be your mate if you met me because you were dating my sister, but if you're dating my sister cause you met me then no thanks.

[FnG]magnolia · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:27

Ahleckz said:
You haven't explained why a friend can't go out with your sister. There is no unwritten rule, it's just a view that you have that you so far have been completely unable to articulate let along justify.
I'd be more than happy for a friend to get with my sister. It's her life, it's her body, it's her choice. What I want for my family and loved ones is for them to be happy. If that involves them having sex with a friend of mine then that's fine because I know they'll be happy.
Relationships sour for all sorts of reasons, going out and murdering someone and getting locked up is hardly going to help your sister is it? No. It's a childish, immature reaction.

I'm glad you agree that you are controlling her, now you've noticed the issue you can begin addressing it so she can have a happier life and be able to make her own decisions about her own body.

My opinions are not uninformed. This is a discussion, you are posting what you think and I'm looking at that and responding to it. If I'm to be called uninformed, then it's because what you're writing is total nonsense. So what is it? Are you writing appropriately and I'm able to infer from that, or are you writing utter garbage and thus I'm uninformed?

I was going to post a thing but then you did, and you did it better

Kamwah · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:30

Omaeka said:
I wouldn't trust my mates to not hurt my sister, because they would eventually because that's pretty much what they are like. I know relationships are fickle but I'd rather there not be any drama like a dead relationship in my life between a friend and a relative and getting me involved. I'd also feel to responsible that it would be the fact I know the guy if things went bad. I'll be your mate if you met me because you were dating my sister, but if you're dating my sister cause you met me then no thanks.

Well there we go!

You just have **** mates and just admitted it.

Omaeka · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:32

Kamwah said:
Well there we go!

You just have **** mates and just admitted it.

They aren't **** mates, but they aren't exactly boyfriend material at our age no, if I knew a lad who was a top bloke who didn't screw every female in his life over, then I'd probably think differently, but that isn't the case so here we are. :confused:

sketchytom · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:33

Omaeka said:
Would rather not have to sort a mate out tbh if he did anything bad, although I wouldn't expect you to understand though, doubt you'd give a flying if somebody messed your sister around.

i would mess your sister around

treat her like real dirt

and you would either accept it or loose a nose

then i would pound your mum

Castiel · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:33

Omaeka said:
I wouldn't trust my mates to not hurt my sister, because they would eventually because that's pretty much what they are like. I know relationships are fickle but I'd rather there not be any drama like a dead relationship in my life between a friend and a relative and getting me involved. I'd also feel to responsible that it would be the fact I know the guy if things went bad. I'll be your mate if you met me because you were dating my sister, but if you're dating my sister cause you met me then no thanks.

The more important question is just how hot is your sister?......and if she is hot, is she seeing anyone?..

SmellyFingers · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:34

Omaeka there are too many old codgers on here, they don't understand the men of today. The jeremy kyle gen as somebody else put it.

Ahleckz · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:37

Omaeka said:
I wouldn't trust my mates to not hurt my sister, because they would eventually because that's pretty much what they are like. I know relationships are fickle but I'd rather there not be any drama like a dead relationship in my life between a friend and a relative and getting me involved. I'd also feel to responsible that it would be the fact I know the guy if things went bad. I'll be your mate if you met me because you were dating my sister, but if you're dating my sister cause you met me then no thanks.

How, trust issues much? Relationships aren't fickle. Come on, sit down. Tell us who hurt you. You're in a safe place.

Your whole response reeks of selfishness. "I'd prefer" "I'd feel responsible" "getting me involved". Come on, you're not the 3rd person in the relationship. Take a step back from it and let her live and enjoy her life.

Omaeka said:
They aren't **** mates, but they aren't exactly boyfriend material at our age no, if I knew a lad who was a top bloke who didn't screw every female in his life over, then I'd probably think differently, but that isn't the case so here we are.

Your friends don't sound great if they've screwed every female in their life over. Why are you friends with them?

Omaeka · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:42

Ahleckz said:
Your whole response reeks of selfishness. "I'd prefer" "I'd feel responsible" "getting me involved". Come on, you're not the 3rd person in the relationship. Take a step back from it and let her live and enjoy her life.

Well that's your opinion, but I know for a fact if it happened, every time the relationship went through a bad point I'd be forced into being the middle man, I'd probably be pestered and would have to hear my friend, or my sister, being bitched about. Also yeah, if a friend dated one of my mates I introduced them to and they got hurt, I'd feel like ****, let alone a sister.

Ahleckz said:
Your friends don't sound great if they've screwed every female in their life over. Why are you friends with them?

Tbh mate, they are decent as mates, I don't care what they do to women, I'm hardly gonna fall out with people because they had a bit of fun with a few randomers who ended up catching feelings. It's life, and it's the fact they are like that, that they stay away from people I care about, which is something you can only respect.

The good thing about your sister dating somebody you don't actually know properly is that if it goes south then it goes south, that sucks, but would you really wanna be forced into that situation where you either have to take sides, or have to see the guy who hurt your sister on a regular basis, which would also create friction between you and your family? We are all very protective. My dad would probably kill me if that happened.

Kamwah · 27 Oct 2012 at 12:44

Omaeka said:
They aren't **** mates, but they aren't exactly boyfriend material at our age no, if I knew a lad who was a top bloke who didn't screw every female in his life over, then I'd probably think differently, but that isn't the case so here we are.

A man can somewhat be judged on who he chooses to keep in his company.

If you're choosing to hang around with guys who just **** around then shouldn't you be saying "I wouldn't let me mates date my sister because they're all ********" instead of your "I wouldn't let my mates date my sister because I wouldn't want to have to sort them out"

Omaeka said:
Well that's your opinion, but I know for a fact if it happened, every time the relationship went through a bad point I'd be forced into being the middle man, I'd probably be pestered and would have to hear my friend, or my sister, being bitched about. Also yeah, if a friend dated one of my mates I introduced them to and they got hurt, I'd feel like ****, let alone a sister.

Tbh mate, they are decent as mates, I don't care what they do to women, I'm hardly gonna fall out with people because they had a bit of fun with a few randomers who ended up catching feelings. It's life, and it's the fact they are like that, that they stay away from people I care about, which is something you can only respect.

The good thing about your sister dating somebody you don't actually know properly is that if it goes south then it goes south, that sucks, but would you really wanna be forced into that situation where you either have to take sides, or have to see the guy who hurt your sister on a regular basis, which would also create friction between you and your family? We are all very protective. My dad would probably kill me if that happened.

TBH you just sound like a wimp who can't draw the line of whats your business and isn't.