Girlfriends stalker ex..

Paton

Paton

Paton

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18 Jul 2007
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179
Location
Scotland
Just looking for some opinions on what to do in this situation i seem to be involved in.

Basically i got into a new relationship with my girlfriend around 3 months ago.

Just recently her ex boyfriend has been messaging her on Facebook from fake profiles as he is blocked, phoning, texting her that he wants her back and will do everything in his power to break us up etc.

These messages come in the form as to threatening to find where i live and kill me, so on and so fourth (the guy is not at all intimidating so i am not entirely concerened with these).

However when she refuses to respond to these messages and phonecalls he has starting saying he is going to turn up at her house and where she works to harrass her basically.

I work offshore so am not home until the middle of next month, so i am feeling a little helpless as i can't be there to comfort her or to protect her incase he might show up.

Oh and the ex just broke up with his current girlfriend who is pregnant so a classy guy to say the least!

What would you do in this situation? (Apart from the regular keyboard warrior responce!)
 
Yes i have already told her to contact the police if he does indeed start showing up at her work and home. Would there be enough grounds to get some kind of restraining order under this circumstance?
 
Paton said:
I work offshore so am not home until the middle of next month, so i am feeling a little helpless as i can't be there to comfort her or to protect her incase he might show up.
Click to expand...

no problem, just trust msg me your address and il pop round and 'comfort her' :)
 
I remember reading somewhere that though the term restraining order is banded about quite a lot it actually costs somewhere in the region of £2000 to implement unless it's done as part of a court imposed ASBO or similar...which brings you back to the Police.

I can't even remember where I read that so I can't say if it's true or not, I think it was in relation to messy divorces so fairly relevant (but potentially wrong!).
 
I have bene through a similar experience with one of my ex's.

Here is what she should do/ what i did...

First if all ring the non emergency local police number and tell them what is happening and tell them that you are both scared/intimited as he is clearly not a stanle person. The police will then most likely tell you they want to come to your/house on X date so in the mean time put together as much evidence as you can, make a bit of a diary, have messages ready to show on Facebook etc. Once evidence is given it will all be taken in to consideration and then the police will offer some sort of solution. For me it was a sort of restraining order ( I say sort of as neither of us were 21) which meant the police going to hers and telling her she was not allowed to come near me or contact me in any form, even asking a friend to pass on a message. If she did (which she did minutes after the police left her house) then she got a warning (which resulted in the police turning around and driving back to her house haha) then any further contact would result in court.

It was all very easy and stress free and that is coming from a guy trying to get shut of a girl with serious problems, i'd imagine it even easier for a girl to get rid of a guy as she will be more scared and intimidated.

I hope that has helped.
 
Paton said:
Just looking for some opinions on what to do in this situation i seem to be involved in.

Basically i got into a new relationship with my girlfriend around 3 months ago.

Just recently her ex boyfriend has been messaging her on Facebook from fake profiles as he is blocked, phoning, texting her that he wants her back and will do everything in his power to break us up etc.

These messages come in the form as to threatening to find where i live and kill me, so on and so fourth (the guy is not at all intimidating so i am not entirely concerened with these).

However when she refuses to respond to these messages and phonecalls he has starting saying he is going to turn up at her house and where she works to harrass her basically.

I work offshore so am not home until the middle of next month, so i am feeling a little helpless as i can't be there to comfort her or to protect her incase he might show up.

Oh and the ex just broke up with his current girlfriend who is pregnant so a classy guy to say the least!

What would you do in this situation? (Apart from the regular keyboard warrior responce!)
Click to expand...

Protection from Harassment Act 1997

Official Bill

Having dealt with many cases like this, you've definately got a case of Criminal Harassment on your hands, quite likely an Offence of Threats to Kill and also possibly one of Malicious Communications (dependant on the context of messages etc.).

Tell your Girlfriend to pop down the the Local Police Station to report the matter.

Secondly - there are ways to get free injunctions - The National Centre for Domestic Violence are your first port of call in respect of this. It sounds odd, but this is a Domestic, since the definition doesn't just restrict itself to current partners, it also includes previous partners.

The website for the NCDV can be found at

http://www.ncdv.org.uk/

They may or may not be able to help with injunctions in this case, but it is worth giving them a ring - if they cannot help they will know someone who will. They are a Charitable organisation and very very good at what they do.
 
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