Living with an other half who owns the house

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Matthew.M

Matthew.M

Matthew.M

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Well we're arguing, so naturally - Quick, to the internet!

What's the etiquette/norm here?

A couple (not married), one person owns the house on a mortgage, looking to live together but obviously one person isn't named on the mortgage at all.

Do you:
A). The home owner pays all the mortgage as before and you just split the bills
B). Split the interest cost portion of the mortgage payments 50/50 so the non-named person isn't paying any capital (and also split the bills on-top of this)
C). Split the lot.

It's probably not hard to work out that I own the house and my girlfriend is fighting for A. My argument is that if we were renting we would be splitting it 50/50 anyway and we should do B), but in this case we're both benefiting from the much cheaper rates compared to renting and the interest cost of the mortgage is still "dead" money so she's not lining my pockets, it's essentially rent.

People of OcUK - Help! I've no idea what people normally do in this situation, anyone been in a similar position? What did you settle on?

(She's also saying something about if she contributes anything to the mortgage she will have an interest in the house, but that's another thing entirely and something I'll have to research).
 
Matthew.M said:
Well we're arguing, so naturally - Quick, to the internet!

What's the etiquette/norm here?

A couple (not married), one person owns the house on a mortgage, looking to live together but obviously one person isn't named on the mortgage at all.

Do you:
A). The home owner pays all the mortgage as before and you just split the bills
B). Split the interest cost portion of the mortgage payments 50/50 so the non-named person isn't paying any capital (and also split the bills on-top of this)
C). Split the lot.

It's probably not hard to work out that I own the house and my girlfriend is fighting for A. My argument is that if we were renting we would be splitting it 50/50 anyway and we should do B), but in this case we're both benefiting from the much cheaper rates compared to renting and the interest cost of the mortgage is still "dead" money so she's not lining my pockets, it's essentially rent.

People of OcUK - Help! I've no idea what people normally do in this situation, anyone been in a similar position? What did you settle on?

(She's also saying something about if she contributes anything to the mortgage she will have an interest in the house, but that's another thing entirely and something I'll have to research).
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I moved a girl into my house. We agreed 50% of gas, elect, tv channels and food. The rest was my responsibility as it was my house. It didn't work out but at least I didn't feel like I owed her anything.

If you make her pay more, I believe she'll be entitled to part of your house should you split up. Also it's your girlfriend man, lighten up. :p
 
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So by her logic if someone owns a house and rents out a room the renter has a interest in the house? I think not.......

Just say you want some help towards paying the mortgage, ie a small amount of rent. I guess it also depends whether you would otherwise have lodger to help with the mortgage if she wasn't moving in?
 
Going on 3 years, so it's quite serious!

My financials are pretty good, I certainly wouldn't have a lodger and have been running more expensive places than this before by myself. But I've always had the expectation that if someone lived with me they would contribute *something*.
 
D). The mortgage payer pays the mortgage, the renter pays the monthly bills up to the monthly mortgage repayment, anything over is split.

If renter is reluctant to pay what's a fair share then you need to implement E). -
The mortgage payer sacks renter and acquires a different one who's prepared to pay their way, must be fitter than last renter by the way.
 
alx said:
So by her logic if someone owns a house and rents out a room the renter has a interest in the house? I think not.......

Just say you want some help towards paying the mortgage, ie a small amount of rent. I guess it also depends whether you would otherwise have lodger to help with the mortgage if she wasn't moving in?
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No, by her logic, she is his girlfriend, not a lodger. Seriously, he'll be saving money with her moving in anyway. It's mad to be having this argument.

Unlike married couples, unmarried couples have no basic rights to their partner's property or to maintenance if they split up. Basically what is his is his, what is hers is hers, and what is jointly-owned needs to be divided.

If a house is bought in joint names, it should be split accordingly on separation, and either party can force a sale of the property to realise their share. If the parties are contributing unequally to the purchase price, or to payments on the property, for example if he is paying 70% and she is paying 30%, this should be reflected in the amounts they take away with them.

If the property is in the sole name of one party, it remains that person's property on separation, unless the other party can establish that there was an intention that they would be entitled to a share in the property. Proving this can cause much stress, expense and frustration.
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Most woman will walk away but if you split up after a few years then she'll be able to argue that as she was contributing there was the intention she is entitled to a share.

You've been together for 3 years, if you really think she's the one and want her to pay half, stick her name on the mortgage. If you split up, she'll only be entitled to what she's paid anyway.
 
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The person with the mortgage rents space out in his house to the person to an agreed upon amount.

When I had a live in girlfriend she paid me £200 a month and we split the bills to give you an idea. You have to think about wear and tear on the house when 2 people live in it on top of other things.
 
aln said:
The rest was my responsibility as it was my house. It didn't work out but at least I didn't feel like I owed her anything.
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No, she owed you for living rent free. :p

If it wasn't for my deposit we would have to pay rent which would definitely be split 50/50. The fact that it's so much cheaper is already a big benefit.


aln said:
No, by her logic, she is his girlfriend, not a lodger. Seriously, he'll be saving money with her moving in anyway. It's mad to be having this argument.
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Interesting, that's almost exactly what she says.
 
Matthew.M said:
No, she owed you for living rent free. :p

If it wasn't for my deposit we would have to pay rent which would definitely be split 50/50. The fact that it's so much cheaper is already a big benefit.
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My ex wanted on the mortgage and to pay half. I specifically did not want this as I wanted the property to remain my regardless of what happens in the future besides marriage.

Matthew.M said:
Interesting, that's almost exactly what she says.
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Dude, if your girlfriend is hot, give her my number. Tell her I'll treat her good. :)
 
[FnG]magnolia;23716791 said:
Do you often argue about money? How long have you been living together? Have you been having second thoughts about the relationship?
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For the past 2 years she hasn't had any income so I've usually paid for everything - holidays, rent, meals out etc... We've previously lived together in a flat. This has all been on the understanding that she doesn't have to pay anything back and I've done this because she can't pay, I guess we haven't spoken about when she gets a job which is why this has come up now (she's currently applying for things).

I'm very much a "hope for the best" and she's a "plan for the worst". So all she can see in this situation is the money spent if we break up down the line.

HardwareGeek said:
waits for mrs to present op with a bill for 'services rendered' :)
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If I was paying for it she would do what she's told ;)
 
Split everything 50/50. Isn't the idea of moving in together mean to make things cheaper for all parties? If you're moving in together then things must be serious. If you end up going further will she still just be splitting the bills? If you got married would you then split things? Would she only be entitled in your mind to the capital that she pays off?
 
Saying all that, I assumed that she might have an income. If there's no income and no job, then she becomes a housewife and pays in other ways ;)
 
tom_nieto said:
Split everything 50/50. Isn't the idea of moving in together mean to make things cheaper for all parties? If you're moving in together then things must be serious. If you end up going further will she still just be splitting the bills? If you got married would you then split things? Would she only be entitled in your mind to the capital that she pays off?
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This.

If you're moving in together, split everything 50/50, in my eyes a marriage is two names on a piece of paper (I'm going to get a lot of **** for this), if its serious then what is stopping you?
 
I am familiar with this issue and unfortunately these arguments do not go away.

50/50 doesn't work unless you have equal or similar incomes.
 
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