Dealing with the prospect of becoming a parent
- Thread starter Frozennova
- Start date
Ahhh..memories...
I was at almost the same place 20 years ago with the wife (she was just a woman I fancied a bit back then). I have 3 now with my eldest 19. Having kids will show up any cracks in a relationship, that's for sure. Hopefully you'll grow closer as a result, as we did. Ultimately, it's a dice roll.
Enjoy the rollercoaster
I was at almost the same place 20 years ago with the wife (she was just a woman I fancied a bit back then). I have 3 now with my eldest 19. Having kids will show up any cracks in a relationship, that's for sure. Hopefully you'll grow closer as a result, as we did. Ultimately, it's a dice roll.
Enjoy the rollercoaster
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Plenty of people at our age just fine, and don't worry I'm not going anywhere this is my flesh and blood we're talking about.
Wow, one of the biggest decisions of your life and your making it based on it being thrust upon you, rather than until you both decide you are ready. Very brave and all, but that's definitely not the decision I would be making.
Good luck.
Plenty of people have children without the conception being planned for. This doesn't mean you are not ready. :-S
Soldato
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OP is raw hero.
Hehe, gotta agree with this - doesn't matter how bad a day I've had, when I get home from and my little boy comes running to the door with a massive grin on his face, nothing else matters
This is true - my partner and I had a few rough spots during the pregnancy and early couple of months, but I think that was just exhaustion more than anything else! Now we're closer than ever
I'd be willing to bet money that more than 50% of pregnancies are unplanned and... not sure if "unwanted" is the right word - more like not in ideal circumstances.
Congrats. Hell of a way to find out and I bet it was a shock. Being a parent is both the worst and the best thing in the world. I would never change it thought. I love my kids so, so much. I honestly didn't know I could love anyone this much.
It is still early days and not all pregnancies are successful - that's why most people don't tell others until after 3 months or so.
It is never the right time - financially or otherwise. But in hindsight I think I would have preferred children younger than I had them. That's because you get it over with and are still young enough to have energy and play with them. I was in my late 30's when I became a dad and it is tiring and a shock to the system going back to "poverty" after I'd got used to having a reasonable amount of money.
It is still early days and not all pregnancies are successful - that's why most people don't tell others until after 3 months or so.
It is never the right time - financially or otherwise. But in hindsight I think I would have preferred children younger than I had them. That's because you get it over with and are still young enough to have energy and play with them. I was in my late 30's when I became a dad and it is tiring and a shock to the system going back to "poverty" after I'd got used to having a reasonable amount of money.
OP when my wife told me she was preggers I genuinely didn't know whether I was happy or not. We had been wanting a child for a while but actually finding out you are going to be a dad is still a shock. After a few days though I was getting properly excited, seemed to need time to sink in and to be perfectly honest as a guy who was never sure if he wanted kids or not I'm a total convert. My daughter means the world to me, nothing ever stresses me out now as I know I have a family of my own to go home to.
Financially it's never a good time, but you can minimise costs. Charity shops for starters tend to have nearly new (or brand new) stuff people didn't want, friends/family will pour gifts on you - so try to make sure they don't all give you the same thing and make sure you get your girlfriend to look into boots/tesco baby club points etc as they can save an absolute fortune and actually get you tons of freebies. We didn't have to buy a nappy for our daughter until she was 8 months old due to the number of free packs we got from various sources.
Enjoy it, make sure you are there for the birth, it's completely mind blowing I wish I'd been a dad younger (was 35 when she was born) but back in my twenties I would have laughed at the idea, but in the long term it's probably better.
Financially it's never a good time, but you can minimise costs. Charity shops for starters tend to have nearly new (or brand new) stuff people didn't want, friends/family will pour gifts on you - so try to make sure they don't all give you the same thing and make sure you get your girlfriend to look into boots/tesco baby club points etc as they can save an absolute fortune and actually get you tons of freebies. We didn't have to buy a nappy for our daughter until she was 8 months old due to the number of free packs we got from various sources.
Enjoy it, make sure you are there for the birth, it's completely mind blowing
I wish I'd been a dad younger (was 35 when she was born) but back in my twenties I would have laughed at the idea, but in the long term it's probably better.Are we talking about the thread or your missus here?
A good piece of advice given to me was "All they need is love". It really doesn't matter whether you can afford the latest and greatest stuff for them, all ther need, especially in the early years, is someone to be there for them and to love them.
Congrats - it's tough, it's hard, but look at this way. If you changed your mind and decide not to go forward, then it's a decision you may regret for the rest of your life. Something might happen in the future and you might not be able to have kids so taking the chance now, whilst it may be very hard, is a great choice.
Good luck, enjoy it, hope it goes well.
Also you'd be amazed at the amount of women on the pill that get pregnant. My missus is a midwife and she says that at least 1 in 5 women who come in say "I was on the pill but......."
All the best - great times ahead!!!
Good luck, enjoy it, hope it goes well.
Also you'd be amazed at the amount of women on the pill that get pregnant. My missus is a midwife and she says that at least 1 in 5 women who come in say "I was on the pill but......."
All the best - great times ahead!!!
Don
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Great stuff
Mine is nearly 7 weeks old now! Enjoy being young when you have your kids!! I am 29 and wish I had mine earlier You will be able to keep up better, cope with lack of sleep better and be a Super-dad!
You never "feel" ready, but you do cope. The first few weeks will be tough, but they soon fade, and it settles into something like a routine. The daily changes keep you entertained and I find myself rushing home after work to see the latest progress!!
Congrats!
Mine is nearly 7 weeks old now! Enjoy being young when you have your kids!! I am 29 and wish I had mine earlier
You will be able to keep up better, cope with lack of sleep better and be a Super-dad!You never "feel" ready, but you do cope. The first few weeks will be tough, but they soon fade, and it settles into something like a routine. The daily changes keep you entertained and I find myself rushing home after work to see the latest progress!!
Congrats!
2 things....
1. When baby is born, take a photo of the child every monday for a year then stick 52 photo's in an album for later on....amazing to see how baby changes
2. When baby sleeps, YOU SLEEP. Even if it is during the day. Sod the cleaning and washing for a while. Believe me you'll rather sleep than do a couple of plates in the sink.
1. When baby is born, take a photo of the child every monday for a year then stick 52 photo's in an album for later on....amazing to see how baby changes
2. When baby sleeps, YOU SLEEP. Even if it is during the day. Sod the cleaning and washing for a while. Believe me you'll rather sleep than do a couple of plates in the sink.