Hate Being So Lonely!

StoneColdJoe

StoneColdJoe

StoneColdJoe

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Joined
12 Mar 2013
Posts
34
No real friends, no job, just a rubbish little bed-sit. Always skint, no qualifications etc... Takes it's toll. I can cope with most things, but being alone 24/7 is hard work now. I like my own space, but even at the tender age of 25 i have this daunting feeling i will die alone. My health is pretty rubbish, not overweight, but drink, smoke and gamble too much (no wonder i'm always skint) People can judge, but in reality them 'bad' things are 'happiness' chasing activity's. Yet i've already learnt none of the 3 work in the long run, just make things worse!

I feel bad for feeling bad, as millions in this world are a lot more worse off. But still, i really can't help feeling so awful all the time.

I'm beginning to think NAS was right - "life's a ***** and then you die"


Sorry, just a little rant lol, lost in the moment i guess. I know i'm feeling sorry for myself (which i hate).

Just wondered if anyone else is in a simular position atm? Or been there and got out, made a success for change?
 
*waits the inevitable theres always jobs at mcdonalds brigade*

Does sound like you need a job tho to turn that all around.
 
Make a change then if your not happy, put some shoes on & go for a walk for a start, get out & breath in some air, if you sit & do nothing then nothing will ever change.
 
At the end of the day bud you're the only one who can sort it out. Just think to yourself that you're going to get up in the morning. quit drinking. smoking etc go get a part time job and get the ball rolling it doesn't have to be much but its a start.
 
RizZy said:
Make a change then if your not happy, put some shoes on & go for a walk for a start, get out & breath in some air, if you sit & do nothing then nothing will ever change.
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Sometimes tho the first step is the hardest step of all. I've been there - had everything going for me then was made redundant and things slid downhill ended up with no job prospects, miles away from all my friends, etc. etc. only because I had the chance to move back to my parents where I found another job pretty quickly that I managed to pick things back up again.
 
Been there in spades.

Its bloody tough, but you have to realise that humans are like chickens, and you're the c0ckerel. You've got to go to them.

To that end stop smoking and gambling with immediate effect. Cut down your drinking, and get running or exercising.

It won't change your life, but it sure will put you on the right path.

Next step, at the age of 25, you've missed the "I'm skipping university to climb up the ladder time", so I would definitely recommend getting qualifications and getting into university.

It will expand your social circle enormously and give you time to think about what you want to do.

Good luck bro. :)
 
Nip the gambling in the head first. It'll suck the life essence out of you and leave you so skint you can't do anything but sit in anyway. From previous experience gambling it's not good and when you don't...you (or I did) feel SO much better. Plus you have money to go out and do stuff with.
 
StoneColdJoe said:
It's easier said than done when you have no one (apart from usless family)

Drinking, gambling, smoking = comfort to me, sad but true!
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Its not a comfort to you, its the only thing that breaks up the monotony of your day. I used to be the same. I would drink FAR to much, not attend anything and would play endless bloody video games.

I thought I was living the life, but in retrospect, I was just a deeply unhappy individual. But if I didn't have the video games and the binge drinking, then I literally had NOTHING left, sad as that sounds.

I would say its a protective act, because you really look over abysses when you've got nothing else to do!

Give them up and FORCE yourself to do something new. You can look back at when you're 18, and lament, but I GUARANTEE you that you'll look back with more regret on the rest of your twenties.

You've got time to turn it around.
 
Hi joe. Sorry to hear about ur issues, life is indeed a series of ups and downs and therrs akways something around the corner to change it in either direction. ! I do symapathise but like others have said look at correcting the little things day by day and ur slowly see things cahnge. Getting a job is super important and even part time work from a temp agency can improve ur confidence ten fold and get u back on ur feet.
 
I don't get motivated easy though, if you've been your know - wake up in the morning, shut the world off, easy done, but bloody hard to get out of!

Tbh it all went **** when i split up with my gf 18 months ago, i got depressed and so on, and even though i'm over her, i've never really got out of this awful rut.
 
Pick one of the three to drop first.

Don't try to do all of them at once (gambling I'd reccomend)

Perhaps try some online dating?, get out the house - join a local club?, can you play any instruments (if so look for a band local band?)

A job is a good way to meet people, even some random office job & start low & work up if you lack exerience.
 
Yo sir need to join one of those social gathering sites where they do events in your area. This girl at work who was new to manchester joined and she made a few now close friends. Look into it.
 
StoneColdJoe said:
I don't get motivated easy though, if you've been your know - wake up in the morning, shut the world off, easy done, but bloody hard to get out of!

Tbh it all went **** when i split up with my gf 18 months ago, i got depressed and so on, and even though i'm over her, i've never really got out of this awful rut.
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Depression is easy to get to,especially over splits but at 18mnths its about time to motivate yourself to do something about it .
 
arctine said:
The bottom line is that you need to get off your fat arse and do something about it.

You're 25.
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He said his not fat?

End of the day bud only you can make the changes in your life otherwise you will be dying alone. Don't quit all three at once but stop the gambling first, then start on the smoking or drinking and start looking for a job.
 
StoneColdJoe said:
I don't get motivated easy though, if you've been your know - wake up in the morning, shut the world off, easy done, but bloody hard to get out of!

Tbh it all went **** when i split up with my gf 18 months ago, i got depressed and so on, and even though i'm over her, i've never really got out of this awful rut.
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No, it wasn't your girlfriend, that was just a compounding issue. Was life REALLY that great with her, as it didn't get you onto a good path.

Its sooooooooooooooo hard getting over someone though, and I think we ALL fear and hate the silence that comes after the noise of a relationship (good or bad).

Use this to motivate yourself:

1- You can **** around a few more years, harming your body, losing opportunities both financially, personally and in relationships.

2- You can accept that you're in a really tough position, and merely adopting new habits and picking yourself up won't provide instant results....................but it MIGHT do so. Use your imagination man. Think of yourself now, and then compare yourself to what you COULD be, no matter how unlikely. The odds of it happening are far better than doing nothing. ;)

So much can change so quickly, but it will NEVER happen unless you make it happen. I know as I wasted considerable years being friendless and causing myself harm til I copped on.


P.s The same goes for motivation. I always waited for some girl, my parents, friends, relatives, religious leaders, random crazy men etc etc to provide me with motivation. It DOES NOT happen.

Even now I lack motivation, I find things uphill all the way, but you've got to keep telling yourself, that if you don't do it, no one will or can do it for you.
 
You're 25. Life as an adult is just starting, so I wouldn't worry too much about feeling like you're a failure because you haven't done x or why by the time you're z.

Cutting all your comforts and promising yourself you'll get a job by the end of the month is probably going to stress you out even more and be counter productive, baby steps are the key.

You need to work out what direction you want your life to go in - straight into a job? Qualifications first? Train on the job? Once you've done that you can start the baby steps process to getting there. Set yourself a realistic target such as getting a local newspaper to job hunt, do your CV or get some prospectuses by the end of the week and go from there :)

Hope you get it sorted mate.
 
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