OK guys so I am after some advice….. I know that the depths of GD and it’s regulars may not give me the answers that I am ultimately looking for but it’s worth a go as some of you on here might be able to help.
I was at my parents this weekend with my eldest brother (as we were helping my dad with replacing some old and worn flat roof). My eldest brother has 3 kids, the eldest of which is 14 years old.
He is in secondary school, and I have only recently found out that he has been getting bullied, and from the sounds of it, quite badly. He has been (what he classes as) “beaten up” countless times, and mentally and verbally abused by a particular group of lads.
My brother discussed this with me, and wanted some advice on how to approach the situation, as it’s not as straight forward as most cases of child bullying. We sat him down at the weekend and had a chat with him to understand what has been happening and to give him a bit of moral support and advice.
The long and the short of it; the lad is an emotion wreck. I have not seen him cry since he was in nappies and to see him like this melted my icy cold heart. And I want to make sure the boy gets the help he needs to get things sorted.
I will try not to hit you all with a wall of text, but I will give the information I believe is of any use.
My brother is separated from my nephew’s mother, and has been for about 8+ years. He sees his sons as often as possible but at least twice a week (Always once at the weekends). This means that it has taken a while for this bullying to properly come to light. He has discussed this at length with his Son and is now fully aware of the situation.
The nephew is the eldest of the 3 kids. He is the older brother, and does not have other siblings to look up to, or fall back on for support.
The kids that have been bullying him, both physically and mentally, are within what he “thinks” are his group of mates.
The “main” bully, has put a kid in hospital by breaking his eye socket. All that resulted from this (as punishment) was the bully was suspended for 3 days. – This has done nothing buy scare my nephew ****less.
Whilst he’s not a small lad and he used to be able to stick up for himself, this other one sounds like a right nasty piece of work. So I don’t think the old “smack the bully/break his nose” job is going to get him anywhere but into more trouble.
Now I understand the school systems rather well, and how they work etc. as my misses is a primary school teacher. The main obstacles we can see: the nephew has not raised this as a concern with his teachers or any school staffs, meaning that, like most schools, the staff are blissfully unaware of the situation. In addition to this he is still on and off hanging around with them inside school.
My nephew has made is clear that he doesn’t want parents to get involved with the school, because he thinks will only make things worse, and ultimately probably will.
He has his heart set on changing schools thinking that this will sort things out. However not living in the nicest area means that he will more than likely end up worse off at another school.
We left the conversation after giving him the following advice:
First thing Monday talk to your form tutor or year head and explain what has been happening. This means that legally the school HAVE to do something about it. Even if its monitor the situation moving forward
Stop hanging around with the group and try to make some new friends or concentrate on your school work.
If the bullying persists under the schools watch, then it is time for the “adults” to get involved.
My brother has agreed (from a separate discussion we had after speaking to his son) that he is best of going in to see the school without letting his son know. This will help work things out by making the school aware of the situation.
We have also explained to him that this kind of thing happens to everyone at some point in their life. But I just felt so bad for the kid. When I was at school I was bullied for about a year until I finally stood up for myself and handled things in the “old fashioned way”. However kids these days seem to know no boundaries and seeing as these kids are involved with drugs and gang style mentality at such a young age you can only guess what could happen.
I guess there is not much advice that you can give on the situation but it sure feels good to vent a little.
So GD how would you handle the situation? Have you ever had run in’s with bullies? Have your kids been through similar.
Sorry for the wall of text.
I was at my parents this weekend with my eldest brother (as we were helping my dad with replacing some old and worn flat roof). My eldest brother has 3 kids, the eldest of which is 14 years old.
He is in secondary school, and I have only recently found out that he has been getting bullied, and from the sounds of it, quite badly. He has been (what he classes as) “beaten up” countless times, and mentally and verbally abused by a particular group of lads.
My brother discussed this with me, and wanted some advice on how to approach the situation, as it’s not as straight forward as most cases of child bullying. We sat him down at the weekend and had a chat with him to understand what has been happening and to give him a bit of moral support and advice.
The long and the short of it; the lad is an emotion wreck. I have not seen him cry since he was in nappies and to see him like this melted my icy cold heart. And I want to make sure the boy gets the help he needs to get things sorted.
I will try not to hit you all with a wall of text, but I will give the information I believe is of any use.
My brother is separated from my nephew’s mother, and has been for about 8+ years. He sees his sons as often as possible but at least twice a week (Always once at the weekends). This means that it has taken a while for this bullying to properly come to light. He has discussed this at length with his Son and is now fully aware of the situation.
The nephew is the eldest of the 3 kids. He is the older brother, and does not have other siblings to look up to, or fall back on for support.
The kids that have been bullying him, both physically and mentally, are within what he “thinks” are his group of mates.
The “main” bully, has put a kid in hospital by breaking his eye socket. All that resulted from this (as punishment) was the bully was suspended for 3 days. – This has done nothing buy scare my nephew ****less.
Whilst he’s not a small lad and he used to be able to stick up for himself, this other one sounds like a right nasty piece of work. So I don’t think the old “smack the bully/break his nose” job is going to get him anywhere but into more trouble.
Now I understand the school systems rather well, and how they work etc. as my misses is a primary school teacher. The main obstacles we can see: the nephew has not raised this as a concern with his teachers or any school staffs, meaning that, like most schools, the staff are blissfully unaware of the situation. In addition to this he is still on and off hanging around with them inside school.
My nephew has made is clear that he doesn’t want parents to get involved with the school, because he thinks will only make things worse, and ultimately probably will.
He has his heart set on changing schools thinking that this will sort things out. However not living in the nicest area means that he will more than likely end up worse off at another school.
We left the conversation after giving him the following advice:
First thing Monday talk to your form tutor or year head and explain what has been happening. This means that legally the school HAVE to do something about it. Even if its monitor the situation moving forward
Stop hanging around with the group and try to make some new friends or concentrate on your school work.
If the bullying persists under the schools watch, then it is time for the “adults” to get involved.
My brother has agreed (from a separate discussion we had after speaking to his son) that he is best of going in to see the school without letting his son know. This will help work things out by making the school aware of the situation.
We have also explained to him that this kind of thing happens to everyone at some point in their life. But I just felt so bad for the kid. When I was at school I was bullied for about a year until I finally stood up for myself and handled things in the “old fashioned way”. However kids these days seem to know no boundaries and seeing as these kids are involved with drugs and gang style mentality at such a young age you can only guess what could happen.
I guess there is not much advice that you can give on the situation but it sure feels good to vent a little.
So GD how would you handle the situation? Have you ever had run in’s with bullies? Have your kids been through similar.
Sorry for the wall of text.
