Magnolia's sweet shop : a strategy game of confectionery
- Thread starter [FnG]magnolia
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[FnG]magnolia;23436472 said:
Based on this, I presume that the previous terms are acceptable. Bonuses are negotiable. Any action taken from now will be on those terms, at a minimum.
Dear Doofer,
I'm sorry for the loss allegedly suffered by your claimants. Unfortunately you have failed to particularise the nature of these alleged damages nor you have you provided sufficient information, such as the full name of the dwarf Gemma, for us to investigate this.
In any event, we deny any liability in these cases. Please refer to our very detailed, extremely fine print, terms and conditions available in an easy to read, 200 volume, 5,000 page book which can be sent to you, at no cost (other than an extremely heavy P&P cost to be borne by you).
That being said, this is a new business and we would like to make sure all our customers are happy. We are prepared to offer you a one off gesture of 1 kola kube for each of the claimants. My client's business does not currently supply any tic-tacs and we are unable to meet this demand.
Please let me know if this is satisfactory.
I'm afraid we already have an 'arrangement' with a certain Mr Michael Corleone. You may want to reach out to him before contacting us.
Dear Sirs,
Thank you for your post. I'm afraid that as a Sweetie shop, Mr Magnolia's establishment does not come under the current legal definition of 'food' and is not subject to regulatory oversight by the Environmental health agency. As such, we will be unable to comply with your request. We are however fully compliant with all Sweetie related regulations and can provide certificates to this regard upon receipt of a court order at our registered office. My associate Moses can direct you to the address.
Dear sir,
As an online only business (under a domain name you don't own) your business is particuarly at risk to cyber threats.
I can offer full penetration testing and consultancy services with regards to information risk. Such services would help guarantee the long term success of your business.
My rates are negotiable, but I an only able to accept payment in fudge for tax reasons
Kind regards,
Judgeneo
As an online only business (under a domain name you don't own) your business is particuarly at risk to cyber threats.
I can offer full penetration testing and consultancy services with regards to information risk. Such services would help guarantee the long term success of your business.
My rates are negotiable, but I an only able to accept payment in fudge for tax reasons
Kind regards,
Judgeneo
Proprietor Magnoli - It appears scrotes are taking advantage of your open door honesty policy and making off with your sweet sweet merchendise. I propose I offer you security and protection at your place of business and would do so for a modest 1 SW per week, suitable living accommodation and reasonable access to your stock for sustenance purposes. I have the suitable physical skills and an excellent grasp of the Sweet Shop (Sale, Operation and Licensing) Law 1872.
Of primary concern to you is Section 7 parts A and B:
A:- A person, whom when on licensed sweet shop premises, takes and carries away any confectionery capable of being stolen, with intent at the time of such taking permanently to deprive the sweet shop owner thereof.
B:- Provided a person may be guilty of stealing any such confectionery, notwithstanding he has lawful possession thereof or a claim of right made in good faith, if being a bailee or part owner of the confectionery fraudulently converts the same to his own use of the use of another.
Please reply with your thoughts on this proposition.
Of primary concern to you is Section 7 parts A and B:
A:- A person, whom when on licensed sweet shop premises, takes and carries away any confectionery capable of being stolen, with intent at the time of such taking permanently to deprive the sweet shop owner thereof.
B:- Provided a person may be guilty of stealing any such confectionery, notwithstanding he has lawful possession thereof or a claim of right made in good faith, if being a bailee or part owner of the confectionery fraudulently converts the same to his own use of the use of another.
Please reply with your thoughts on this proposition.
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Soldato
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What the hell is this thread?
Associate
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I'm looking for lollipops but there are none to be seen 
. Can I trade a homemade double choc, peanut butter cookie for 3 kola kubes?
. Can I trade a homemade double choc, peanut butter cookie for 3 kola kubes?![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
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If you can get me the www.magnoliasweetshop.com domain name and can perform the required testing and various consultancy services which a high profile online confectionery presence demands then I can provide fudge.
I do need and would enjoy a protector and a handyman, particularly one well versed in sweety IP. I will give you reasonable access as per your request. Do you think you could lift a bison in the air?
I'm looking for lollipops but there are none to be seen
Looking for some lollipops, sweetie brokers. WTT at 1 FS : 0.8 L
Let's make this happen.
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Chris [BEANS];23433474 said:
Business has been brisk and it's not entirely unexpected that I missed this.
The vintage/prestige/oh to be young again market is one I'm keen to explore. Of particular interest is the rare blackcurrant Monster Muncher whammy pack.
Are you in a position to discuss?
Due to lack or response I have fenced the aforementioned sherbet pips to you arch nemesis, Big Boy Fudge. Be aware though that I have a huge consortium of lemon bon-bons, cherry laces and fizz bombs coming into stock imminently. Again there is no paperwork as these are "hot". Let me know 
Inland Revenue are here,
It appears you've bought a an expensive gaming pc and put it down as an expense for the company, care to explain?
This can all go away for 80 Kola Kubes.
Failure to comply will result in incineration of all sweets, good DAY sir.
It appears you've bought a an expensive gaming pc and put it down as an expense for the company, care to explain?
This can all go away for 80 Kola Kubes.
Failure to comply will result in incineration of all sweets, good DAY sir.
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Due to lack or response I have fenced the aforementioned sherbet pips to you arch nemesis, Big Boy Fudge. Be aware though that I have a huge consortium of lemon bon-bons, cherry laces and fizz bombs coming into stock imminently. Again there is no paperwork as these are "hot". Let me know
Only the weak are hasty but it would be remiss of me to take hold of stolen goods. May I refer you to my solicitors Sudden & Moses.
Having said that, and without having engaged my Legal Council prior to this "chat", Cherry Laces are a thing that I would consider if they were put through appropriate channels. I'm sure that you if you were to speak to my colleagues a fantastic outcome would happen.
If you are not comfortable with this offer then perhaps I could ask Sin_Chase, a friend of mine, to visit you?
I don't think you know who you are dealing with, gorgeous.
See you soon.
[FnG]magnolia;23437319 said:
It seems you're rapidly expanding business has left you in need of an experienced buyer to handle your stock acquisition and negotiate the exchange of goods/services.
I am prepared to offer my services for the moderate sum of 50 SW pcm plus an annual bonus, as is befitting of a role so crucial to the continuance of your business. This would free you up to take on the oversight of your business and would leave the "nitty gritty" to me.
I eagerly await your reply.
Kind regards,
Sir Devrij Toppabottomus
Cherry laces are in, paperwork has been organisged and through an elaborate shipping exercise through various ports the consignment can be considered cosha. There's 6 pallets containing 500 laces each. My organisation are looking for 75 SW monies per pallet or 400 for the lot. You will need to organise collection from Auckland freight dock.
![Chris [BEANS]](/styles/overclockers/avatars/6.png){kind=avatar}
Soldato
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[FnG]magnolia;23437319 said:
Not entirely unexpected, maybe. Unprofessional, absolutely.
The Chewits are gone, and your reputation tarnished. I am however not an unreasonable man.
I'm not sure that anyone has access to either of the two remaining 'blackcurrant Monster Muncher whammy packs'. As you must be aware, one was obtained by a mysterious buyer at the Wonka Invitational Benefit Auction of 2008, and the other is owned by Mr William Gates of Microsoft. The chances of obtaining either of them are less than slim.
What I am able to obtain are a dozen Wham bars.
I can assure you that these are legitimate and authentic, not the Asian bootleg Wham bars flooding the market.
I am not a man to be kept waiting. Nor, following our previous misunderstanding am I a man willing to engage with a subordinate.
The offer is open and if you take your venture seriously I expect your personal response in good time.