Magnolia's sweet shop : a strategy game of confectionery

Dear [FnG]magnolia

I am interested in investing in your sweet shop. I would like to buy a 49% stake at the total cost of 50,000 SW. I can help grow your company to a multi-forum operation, with franchies all over the interwebs. I ask for mere salary of 1SW in return for stock options.

PS I <3 sweets. Please may I have a signing bonus of 10 flyer saucers?
 
Sin_Chase said:
Just finished my bison lifting session and am en route to the pre-determined location. Be advised, an elaborate, over engineered triple fail safe plan is in operation should I not return at the agreed time. I will also be wearing a dead-man switch operated C4 jacket which also has pockets for the BIC byros we will use to deal with, they do not contain explosive ink.
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While the deal is being signed, can you also get him to sign a waiver so Magnolia Inc. isn't liable for any loss of limbs, motor control, death, death-like symptons etc. of Loam, Loam's children, his children's children and anyone they associate with?
 
I paused.

With each moment of silence that went by, I could sense an alarm bell ringing inside her head. It was getting louder and louder, almost to the point where I could physically hear it.

I glanced out across the moonlit water hoping to seek temporary comfort from the glistening gyration of white light dancing from its surface. I found none.

I turned my head and looked her in the eye. Those perfect eyes. Those perfect eyes that I knew were searching my own for some sort of clue, searching for an answer to the question which haunts my every memory of the women I thought I could love.

The same question every single time.

I sighed.

She started to get impatient.

"Well?" she said. "What is it? What do you do!?"

I couldn't lie to her. I've never been able to lie. No, I had to tell her straight

I took a moment to light up a cigarette before uttering the same words I always uttered, "Baby, I'm in the candy business."

Her look of bewilderment quickly turned into one of disgust.

I never know exactly how they're going to take it. The only thing I do know is they always take it bad.
 
Sudden said:
While the deal is being signed, can you also get him to sign a waiver so Magnolia Inc. isn't liable for any loss of limbs, motor control, death, death-like symptons etc. of Loam, Loam's children, his children's children and anyone they associate with?
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These terms are baked into every contract that Magnolia Inc drafts. Pretty much industry standard. I shall have the legal team review the paperwork before I take it down to ensure their robustness in this area.
 
The deal will complete just fine providing your man isn't twitchy, as with the nature of these dealings my role was complete at shipment and I no longer sully my hands with point of entry contacts. The paperwork is all complete and in order within the freight docket.

Enjoy your cherry laces, have a buyer text me about the Bon-Bons. I'll be in touch shortly regarding a small volume of sherbert lemons that I may be able to source.
 
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Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let's not let this get out of hand! Mr Beans, my employer Senor Magnolia has made it clear he has no wish to do business with you, and we will not have the great name of Magnolias Sweets tarnished by this brutish behaviour.

Mr LOAM, we will happily accept your delivery of stock at the price you requested, although I might request one extra case be delivered FOC after the trouble we've gone through to get this far. Perhaps we can meet for a champagne lunch to discuss these bonbons?

Also, I can assure you that Mr Sin Chase is not twitchy in the slightest and is not a man to be trifled with either. I'm told he can lift a bison.
 
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A bison you say, ironically he's meeting Colin the Bull.

Champagne sounds delightful, ill bring some Bon-Bons to sample. Alas the cheery lace supply is currently exhausted.
 
LOAM said:
A bison you say, ironically he's meeting Colin the Bull.

Champagne sounds delightful, ill bring some Bon-Bons to sample. Alas the cheery lace supply is currently exhausted.
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Excellent, my secretary will be in contact to sort out the details. I look forwards to doing business with you again, and I'm sure my employer will be glad to secure yet another strong partner.
 
I have male influenza. This sweet stuff confuzzles my brainhurt. :(


AmTechFox said:
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Fabulous.


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Fabulous.
 
Squark said:
Can I enquire as to your current stock, as I wish to make a purchase or trade.
Regards
Squark
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We have an abundance of red laces if you would be interested in a pallet of those in return for something else? We also have some small quantities of flying saucers and other assorted sweets, with a rare triangle of toblerone, although I must warn you that its precious rarity commands a high price.

We are in negotiations about a shipment of bon-bons, but we don't have an ETA on those.

Regards,

Sir Devrij Topabottomus
Senior Buyer by appt. of Senor Magnolia
 
Hello, for I am an eccentric philanthropist who takes great pleasure in the thriving of small confectionery related businesses! I would like to make a generous donation to your shop in the form of 53 humbugs! How might I forward these to you?
 
I can accept delivery of your generous donation by shipping if you prefer, and I will make sure Mr Magnolia is aware of your kindness once he wakes up. Alternatively, you can visit the shop in person to have a look around. We have some great offers on red laces :)
 
I can offer a home-made cheesecake with raspberry coulis topping if you're looking to branch out from just confectionery.
 
Squark said:
I can offer a home-made cheesecake with raspberry coulis topping if you're looking to branch out from just confectionery.
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You'll have to take that up with Mr Magnolia once he's available. My brief is to acquire stock of delicious confectionery at reasonable prices, but I feel perishable goods might not last well in the heat of our Auckland-based shop.
 
Edrof said:
I have male influenza. This sweet stuff confuzzles my brainhurt. :(

image of she who must not be named and should NEVER be named. That ... harlot.
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Mr Chase, if you could handle this matter. Thank you. And if it pleases you, you can make it less quick than normal.

Devrij said:
You'll have to take that up with Mr Magnolia once he's available. My brief is to acquire stock of delicious confectionery at reasonable prices, but I feel perishable goods might not last well in the heat of our Auckland-based shop.
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Perishable goods are difficult to look after in summer but the offer is warmly received. I would be upset if a further offer were not forthcoming.

I would like to buy some fizzy lemons, perhaps up to 40.

e :
from before said:
I'm looking for lollipops but there are none to be seen . Can I trade a homemade double choc, peanut butter cookie for 3 kola kubes?
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I'll pay top SW for lollies. My HoB will manage the transactions as always. He's very good.
 
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Right away sir. I have a meeting scheduled with Mr LOAM with regards to sourcing some Bon bons, I'll see if he knows where we might find lollies and fizzy lemons.

***
Dear Mr LOAM,
I should like to meet sooner than discussed. If you are available today, I thought the Ritz would be a suitable meeting point. I shall await your arrival at your leisure, as we have much to discuss.

Many thanks,
Sir Devrij toppabottomus, senior buyer.
***
 
The Ritz you say, I'm impressed with your table acquiring skills and am a sucker for a cucumber sandwich with the crust removed. Expect me at 12:06.

Lollies whilst difficult are not outside our long reach, they do however attract a premium. I suggest I make some enquiries prior to lunch.
 
Devrij, please do shout if you would like a friend to go with you. He can be discrete.

Memo from : Magnolia
Recipient : Mr Chase
bcc : removed

Ensure everyone has a pleasant day. A very pleasant day.
 
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