First time dad...

pgi947

pgi947

pgi947

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Aberdeen
Hi all...

SO I found out last week I'm going to be a dad for the first time, as is the mothers first time.

Tbh I'm not sure what to expect, how to plan for this, what to do, how to do it etc...about 10 weeks gone atm, due sometime in June.

Basically I'm clueless and could do with some 'real world' advise, I find all information online to be pretty much BS based on my own assumption, making it sound overly easy.

The one thing I have noticed is how much the government pretty much kicks you in the stones as much as possible while having your first born, £120 a week pre tax for paternity?? Really?? Something else I should be looking into to assist with this? I'd very much love to take 2 weeks PAT leave + 2 weeks annual Leave when its born, but I seriously can't afford to take such a pay ditch over 2 weeks.

Any other recent first time dads want to give me some tips?
 
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pgi947 said:
Hi all...

SO I found out last week I'm going to be a dad for the first time, as is the mothers first time.

Tbh I'm not sure what to expect, how to plan for this, what to do, how to do it etc...about 10 weeks gone atm, due sometime in June.

Basically I'm clueless and could do with some 'real world' advise, I find all information online to be pretty much BS based on my own assumption, making it sound overly easy.

The one thing I have noticed is how much the government pretty much kicks you in the stones as much as possible while having your first born, £120 a week pre tax for paternity?? Really?? Something else I should be looking into to assist with this? I'd very much love to take 2 weeks PAT leave + 2 weeks annual Leave when its born, but I seriously can't afford to take such a pay ditch over 2 weeks.

Any other recent first time dads want to give me some tips?
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To be honest, you've got a lot more to be concerned about than 2 weeks paternity pay.

But to fix that, stick a tenner away every week for the next 42 weeks.
 
Congratulations.

I'd start stocking up on nappies, and wetwipes now. It'll make it easier on your wallet being able to build up a good stock over the coming months.
 
my first is 18 month now :)

Get the obvious of making sure you pre decorate a room and buy all the milk, nappies, clothes, toys, pram etc etc have all this done well in advance.

Emotionally/physically you can't really prepare :p just be ready for a few (or more) sleep deprived nights, make sure you are always there for baby and mother regardless of how you feel!

Apart from that good luck and enjoy, it's fantastic, if a tad stressful at times :p
 
Its a great laugh tbh, I love my daughter to bits. I always make sure she has everything, even if it means we suffer.

A word of advice? .... Don't crowd your OH, she will get very touchy and grouchy very quickly. A found one of them pillows with bean bag fillings to be the best for support at night, especially when she gets a bump.
 
Congratulations.

Now, not to bring a downer to everything but I would suggest you wait until the second trimester until doing anything in regards to preparation.

Following that, as suggested maybe think about saving a tenner a week or something. But I wouldn't worry about buying nappies etc til maybe a month or two before. They take up quite a lot of room and are quite cheap any way.

Again, congratulations. :-)
 
Congratulations the the next part of your life.

I am also going to be a Dad, in about 3 weeks.

Expect massive hormonal moodswings, massive food shopping bills (she will eat like a horse), fear, financial worries, worries about whether you can be a good parent, the loss of your youth, the responsibility, the lack of sleep (she will find it hard to sleep and feel sick all the time and eat at night and pee every hour), what to name it, does it matter if it a boy or a girl, how do you feed it, what buggy to get, what car seat attachment to get. This list goes on and on and on.

Anyway, I'm trying my best to enjoy it and I know the end product will make me. Can't wait really.

Enjoy it. :)
 
Pretty much just gotta give up everything you like, pay for everything, and be happy about it.

There must be something good about it down the line... plenty of dads say it's the best thing that ever happened to them.
 
PapaLazaru said:
Congratulations the the next part of your life.

I am also going to be a Dad, in about 3 weeks.

Expect massive hormonal moodswings, massive food shopping bills (she will eat like a horse), fear, financial worries, worries about whether you can be a good parent, the loss of your youth, the responsibility, the lack of sleep (she will find it hard to sleep and feel sick all the time and eat at night and pee every hour), what to name it, does it matter if it a boy or a girl, how do you feed it, what buggy to get, what car seat attachment to get. This list goes on and on and on.

Anyway, I'm trying my best to enjoy it and I know the end product will make me. Can't wait really.

Enjoy it. :)
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Pretty much that.

Ours is just coming up to four months old, and I've still not quite got my head around the idea of him being there all the time. The thing to try and remember, especially when you're shattered and worrying about all the costs and such is that everntually it'll be absolutely worth it. There's nothing quite like when they grab hold of your finger or giggle like an idiot at something you're doing.

Well, well worth it. It just might not seem like it all the time!
 
billysielu said:
Pretty much just gotta give up everything you like, pay for everything, and be happy about it.
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So the same as having a girlfriend then? :p

I wouldn't worry too much about stocking up on clothes/nappies etc. as you might find yourself in the same position as we did! Little monster came out at 2.25kg... all the stuff we had was waaaaayyyy too big - cue dad doing a 9am run to Mothercare (luckily about a mile down the road) after 3 nights of no sleep to get something he could actually fit in :P

Just save, save, save and save. And stock up on sleep wherever possible!!

Don't listen to the guys saying you have to give up everything - yeah this is true for the first couple of months, but ours is 10 months now (on Monday in fact) and we get a couple of hours to chill in the evening when he's gone to bed :).

It probably hasn't fully sunken in yet to be honest - with me it didn't really hit me until she was about 6 months.

The really fun part is when you get home from the hospital, and suddenly realise "**** I need to keep this little thing alive and I have no idea what I'm doing!! :p"

Regarding the paternity pay - have you checked with your employer? As many places will pay more than the statutory.
 
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Congratulations. Stock up on you lie-in's now while you can, you're not going to be having any more for a while after baby is born!
 
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