Asking her the big question...

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OP - if you aren't sure then don't ask yet until you are. Once those words are out you can't take them back without causing you, her and both families a huge amount of heartache. Make sure you're ready for it!

I got engaged to my then girlfriend after about 7 months and married her after another 2.5 years, still married over 3 years later and going strong. Bare in mind my previous relationships had been fairly long compared to 7 months and I never asked any of them to marry me! (7 years and 2 years for previous serious relationships).

Do it when you are sure and don't do it in public if you don't think she'd want that - it's not "cute" and it won't be appreciated! A private setting can be far, far more romantic depending on your lady!
 
What is the point of getting married? I wish I hadn't. Seeing my brother in the early stages of divorce proceedings makes me bitterly regret it. It is an old, outdated and biased system that hands your balls to a woman who on a whim may decide to kick you out and keep them.

He has a house he owns he is not allowed to live in, he has a car he is not allowed to drive and forever more his earnings (including pension) will go to her... and they broke up because she decided she was "bored" and having a midlife crisis. He had no choice and made no major mistakes (affair etc..).
 
Sevenof9 said:
Those in long term relationships; how long have you been together and has the thought crossed your mind at all?
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Does 20 years or so count as long term? I wouldn't say the thought has never crossed our minds, but we both felt that marriage was not important to us and we remain un-married, but with a mortgage, 3 kids but no pets.

Good luck to you though :)
 
I recently asked my partner to marry me, last Friday actually, and she said yes. Couldn't be happier! But, I've been with her for 4 years and for the past year and a half we've lived together.

Honestly, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking her to marry me within a year or so... It would've just felt rushed.
 
Sevenof9 said:
I'm 29, she's 26. We were living together for 3 months before we became a couple so never really had the dynamics change. Not really asking for advice so much, just wanted to be nosey!
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5 years roughly. We had lived together on and off (due to work commitments).
 
I'll be getting married in a little over 2 weeks, I'll have know her for 5 months in total. by most people's standards that'd be quite short and I've dated people for that long and longer in the past without feeling the need to pop the question but it just felt right and I know that's a bit of an unhelpful answer but it is what it is. We started online on a dating website for members of the church we are part of and spoke solidly for a month before our first date and I was convinced from then, I proposed a month later and now we're getting married. its pretty standard in my faith though, my mum and dad had about a 5 month relationship prior to marriage and they're coming up for 25 years, my sister got married last year after 6 months and she's as happy as anything.

We're both old enough and mature enough to speak about our problems and make compromises if necessary
 
vincent1989 said:
I'll be getting married in a little over 2 weeks, I'll have know her for 5 months in total. by most people's standards that'd be quite short and I've dated people for that long and longer in the past without feeling the need to pop the question but it just felt right and I know that's a bit of an unhelpful answer but it is what it is. We started online on a dating website for members of the church we are part of and spoke solidly for a month before our first date and I was convinced from then, I proposed a month later and now we're getting married. its pretty standard in my faith though, my mum and dad had about a 5 month relationship prior to marriage and they're coming up for 25 years, my sister got married last year after 6 months and she's as happy as anything.

We're both old enough and mature enough to speak about our problems and make compromises if necessary
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Does your faith prohibit sex before marriage?
 
We got together almost 4 years ago.
Having been living together for almost 3 years.
Have had a cat for 6 months.
I am proposing in May.
 
I was with my now wife for 10 years before we got married, although over two of those near the start I lived on the other side of the world. Lived with her for six or seven and then got hitched. Couldn't see much point in rushing.
 
If you're gonna be with her for the rest of your life, or if that's the sentiment anyway, what's the need to get married so quickly? It's like getting that slow puncture fixed. The car still drives well, sure it needs a little air each time you fill up, but its still tip-top and you've still got a good 5mm of tread on the tyre. If it absolutely has to be done then you'll get it done, but it's good to go for a few thousand miles yet.

Also, probably best never to use the tyre analogy with your significant other. You know they're just going to take it the wrong way.
 
Theophany said:
If you're gonna be with her for the rest of your life, or if that's the sentiment anyway, what's the need to get married so quickly? It's like getting that slow puncture fixed. The car still drives well, sure it needs a little air each time you fill up, but its still tip-top and you've still got a good 5mm of tread on the tyre. If it absolutely has to be done then you'll get it done, but it's good to go for a few thousand miles yet.

Also, probably best never to use the tyre analogy with your significant other. You know they're just going to take it the wrong way.
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May be it's a split in another type of rubber that is driving him.
 
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