money in relationships

Set amount each month into a joint account. Rent, food, bills, furniture etc come out of this account.

Otherwise mostly separate as we disagree on what disposable income should be spent on. Going ok at the 5 year mark, so seems to work.

so im not the only one who's wife disagrees on what to spend money on.
 
so im not the only one who's wife disagrees on what to spend money on.

No, of course not. I'm sure everyone disagrees at some point, it's how you handle that disagreement that is important.

If she's dead against me purchasing something that costs a lot I won't do.
 
I think the conception in the OP works, until one person earns far less/basically has no disposable income after costs are split... or if kids are involved. Obviously the OP's married, with a kid, so some consideration has to be made for her - eg. is one parent working less, in order to look after said kid? Is money being put aside for said kid? Etc.

i actually earn less per month plus have more bills (gym, petrol (her company pays her petrol))

every 3 months i get a bonus which ends up going into the joint account or pays off the cred card.

anything our little one needs comes out of our joint account. we work the same hours.
 
No, of course not. I'm sure everyone disagrees at some point, it's how you handle that disagreement that is important.

If she's dead against me purchasing something that costs a lot I won't do.

Same. I've been eying up some new front speakers for a while, but they're like over a grand and we have other "priorities" (read: she does) so I figure, they can wait.

Buying watches is easier to get delivered to work :D
 
It doesn't really matter how you do it, just that you both have respect for each other and accept you're allowed to spend some of the money you've earned on things you like. You might get some preachy people telling you their way is the only one true way to be in a relationship but really they're just *****.

For me, I'd personally prefer to keep some back and that's what I'd use to buy toys or surprises for the Mrs. If married, this amount would probably be significantly lower than the amount I shared over and above what was actually required for bills. Couples need to save but I imagine when you're married to someone you stop caring about who pays more as long as you're allowed to buy what you want (within reason).

That said, I'm not married so incoming people telling me I'm not allowed an opinion? :)
 
Myself and the GF both had our own personal accounts and a share account that all the bills came out of, If any additional cash was required I put it in the account most of the time without her knowing about it as I earned more so had more disposable income.

Now as we are buying a house we have moved to a full shared account that we transfer £150 a month each to our own accounts for anything extra we want to spend money on I.E PC parts or handbags (Both for me of course)
 
That said, I'm not married so incoming people telling me I'm not allowed an opinion? :)

:confused:

Everyone is allowed an opinion (and generally have one)

That said it does make a huge difference when kids are involved.
 
I generally buy whatever I want, but I normally talk with her about things I'm going to buy anyway before I'v bought them. She has never complained and normally encourages me to buy things lol.
 
we have a joint account, it all goes in, we sit down at the end of every month and do our budget and pay all bills. some is put into a saving account then the rest spent on everyday things like coffee and food out etc.

anything big is discussed before buying.
 
We both have our own accounts and we both handle separate parts of the outgoings (one does rent, the other does utilities etc). What free money we have after paying bills is our own.
 
Joint account where we pay enough to cover all bills and food along with some extra over and above. This extra is used to pay for anything else house wise, birthday gifts, decorating etc etc. but we both keep our own accounts and own disposable income, if we get married we'll probably switch to just one joint account though.


Works quite well, we always have enough in joint account for whatever we need.
 
:confused:

Everyone is allowed an opinion (and generally have one)

That said it does make a huge difference when kids are involved.

Course it makes a difference. A man who decides to have kids with a woman then expects her to stay at home, raise them and have no money, is a ridiculous example of a man.

To the other point this is a common thread and I'm frequently told if you don't have kids and you're not married then you don't know what you're talking about. Preemptive **** off for them guys. :)

Like I said though, it's down to what works for you.
 
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At the moment whatever left over income we have goes into the pot for our rent/furniture as we've just moved out.

Most likely we will put some aside every month after rent/expenses for savings and have a little left over thats ours.
 
[Damien];23813788 said:
We both have our own accounts and we both handle separate parts of the outgoings (one does rent, the other does utilities etc). What free money we have after paying bills is our own.

Pretty much how me and the missus do things money wise as well...works out well for us, she has her money to buy her things and i have mine altho she likes to use my money to buy things too:p
 
Course it makes a difference. A man who decides to have kids with a woman then expects her to stay at home, raise them and have no money, is a ridiculous example of a man.

What about the other end of the scale, the woman "decides" to be a stay at home Mum and the Man has no choice and is forced to go out to work long hours and pay for everything...

It's not always so clear cut is all I am saying. :)
 
Everything goes in and everything goes out of the same joint account and it has been like that pretty much since we moved in together 18 years back.
 
Doesn't sound like a marriage with mutual respect tbh. My wife and I have shared all of our finances since becoming engaged.

As Gilly said, our money is ours to spend - no tit-for-tat over who owes what.

Absolute nonsense, we share the bills, we have joint savings but we also have our own money. Having been together for what will be 17 years this year, I think we know what suits us
 
What about the other end of the scale, the woman "decides" to be a stay at home Mum and the Man has no choice and is forced to go out to work long hours and pay for everything...

It's not always so clear cut is all I am saying. :)

No, I agree with you there too.

The idea that you don't discuss these things before deciding to have kids bothers me somewhat, however many people have stated "you don't talk about those types of things before having kids".

Personally I think woman doing the suprise pregnancy thing plays at least part of them having terrible support from their man, but I'd hazard a guess those relationships don't often last and these woman are mental.

I actually had a girlfriend who said "if you asked me to marry you I would" and "Lets make a baby now". I told her I wasn't ready and she then proceeded to forget to take her pills on a regular basis. Insta-death to my sex drive. :p
 
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Put money to cover bills, expenses, food, joint savings in a mutual pot.

The rest, personal savings, and personal expenditure (i.e. for our own use). If we feel we need more in the joint account, we factor accordingly. It's about communication.
 
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