money in relationships

We have a joint account for bills and essentials, but we manage our own disposable income.

If we want something individually and can help each other out, then we do.

We're a couple that are relatively independent of each other and so having all our money in one pot doesn't suit us.
 
Wink said:
Same here.

I really have no idea why people in long term committed relationships keep their money 'separate' from each others. Baffles me.
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Even if we did go that route - I'd still want my own personal account for syphoning money for my own things/presents/surprises or ventures which would be unfair to get her to pay for as well.

As long as you have enough to cover all the expenses/bills/mortgage/savings/food/petrol/etc... that are needed, plus maybe extra cash in there for joint holidays and so on - the rest is just disposable income - why not just keep it for yourself? Ultimately it doesn't matter where the money is does it?
 
Gayjin said:
We have a joint account for bills and essentials, but we manage our own disposable income.

If we want something individually and can help each other out, then we do.

We're a couple that are relatively independent of each other and so having all our money in one pot doesn't suit us.
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Seems sensible. You wouldn't want all your money going on Crossfit, and she wouldn't want it on gadgets and cars! :D
 
SpeedFreak said:
She's a teacher, I'm an accountant so I get that to a degree with her holidays but there are some inequalities that you just have to accept. I do my best for her and my daughter and she does the same, that's all anyone can ask for really.
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Yeah but thats backwards mate. I'm totally hypocritical on the subject. I've supported girlfriends in the past and would be all to willing to do it with my wife, obviously.

What I'm saying is you turn the tables and I just won't feel right about it, especially if my lower earnings are via choice. I work hard now because I don't really want to be killing myself when I'm older. I intend to chill out later in life and I don't want to give too much thought into that.

Thats just my response to the guy who said he didn't get it. Like I said, its probably a personality fault, but it's totally about me having complete freedom whilst maintaining the ability to chip in my share. Basically I'm just planning for the mid life crises. :p
 
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Ive always just spent my own how I pleased. But if I was in a serious situation now with outgoings etc. I think I would say that we both put say 10% for bills, and 20% for savings and whatnot.

That way it doesnt matter so much what the person earns. Its just a percentage and its pretty fair.
 
joelk2 said:
so do your other half's question what you buy?
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No not at all she just gives me that look they give then I spend the next hour talking about my latest toy. :D

She even used to sit through me explaining how I pawned noobs on BF2 & understood my fear of helicopters.:p
 
Wink said:
Same here.

I really have no idea why people in long term committed relationships keep their money 'separate' from each others. Baffles me.
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But not them.

It's something that each couple has to work out for themselves. What matters is that they're both content with the arrangement, not what the arrangement is.
 
I can see the point of splitting perhaps in a relationship with no kids.. but to be frank once your a family unit money is just one of many things that each party contributes..

I earn maybe 20 times what my misses does.. but she does a lot more with the kids and around the house.. at the end of the day a successful relationship / family is both parties mucking in and contributing where they can.. you start to get possessive over money or this or that then its going to cause arguments..

Be respectful towards one another, communicate and you will have a much easier time of it..
 
Angilion said:
But not them.

It's something that each couple has to work out for themselves. What matters is that they're both content with the arrangement, not what the arrangement is.
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Exactly, there isn't anything that's baffling at all and it doesn't make either method have more or less respect for each other.
 
arknor said:
A lot of women live by "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine"
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This pretty much I think

I don't buy stuff all that often anyways, we're saving at the moment for a holiday but its nothing extravagant so doesn't require much saving.

After this were saving to move house. We've owned for the last 3 years but want something older (bigger) as we bought new.

I will no doubt be able to talk her around with the pc.
 
joelk2 said:
This pretty much I think

I don't buy stuff all that often anyways, we're saving at the moment for a holiday but its nothing extravagant so doesn't require much saving.

After this were saving to move house. We've owned for the last 3 years but want something older (bigger) as we bought new.

I will no doubt be able to talk her around with the pc.
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For arguments sake, whats your spec?
 
Wink said:
Same here.

I really have no idea why people in long term committed relationships keep their money 'separate' from each others. Baffles me.
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We have this same thread every few months it seems.

For us it makes a lot more practical sense to have three accounts, a joint one for all our outgoings and two separate ones for frivolous purchases. There is nothing 'hidden' from each other but when we're going through our bank accounts during a quiet moment at work it's a lot easier if you know exactly what you've spent and that is all you are seeing on the screen. Having a joint account where everything comes out of the same pot means you'll probably have to spend an evening together going through statements to check they are all legit. I'd rather spend that evening doing something more interesting.

I actually find comments like yours more telling - do you really place financial arrangements that high up on your list of how committed your relationship is? It's almost like you don't trust each other or feel insecure without that financial bond which is a bit sad.
 
Any disposable income is used towards the 'breast enhancement fund'. She has a tidy set, but come on.. we mod our PC's so why stop at that? :D
 
The way it works in our house. I earn, she earns very little (mainly housewife duties bringing up children currently). Despite this, I see my money as her money. I spend more on her and the kids than myself. If ever I have wanted anything, I don't ask (unless a big purchase where I will discuss), I just buy. :) If she wants something I generally don't question either and just get it for her. I also buy her clothes etc and generally spoil her as much as possible (you know, once a year at xmas?) ;) All of my stuff I get delivered to work so she sees less of it. ;) But honestly I have nothing to hide anyway really.
 
Seperate bank accounts, one joint account for the bills and a extra sum put in for a food. Then a seperate saving account for holidays/emergencys shizzle.

What is left over i spend how i please and she spends how she pleases works for us 13 years together now.
 
We have our own bank accounts plus a joint bank account(which is empty as we never use it). She pays the Mortgage and I pay for everything else bill wise. We buy what we want when we want and do not really consult with each other with what we are buying. Expensive things we choose together and pay with the card that is closest to hand. :)
 
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