How should a woman deal with a stalker who has her mobile number?

fullmetaltony

fullmetaltony

fullmetaltony

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I've just been asked (as a technical guy who might know), by a lady I work with, how to go about barring a number from texting her. A quick google told me that Orange wont block numbers, and the iphone has no facility to prevent texts coming in from a certain number. Turns out, 3 years ago, she had a note put onto her car window with a mobile number on it. Curious and somewhat stupidly, she texted the number asking who it was, and has since been harrassed by texts constantly. Quite creepy ones sometimes. She has no idea who it is, they wont reveal themselves but they clearly are local as they keep asking her to meet up at local spots or saying he's spied her at Tescos at a certain time (when she was there). Or telling her he's noticed she's changed car. I suggested just changing her number, but she's unwilling to do that for whatever reason.
Police say they can't do anything as she initiated the contact (by texting him), and now are unable to take action unless he "does something", whatever that means.
She seemed quite nervous of any number barring alerting him that the number had been blocked, and the risk of that causing to do something schitzo.

I'm asking here as OCUK has a good bunch of technically minded people on the forum, which are a good demographic for knowing the technicalities of this type of thing.

Another guy here has already offered to text the number threatening to break his legs, I'm not overly sure a stalker of three years is likely to give up that easily, especially as it's essentially giving him the attention he so craves.
 
Loads of smartphone apps will block numbers.

You also have to wonder what kind of person would put up with creepy texts for three years and refuse to change numbers.
 
Get an app to block, or change numbers.

Personally I'd change numbers otherwise he'll just get a different number.

Scary the police won't investigate though.
 
Captain Planet said:
Police. Obvious.
Click to expand...

He's said they won't do anything...

That being said I'm genuinely amazed they wouldn't just have a word, and if that's the case shame on the Police.

I would imagine there might be more apps that can do what she requires if the phone is Jailbroken?
 
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Mr.Yellow said:
He's said they won't do anything...

That being said I'm genuinely amazed they wouldn't just have a word, and if that's the case shame on the Police.

I would imagine there might be more apps that can do what she requires if the phone is Jailbroken?
Click to expand...

Jailbreaking is the only option I can find, as there actually isn't an app for that I can find. This is the type of woman who requires a guide on how to use the iphone even. Jailbreaking isn't an option. Plus I can't be arsed to sort that out for her, she's someone I work with, I'm not close enough to spend countless hours on it.
I'd anyone convinced there's an app for it, would be so kind as to back that claim up with a link, I'd be grateful.
 
Why would changing the number help in this situation? Surely that's a symptom, not the actual complaint?

If he's watching her drive/shop/sleep/poop, then he'll find another way to communicate with her.

If the police are unwilling to help, I'd log it with them so they have a record stating that she's been left with little choice but to confront. Then get her to meet him in a public place shadowed by a couple of heavies to at least get pictures or some idea who this lunatic is.

At least that way she has a person to complain about.

It seems a little unsafe to suggest that I admit, but if you don't know who you're dealing with then you need to establish who it is first. Level the field a bit.
 
randal said:
Why would changing the number help in this situation? Surely that's a symptom, not the actual complaint?

If he's watching her drive/shop/sleep/poop, then he'll find another way to communicate with her.

If the police are unwilling to help, I'd log it with them so they have a record stating that she's been left with little choice but to confront. Then get her to meet him in a public place shadowed by a couple of heavies to at least get pictures or some idea who this lunatic is.

At least that way she has a person to complain about.

It seems a little unsafe to suggest that I admit, but if you don't know who you're dealing with then you need to establish who it is first. Level the field a bit.
Click to expand...

This sounds like good advice, it seems to me that anonymity has been a driver for him. Losing that might be enough to stop him, but she's scared about what he does when the heavies have gone home and he waits a week.
 
I find it hard to believe the Police won't do anything. It will be best to keep a log of everything that happens and just keep reporting each event to them. They will have to do something if it turns out that she could be in danger.
 
Her ideal situation, to clarify, is being able to block the number without him knowing. She's ignored his texts for a year before and it hasn't stopped him. I have suggested she gets herself a man, as that would soon stop the situation I reckon.
 
fullmetaltony said:
I'm asking here as OCUK has a good bunch of technically minded people on the forum, which are a good demographic for knowing the technicalities of this type of thing.
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Given the demographic you refer to, I assume "this type of thing" means stalking someone? ;)

Sorry, nothing more constructive to add, I've tried to find ways to block numbers before, but with no success.
 
Has she tried contacting her own network? Has she continued complaining to the police?

I appreciate it's not a very nice situation to be in, but it does sound like she just wants to take the most passive approach possible which doesn't really seem like the most effective course of action. "Out of sight, out of mind" won't make him go away or stop his behaviour.
 
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