Mrs just left me..

[platypus]

You won't see the money again, just move on I'm afraid.

 

[mranderson]

End of story. Move on - forget about it. Life has so much more to offer.

 

['Wes]

5 pages of telling you to move on pretty much sends a clear message OP.

 

[Sin_Chase]

"I need some space to think"

AKA

"I've been spending time with someone else as a 'friend' who I like and want to screw/pursue, it might not work out so I need a fall-back with you. I need a green light to do it morally though and so want some space"

 

[Twirlywoos]

Deep down below the hate I have for what she's just done.. Yes. Don't get me wrong we've had our ups and downs this year, but I believe we could have worked through it.

No.

I'm 22. she's 20. Not married. But we do live together and have for 2 years.

Christ, I thought this was a serious thread and you were getting divorced or something. Not some lovers tiff. Move on, be a man!

 

[Narj]

Don't hit the bottle, it will make things worse. That's my advice.

 

[Diesel]

Also, don't **** about letting her get bits and pieces from your place as she wants. Give her a day, tell her you want all her stuff gone.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Rule 2: Sever Contact With Your Ex
Before you argue, head right down to Erratta: Can I Be Friends With My Ex?, then find yourself right back here.

Think about how all of your emotional turmoil is tied up with the relationship between you and one person (and possibly their family and friends). You think staying in touch will help you get over that? No. Take a break from confronting both the source and reminders of that turmoil. Don’t call, text, email, read Facebook updates, visit, or have sex with your ex. Block their Facebook (not “hide feed,” not “unfriend”). Block their email and cell. If you live with your ex, move out. If you work with them, consider a transfer. If you share friends, spend time with other friends. Tell the people you spend time with that you want to minimize reminders, discussion, and anything else relating to your ex (unless you need to bitch. Limited venting can be cathartic if you don’t **** your friends off with too much).

Minimaul posted:

Do yourself a favor and remove the person from your life that chose to remove you from theirs.

“Do not contact your ex” doesn't mean that YOU don't make effort to contact them but you respond when they get in touch with you. Cause, I mean, you technically didn't contact them, right? Wrong. It means NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EX...Just because you aren't contacting them that does not mean you're properly severing. It means do not even respond to them. Do not take the bait to any comments that raise your hackles, pique your interest, slander or cajole your feelings into responding...Every single contact will set you back to a point so far behind that it takes longer to catch up and move on than if you had just severed and ripped that damn band aid off.

It will be hard and sometimes they get offended. Seriously! How absurd is that? They get offended because you're severing from them when they ripped your heart of out of your ass. It seems so absurd that it's impossible, but I assure you my fellow GoonyGoons, it happens more than you think. The ex [that doesn’t bother with these rules], most often, is trying to assuage their own guilt when they remain in contact. It's entirely selfish of them. Now it's your turn to be selfish, stop talking to them and accept things and move on. Severing is acceptance and moving forward.

Most people relapse at some point. The important thing to remember is that they will never respond how you want them to respond. Because what you want them to say is “I’m sorry, I love you, I’ll always love you, let’s get back together and pretend none of this ever happened”. And they’re not going to say that. And if they do, you won’t believe them, because hey: they did it once, they can do it again.

You are NOT the exception to the rule.

 

[TommyV]

You are NOT the exception to the rule.

Just seen your sig, if ADS4 comes out, I'll guna puke out of my penis. And not the bloody kind.

 

[cHk4]

Count yourself lucky you got a 4 page letter, I broke up with my ex of 8 and half years over a text a few hours before she was due over for the weekend.

 

[Dr Jack]

You are NOT the exception to the rule.

I am friends with many of my exes; there's no good reason you can't be. It's just a lack of emotional maturity.

 

[Slyman2k4]

3 Years in
....

SHE needs time to weigh up HER options and see what benefits HER the most. None of which has your best interests in mind. Snake with ****, move on, find one of the rare ones that isn't a nut job, two faced or a bunny boiler.

 

[A[L]C]

Sounds like my past experience.

We were going out from 16, moved in at my mums at 17, moved out and rented a flat at 18... then at 19 she tells me she loves me but needs space and we split up. For about 6 months we were apart, she lived her life and I lived mine. I still loved her. I gave her the space she needed, and it was really tough. I'd told her that if she slept with anyone then that was it, it was finished forever.... about 4 months later, she found out from my best friend (no longer!) that I was talking to a girl from bournemouth (nothing more than a kiss though)... then I found out she went and slept with a friend of someone from our group of friends. That one hurt, but I loved her and we worked through it. We kept talking, but I tried not to be possessive (failed at that a bit though!).

Anyway, long and short of it, we've been married for nearly 7 years and have 2 beautiful children.

So, I think if it's meant to be then it will be. Don't move on completely if you love her, but give her the space she needs.

In my case, I don't believe that there was anyone else during the split, but we'd been together since 16 and she needed to live her life separately for a bit.

 

[bloodiedathame]

From experience do NOT do the following:

Stalk her movements
Come across as desperate and your life is falling apart without her.
Get angry, over emotional yadayada
Ring her when drunk
Stay close with her family members

Do:

Get fit (she'll probably be jealous)
Move on with your life and things you want to do
Enjoy your new found freedom spending more time with friends
Make new friends, do new activities
Make sure she can't see what you're up to on FB etc
Consider a new wardrobe

Always remember if it's meant to be then it will be.

 

[bloodiedathame]

Sounds like my past experience.

We were going out from 16, moved in at my mums at 17, moved out and rented a flat at 18... then at 19 she tells me she loves me but needs space and we split up. For about 6 months we were apart, she lived her life and I lived mine. I still loved her. I gave her the space she needed, and it was really tough. I'd told her that if she slept with anyone then that was it, it was finished forever.... about 4 months later, she found out from my best friend (no longer!) that I was talking to a girl from bournemouth (nothing more than a kiss though)... then I found out she went and slept with a friend of someone from our group of friends. That one hurt, but I loved her and we worked through it. We kept talking, but I tried not to be possessive (failed at that a bit though!).

Anyway, long and short of it, we've been married for nearly 7 years and have 2 beautiful children.

So, I think if it's meant to be then it will be. Don't move on completely if you love her, but give her the space she needs.

In my case, I don't believe that there was anyone else during the split, but we'd been together since 16 and she needed to live her life separately for a bit.

Sounds scarily familiar! Are you my doppelganger?

 

[A[L]C]

From experience do NOT do the following:

Stalk her movements
Come across as desperate and your life is falling apart without her.
Get angry, over emotional yadayada
Ring her when drunk
Stay close with her family members

Do:

Get fit (she'll probably be jealous)
Move on with your life and things you want to do
Enjoy your new found freedom spending more time with friends
Make new friends, do new activities
Make sure she can't see what you're up to on FB etc

Agreed. One of the things which helped with me was getting a new wardrobe (clothes, not the wardrobe itself ). She said she liked the fact that I'd changed my look a bit, and found it attractive.

 

[bloodiedathame]

Agreed. One of the things which helped with me was getting a new wardrobe (clothes, not the wardrobe itself ). She said she liked the fact that I'd changed my look a bit, and found it attractive.

That's a good one, one I forgot actually! One I have done!

 

[Skidder]

And the first thing that's coming into my mind as im ready... 5 years isn't that long to wait. Even I realise how stupid and pathetic that is!



Feel your pain dude.. Hope all is good now.



Thing is. Im not 22 mentally, Im way way older.. and a very, very, very logical person whos methods in life are literately directly connected to that picture of WD40 + Masking Tape.. Can I fix it with either one of these.. yes? great. No? I cant fix or change it, Don't worry about it then.... And Ive just got embedded in my head that things would plan out and she finishes uni end of this year, then we've got decent cash flow coming in, we save for house, move etc etc etc.. and by the time im 27-28 im settled and first kid is on its way. Just the thought of starting again now, like say a year to smash pasty, 2-3years before comfortable to buy somewhere with someone again, then 2-3 again before ready for all that stuff. I just feel like the floor I stand on has been ripped out from under me and my whole life set back 2,3 maybe 4 years for that plan I had in my head.

I feel a little bit suffocated reading the above and if I had ovaries I am pretty sure they would have just winced.

I think it is time to drop the time consideration. You are very young and you have been playing house, forget all thoughts about measuring yourself against this timetable, it is an absolute hiding to nothing. At your age, just relax, enjoy yourself, make the right moves for your career, go out with people, enjoy being young. The relationship, mortgage, kids, dogs and happiness come whether you plan it or not. In my view they are more likely to come when you don't have a calendar and a clip board you are waving in the face of every girl you meet.

I am nevertheless sorry you are upset, life goes on so make sure you enjoy it.

 

[gigeorge]

Deep down below the hate I have for what she's just done.. Yes. Don't get me wrong we've had our ups and downs this year, but I believe we could have worked through it.

No.

I'm 22. she's 20. Not married. But we do live together and have for 2 years.

Jesus man, you're young yet. I know it doesnt really detract from the fact that you love her and she could have been the one but... Time is definitely on your side and its a terrible cliche but theres plenty more fish in the sea - just dont start using POF - theyre all whores ! haha

 

[A[L]C]

Sounds scarily familiar! Are you my doppelganger?

Ooh maybe....

That's a good one, one I forgot actually! One I have done!

Lol long lost bro?