First night out in 2 years.....HELP.

Dont eat for 24h
Start with Spirits - shots against the bar with a few other ex colleagues- Tequila, Ouzo or Aftershock Shock will all work.
After 10 find somewhere around a table to sit with a pint of Bitter in a chunky glass of your choice.
A decanter of Nan's sherry should be on hand.
Get an IV drip of 3 parts coca cola to 1 part House Whisky and suck on an ice cube in the ambulance to A&E
 
There is nothing less amusing than getting drunk in the wrong way. Grab the booze bull by the alcohol horns and serve yourself a cheeky sherry with a large whisky as your 'off' round.

Drinking properly is like building a badly designed house. It's important that you think you have solid foundations before getting so involved that you don't actually care any more. The detail, not the outcome, has consumed you.

"Glenlivet or a 12 Yr Glenmorangie?" you ponder, whilst keeping your sherry trick rate up (NEVER LET SHERRY OFF YOUR COOLDOWN LIST, IT IS USEFUL IN A PALLADIN BUILD)

"Should I intersperse my drink programme with some whiskey, with an 'e'?" you consider before realising that only travelling folk drink whiskey, and maybe an American actor who doesn't know any better. You demolish a nice sherry whilst this happens.

"No," you decide and you're swaying a little bit but that is okay because sherry always has your back. It's like Batman Booze.

Later, when they ask you what happened, you will claim (correctly) that you do not remember the terrible events. You will receive a Police bracelet which you have to put on your leg at all times but remember this ...

Sherry. Always. Has. Your. Back.

Always.
 
[FnG]magnolia;24340277 said:
There is nothing less amusing than getting drunk in the wrong way. Grab the booze bull by the alcohol horns and serve yourself a cheeky sherry with a large whisky as your 'off' round.

Drinking properly is like building a badly designed house. It's important that you think you have solid foundations before getting so involved that you don't actually care any more. The detail, not the outcome, has consumed you.

"Glenlivet or a 12 Yr Glenmorangie?" you ponder, whilst keeping your sherry trick rate up (NEVER LET SHERRY OFF YOUR COOLDOWN LIST, IT IS USEFUL IN A PALLADIN BUILD)

"Should I intersperse my drink programme with some whiskey, with an 'e'?" you consider before realising that only travelling folk drink whiskey, and maybe an American actor who doesn't know any better. You demolish a nice sherry whilst this happens.

"No," you decide and you're swaying a little bit but that is okay because sherry always has your back. It's like Batman Booze.

Later, when they ask you what happened, you will claim (correctly) that you do not remember the terrible events. You will receive a Police bracelet which you have to put on your leg at all times but remember this ...

Sherry. Always. Has. Your. Back.

Always.
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Magnificent.
 
I wouldnt bother overplanning. Make sure you eat well beforehand and enjoy yourself and be yourself. Go with the flow.

I don't personally understand why project manage a night out to the extent of some of the posts here!
 
Andybtsn said:
I thought this post was genuine but looking at OP's further replies I'm sure we're getting trolled here.
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Bit of both, I am being made redundant, and going out sunday.
I haven't drank for about a year, 2 was a bit of an exaggeration.

Magnoilia, you sound like the perfect drinking partner.
 
Just don't order bells when drunk. I did that in my student bar a couple days ago. The bells was served in a hot glass, straight from the dishwashed which meant the bells was lukewarm. Bells isn't that great to start off with, even less so when decidedly warm.

Nearly made me puke.



edit: To clarify, the bells was only £2.50 for a double, compared to Jamesons which was considerably more. I still happily forked out for it afterwards, before admitting defeat after a couple rounds of wallet destroying, and stuck thereafter with tequila and Guinness.
 
sports_brah said:
Just don't order bells when drunk. I did that in my student bar a couple days ago. The bells was served in a hot glass, straight from the dishwashed which meant the bells was lukewarm. Bells isn't that great to start off with, even less so when decidedly warm.

Nearly made me puke.
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Bells is rancid **** water, period.
 
It has its merits when drinking cheaply is a must. Truth be told I think the wedding at Cana sums me up perfectly. With enough drinks inside me, my already dubious connoisseur meter, usually gives up entirely. Don't save the best til last! (unless it's a more civilised evening without the presence of things like shot roulette...)
 
[FnG]magnolia;24340645 said:
I think that he is flirting with trolling, not admitting to it.

Correct l33th3tr33 ?
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Indeed.

Theophany said:
Bells is rancid **** water, period.
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This. Jack dagnels is the spirit of choice.

mrbell1984 said:
@l33th3tr33 what was the final outcome then? Are you ill in bed or did you manage to suppress it all! :D
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I'm not going out til tomorrow night, But I'll update as soon as I arise from the gutter.
 
Get drunk and have a good time. If you get too drunk early on in the night, I normally switch to a pint > coke > pint > coke > pint > coke system.
 
If you don't like going out then that's fine, I very rarely go out these days as my priorities have completely changed since my son was born.
 
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