Am I being unreasonable?

Theophany · 26 Jan 2013 at 22:46

So I moved out of my old flat in December and am finally getting the deposit back. My former flatmate and I originally paid £990 each as deposit, and we have been offered £890 back each after damages.

Now, after the traumas (which have been documented on GD), I decided to take the money and run instead of going through some long-winded dispute process. I ended up selling my prized possession (my car) to move into said flat and am desperate to recoup the money on the basis that the landlord is a vile person and the thought of him having my money for a second longer turns my stomach.

The £200 deducted from the deposit is mainly down to me. I put a few holes in the wall VESA mounting a screen.

Now, my former flatmate is giving me all manner of aggro for taking the money and running rather than reimbursing her desposit. Should you be so inclined to check the history documented on this forum you'd see I put up with all the stress of dealing with our landlord whilst she decided it was too much for her and retreated to her parents' house for the week whilst I lived in a flat with no heating or electricity and fought tooth and nail to get the problem sorted. I paid for the legal counsel and took time off work to ensure that the work got done, she contributed nothing.

This issue continued with every slight problem found at the property. I'd be the mug drafting several letters of complaint, whilst she'd be yapping about what cowboys they were, only to turn around at the point of action and say something to the effect of "well we don't want to make trouble." I have an entire plastic file of letters of complaint and the correspondence that followed it. In hindsight, I was the prat sat there getting wound up over these issues whilst she barked and never once bit.

As such, I've taken the viewpoint that I simply do not give two about her perceived rights to the money and and have ignored her pathologically. To the point that now I'm storing up a disturbing amount of bile, ready to turn around and tell her what a pathetic, passive aggressive, poor excuse for a human being she is.

So, GD, the money will be in my account on Monday morning. Should I chuck her a ton because I caused said damage, or should I stick to my guns and ignore her for all the nonsense I've had to deal with? I think I'm in the right here, but I'm ready to be convinced otherwise. I am fully aware I can act foolishly in situations like this where I feel I'm being hard done by and the external viewpoint may well stop me from doing something silly.

Inb4 boxing stance.

e: Original thread

Vita · 26 Jan 2013 at 22:52

Did you rent through a private landlord? How long was your AST? Did the LL put it in a DPS?

Why wasn't there any heating or electric? Was it bills inclusive or did you pay the bills separately to your rent?

EDIT: I've just seen your original thread. LL and Agents sound like a bunch of snakes. Don't even bother giving her any money. If you did all the leg work then why should you pay? This is the problem sharing flats seen and dealt with many times before. This is why when I do agreements I make sure they're liable for each others rent. Deposits on the other hand I let the DPS decide.

JIM_BOB7813 · 26 Jan 2013 at 22:54

Are you considering giving her £890, £990 or £0?

No1newts · 26 Jan 2013 at 22:58

Sorry you got £890 which was originally shared between you or you got 2 lots of £890, hers and yours?

Give her half at the end of the day you caused the damage etc and whilst you did take on the agro the lack of a full refund is ultimately your fault.

Biohazard · 26 Jan 2013 at 22:59

Ask yourself this; What would Thatcher do in this situation?

Showboat · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:01

Regardless of what happened during the tenancy, you caused damage, you need to pay for it. £100 is cheap, id be after a lot more.

Theophany · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:04

JIM_BOB7813 said:
Are you considering giving her £890, £990 or £0?

£100, which would essentially negate all of her liability.

No1newts said:
Sorry you got £890 which was originally shared between you or you got 2 lots of £890, hers and yours?

Give her half at the end of the day you caused the damage etc and whilst you did take on the agro the lack of a full refund is ultimately your fault.

We paid £1,980 (so £990 each) and have been offered £1,780 back (so £890 each). The total damages of £200 have been apportioned equally by the landlord.

Biohazard said:
Ask yourself this; What would Thatcher do in this situation?

Get re-elected.

Showboat said:
Regardless of what happened during the tenancy, you caused damage, you need to pay for it. £100 is cheap, id be after a lot more.

I don't give a toss about the money. It's the principle. She was desperate to move in, I said I'd help a friend in need out. It turned out that I was dealing with all the crap because I made the mistake of moving in with her.

teaboy5 · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:05

Showboat said:
Regardless of what happened during the tenancy, you caused damage, you need to pay for it. £100 is cheap, id be after a lot more.

A lot more for what? Putting some filler in 4 small holes?

Is this girl moving into the new flat with you?

If not and this is likely to cause hassle just giver her the money and be done with.

Diagro · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:07

Keep it all mate, if you paid for any legal stuff and she was useless then she should have none of it in my eyes

if you have any proof of stuff that you solely paid for but you both should have then deduct anything from that

aln · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:09

Split the difference give her an extra £50 from your share based on the assumption that you did more note worthy damage but not all of it. Whether or not you like the broad doesn't factor into what is and is not the right thing to do. The rest of it is just noise to me.

I went back and read part of the other topic and I think you are actually overreacting. Not that you shouldn't be annoyed, complain, and even end your tenacy over those things; you did get some fairly poor service overall.

But I wasn't there so it's hard to judge.

No1newts · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:09

You put up with the extra hassle but you caused the damage. Give her her share, you both lose out equally and can both be ****** off together. Her because you casued the damage, you because she didn't help out. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Salsa · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:11

If the damages are soley down to your actions then chuck her £100 and be done with it. After all the aggro and stress you have been through is it really worth going through more for the sake of an extra £100?

Chalk it up to experience and move on.

/Salsa

wedgie · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:22

Are people missing the point here?

OP is proposing he pockets £790 of her remaining deposit (as well as his £890 deposit), and gives her a total £100.

Or have I misread? :confused:

Theophany · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:24

wedgie said:
Are people missing the point here?

OP is proposing he pockets £790 of her remaining deposit (as well as his £890 deposit), and gives her a total £100.

Or have I misread?

You've misread pal.

I've transferred her £100. She's not out of pocket. I suppose I was out of order.

Spangles · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:27

Landlords can be swine's sometimes. Just have to accept it pretty much. Not worth all the hassle of attempting to get it sorted.

Rich_L · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:27

IMO offer to split the difference and give her back 940 so you get 840. It sucks but tell her that the LL said that 100 was down to the holes and 100 was other expenses which you are splitting.

I know principles and all but not worth fighting if you can just draw a line under it all.

*edit*

Wait wut you mean taking her half of the deposit? No bueno senor

Spangles · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:29

Rich_L said:
I know principles and all but not worth fighting if you can just draw a line under it all.

Do not draw the line on the wall. You will lose more money.

wedgie · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:29

Theophany said:
You've misread pal.

I've transferred her £100. She's not out of pocket. I suppose I was out of order.

Ah right, well for what it's worth I think you've probably arrived at the right decision.

As much as it can sting to be mugged off by what appears to be someone with few morals, it's usually better to not drop down to their level, even though it usually costs you in some way.

Pestilence · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:30

wedgie said:
Are people missing the point here?

OP is proposing he pockets £790 of her remaining deposit (as well as his £890 deposit), and gives her a total £100.

Or have I misread?

Re-reading, that actually seems like the intention?

If that's the case, OP -- that's not on. You split the reimbursed deposit amount 50/50, end of.

EDIT: Sorry, just saw the other updates.

I wouldn't have chucked her the extra £100, tbh, if I'd done all the legwork. But hey, at least it's all over now.

aln · 26 Jan 2013 at 23:32

Pestilence said:
Re-reading, that actually seems like the intention?

If that's the case, OP -- that's not on. You split the reimbursed deposit amount 50/50, end of.

I'm pretty sure the OP intends to give her half, being thats her half, but is asking whether he should give an additional £100 on the basis that "he caused most of the damage" as that would eliminate any loss on her part. A few posts up he states he gave her the additional £100, so presumably £990 out of £1780, meaning he's out £200.