How to catch a psychopath...

Send a gang of skinheads round.

More seriously, what about a spy camera? There's plenty on the auction site, disguised as keyfobs for car alarm, etc.
 
darael said:
Send a gang of skinheads round.

More seriously, what about a spy camera? There's plenty on the auction site, disguised as keyfobs for car alarm, etc.
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Yeh this is looking like the best option I think. Could then record, and see everything that takes place.

Will start looking into one today, thank you.
 
How about getting her to keep a log of what goes on? i.e. dates and times and what occurs.

It's not hard evidence but would support a court case and make it harder for him to deny - especially coupled with a spy cam like others have suggested.
 
I would start logging incidents to the police just so they are there if anything bad were to happen to the family member.

We logged something about a psyco ex landlady and it made us look very favourably in court when she was trying to extort 4k worth of fictional damage to her property by us.

If you are not going to seriously harm him this would be a good step to take.
 
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Sleeve88 said:
Bit of a random thread I will admit, but I am in a god awful situation and in serious need of some advice.

A close family member is in a very difficult relationship with their husband of 20 years. The man in essence is a psychopath:

Psychopathy (/saɪˈkɒpəθi/[1][2] is a personality disorder that has been variously characterized by shallow emotions (including reduced fear, a lack of empathy, and stress tolerance), coldheartedness, egocentricity, superficial charm, manipulativeness, irresponsibility, impulsivity, criminality, antisocial behavior, a lack of remorse, and a parasitic lifestyle. However, there is no consensus about the symptom criteria and there are ongoing debates regarding issues such as essential features, causes, and the possibility of treatment.[3]

He has been slowly grinding said person down for years now with verbal abuse. I would even go as far as to call it torture. Not to mention the sneaky things he does behind her back to provoke a reaction. Then, when she does react to said situation he records her on his phone and mocks her for getting upset. The woman is crying on a daily basis to members of my family from the vile things he does to her.

Now he is trying to get her evicted from her own home and creating scenarios to make her look emotionally unstable etc and using her depression and anxiety attacks as a weapon against her (Bare in mind these were bought on by his abuse over the years)

The problem is he is a very clever man and impossible to catch him out. If only I had all week to divulge the sick games he plays.

I know this probably isn't the best place to ask, and sorry if this thread is unacceptable here but I'm literally at breaking point and in desperate need of some advice from anyone who has experienced similar.

If I had it my way I would just turn up at the door and 'talk' to him, however I've tried this before and he called the police to have me escorted off the property. Plus it could impact on my family members case if he does try to take it to court to have her evicted.

I have booked her an appointment with a domestic abuse worker at my local council for next week, but besides that I'm absolutely lost for ways to help her.

Any advice is appreciated, or any ideas of ways to set him up for a fall.

Thanks.
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Not being funny but why doesn't she just leave him? Why all the need for sneakery etc. Just have her walk out the door and not go back.
 
I'd be careful as I know from personal experience that there's three sides to a story like this, her side of things, his side of things and then what is actually going on. Women can be manipulative in the extreme and it's very, very easy to get get duped into helping 'The victim', I'm not saying it IS the case, I'm trying to make you aware that it COULD be the case.
 
People are stupid, in general and women in particular seem to be unable to leave bad situations for fear of finding an even worse one. She most likely see's him as, while a bad person, at least its someone who is with her, and cares for her on some level, she might never find someone again and that often makes people in abusive relationships stay, the abuse may be bad but its a known quantity, the fear of the unknown is larger.

This is where you step in, you need to reassure her that leaving him isn't going to be that scarey, that she'll always have a place for herself and her kids to stay, you, parents, whoever, not some idle "hey you can stay with me till you find your feet" promise, a "you can stay with me till I die" kind of promise, sincere, she needs a safety net to feel strong enough to leave him.

If she still won't leave, well you can't save people from themselves. Do some research, point out how her kids will turn out if they see abusive parents for their entire lives, while it won't be great if he gets custody, there are plenty of people who are abusive to a husband/wife but would never do anything to their children, resentment of the people you marry often causes abuse, but that doesn't mean they'll abuse their kids in any way... obviously some people are just abusive and the kids might not be safe with him. Either way leaving won't make it worse, it will likely make him less angry and her less unhappy.

She needs to mentally make a pro-cons list where the pro's for leaving win, currrently clearly her "cons" list is winning. IT doesn't even really matter if its real or not, some people essentially make themselves unhappy by insisting every single thing said is some massive attack when its just an innocent comment... real or imagined, fake or not, she'll be happier and safer not there, and her kids will be happier without parents barking at each other.

So the job is, you make her realise she has to leave, not some half hearted BS, sit down, think of every reason she has that might scare her into not leaving and come up with a logical reason to get rid of those fears, go in prepare, calm and get her to leave, simple as that. Its a house, its bricks and mortar, nothing more, being unhappy and ruining your life and your kids over some bricks is completely insane.
 
“Understanding is a three edged sword: your side, their side, and the truth.”

She needs to leave him. With the help of family or a woman's refuge. The longer she stays, the harder it is going to get for her. I don't think a spy camera is the solution here.
 
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I've never understood **** like this. When my father became abusive etc. my mother kicked him out. Subsequently the courts told him he couldn't see my brother and I until we were sixteen due to multiple incidents regarding access visits and maintenance dispute.

This was 20 years ago now, and support networks back then were nothing compared to now.

That said, some people are unable to help themselves like this for whatever reason, so I can only suggest you go round and punch his lights out. And before the cries of keyboard warrior arise, may I remind you of the stolen laptop thread. Go round there, shoes said. Get your laptop back, shoes said. No, they said, that's not how you proceed, call the police. And we all know how that turned out.

I'm sure there are enough men in the family aware of this situation to take on mr bullied at school.
 
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Dis86 said:
Not being funny but why doesn't she just leave him? Why all the need for sneakery etc. Just have her walk out the door and not go back.
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oh wow, hit the obvious solution on the first page (well, the leaving bit, not necessarily the 'walk out one day and never come back' bit)? What the hell is happening to GD?
 
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