So at work today I saw an epic example of inadvertent "Open mouth, insert foot!" Oh dear.

One of my colleagues was punched by the cleaner at our old office due to asking her when she was due ... he should have known that she was just a rather large lady ...
 
I was talking with a friend some years ago when a mutual acquaintenance approached and asked when it was due to which the former responded aggressively "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." The fact that she had gone through years of unsuccessful IVF meant that the question grated somewhat.

Worse though was visiting my in-laws in Manchester with my then very young eldest son. At the time - probably 12 years ago - Jersey had next to no ethnic minority residents, so for a youngster to be thrust into a sea of different races was quite an experience. We were queuing in a shop behind a particularly large lady of Afro-Caribbean decent at which point my son, in his pushchair, put on a horrified expression, pointed at the lady and shouted "BLACK" at the top of his voice. We left swiftly.
 
I did it once as a kid, I forget where I was but I was with my Mum somewhere and there was a woman with a VERY deep voice, my Mum wish the ground would openup and swallow her when I said "Why does that woman sound like a man?"
 
"By the way...you KNOW how to keep a secret dont you?! You never told me you were expecting!!!! How exciting!"

"Im.....not......pregnant"

"SO WHY DO YOU HAVE A BIG FAT BABY IN YOUR TUMMY? HUH? IS THIS FUNNY TO YOU? DO I MAKE YOU LAUGH? YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU BABY HAVER."
 
Sat round a table at a large family lunch, I once asked my aunt "how come you've got a moustache". At the time I couldn't understand the looks of horror on some faces whilst others were struggling to hold back laughter. She still hates me 30+ years later.
 
The thing that annoys me, is due to the above mentioned scenarios when holding back on assuming a women is pregnant, you get people or the pregnant women themselves say something along the lines of "well of course I'm pregnant dur, I wouldn't have a belly like this if I was would I!?" almost offended like. It's like we can't win sometimes.

I've deliberately held back on mentioning it to women I have seen in the work place because it's just sods law, the day you let your guard down and just assume, it could be massively offensive and embarrassing for all parties involved if you mistakenly guess a pregnant women who is not. I will even not mention it on women that look very obviously pregnant I'm so paranoid. If their belly pinned me up against a corridor wall when trying to pass I think I'd still try to ignore it and wait until they said something.
 
Behemoth said:
I did it once as a kid, I forget where I was but I was with my Mum somewhere and there was a woman with a VERY deep voice, my Mum wish the ground would openup and swallow her when I said "Why does that woman sound like a man?"
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DanielMMS said:
Sat round a table at a large family lunch, I once asked my aunt "how come you've got a moustache". At the time I couldn't understand the looks of horror on some faces whilst others were struggling to hold back laughter. She still hates me 30+ years later.
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But this is why kids are great. You can ask them for genuine opinions on stuff because they do not over think things. They often do not consider of understand things that might be offensive to someone.
When I was a child I asked my Mum loud in a lift why a man in a wheelchair had no legs. My Mum said she could have swung for me, but as it happened the disabled guy turned around and told me, and was really nice about it. I think I'd prefer more honesty in this world. People are offended too easily.
 
Lol at hi-speed. Scrubs fans will know what I mean when I say I imagined a scenario from the show based around Op's experience :p
 
In a queue for a slide at a water park with my sister and mum when I was about 8. Lady infront of us lifted her arms to reveal a mass amount of armpit hair. This promted me to turn around to my mum and ask 'mum, why does that lady have so much hair under her arms, only men are meant to have that much'
 
jaybee said:
But this is why kids are great. You can ask them for genuine opinions on stuff because they do not over think things. They often do not consider of understand things that might be offensive to someone.
When I was a child I asked my Mum loud in a lift why a man in a wheelchair had no legs. My Mum said she could have swung for me, but as it happened the disabled guy turned around and told me, and was really nice about it. I think I'd prefer more honesty in this world. People are offended too easily.
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I agree 100%
 
Happened to a work sales collegue during a conference in the states. The only problem was that he popped the question on the 40th floor as the doors closed on the elevator on the way to breakfast at on the 2nd floor :)

I was ****ing myself trying not to laugh as the 3 of us travelled down in silence.

Best part, she turned out to be the customer lead on a major account he was assigned later that day :D
 
Here's a couple of my favourite foot in mouth moments

Stephen Fry calls Sue Perkins "Mel" (her comedy partner) on Qi

But nothing can top Dappy thinking Martha Wainwright is Cerys Matthews (1 min 45 secs)
 
A mate of mine was at a train station and he asked him why one of the people was waiting for the trakn was black. Apparently the guy was really good about it and they had a chat and tried to explain it to his son.

Probably quite good as the kid now knows about it and will be educated about it, unlike some of these wonderfully stupid people who we have the displeasure of shareing our nation with.
 
Two incidents leap to my mind.
Firstly, my son goes to an after-school club operated by a black woman but managed day-to-day by a white woman. Thus, my son has never met the black woman but she was aware of Ryan. I had met her though. Fast forward to one day when I pick up my son and we walk out and bump into her. We say hi and she says hello to Ryan (by name). Ryan turns to me and says "Daddy, how does this African know my name?". It turns out they'd just spent a day doing some geography work aout Africa and he'd kind of assumed black = African. Luckily she laughed and thought it was hysterical/cute.

The other incident actually involves one man and two separate occasions. We were on holiday in Greece and around the pool was a VERY fat, bald man who would get up every so often and waddle from his sun-lounger to the bar. On one occassion, as he goes past Ryan, my dear son pipes up with "Dad, why does that man have boobs?" I was in the pool at the time and nearly drowned from a mixture of trying to hide beneath the water and convulsive laughter. Worse was to follow the day later when, out of the blue and while I watched, Ryan licked his fat, sweaty head. Luckily the guy didn't seem to notice. To this day it makes me tear up with laughter to remember it. Especially when I remember Ryan's response to the question of "Why did you do that?!" which was "I don't really know" in that 'does this really matter at all?' way that kids have.
 
worked in Asda after I left school...

Noticed a guy standing looking at some stuff for a while to wandered over and asked if he needed a hand. Turning round to face me only then did I realise he was missing an arm from the elbow.

He evidently read the expression on my face and just wet himself laughing. Patted me on the back with his other arm and asked where he could find some split peas!
 
Dis86 said:
worked in Asda after I left school...

Noticed a guy standing looking at some stuff for a while to wandered over and asked if he needed a hand. Turning round to face me only then did I realise he was missing an arm from the elbow.

He evidently read the expression on my face and just wet himself laughing. Patted me on the back with his other arm and asked where he could find some split peas!
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Brilliant.:D
 
At an old job one of the people in my team got taken in to speak to the managers, it was all very sudden and no one knew why. After he comes out one of the guy's in my team said as a joke "Is that you finally been pulled up for your stinky attitude?"

Turns out he had been taken in and spoken to about his body odor at work. The guy's face just dropped.
 
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