Bullies ...

KillBoY_UK said:
My bad, Still I wouldn't want to get closer to him regardless. I had my own bullying issue growing up and even to this day at the age of 28 at work but nothing to this sort of level.
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Well if theres no other option, getting close would take probably stop the bullying.
 
Musty Pie said:
And this is the route that we are going down. All be it behind his back, which we feel is a bit sneaky, but hoefuly he will thank us in the long run.
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You're the adults, you have to do what's in his best interests. Whilst he may think it will get worse, the reality is that it won't. It's the first step to getting it sorted.

Sadly, when I were a lad, I went for the violence option to resolving my bully problem as it had worked when standing up for my younger brothers. Whilst immensely satisfying at the time to see my bully's look of horror when scrawny little me floored him in one, it was less satisfying when he came back with 8 or 9 mates and set me alight with an aerosol can and a lighter. Moral of the story is that kids these days are ****ing animals and need to be treated as such.
 
GhostlyPea said:
As tough as it sounds he either needs to suck it up and ignore it and get on with life, confront them (which doesn't usually work out well) or something more drastic like leaving.
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Congratulations on 'Worst Advice of the Year' award :rolleyes:

The above advice will make the kid broken and insecure (putting up with it), get him into more bullying or even become a bully (confrontation) and while moving school IS certainly an option, it is drastic and I'm sure there are better measures to be tried first.

OP, It sounds like you've decided on the best course of action. The school needs to know about this if only for it to be on record. The kid needs to realise the friends aren't worth it - he's better than them, not the other way around. And if he's scared of being a billy-no-mates, have him take up some after school activities/sports to get in with a better crowd.
 
Thanks for the advice so far chaps its all helping!

I really think the afterschool clubs is a good shout and that is something I am going to talk to him about tonight.
 
Good for you in trying to help the kid.

I was bullied badly from age 13-16, both physically and mentally. It left me with zero self-confidence or belief in myself. I'm 39 now and it still leaves its mark - I'm very introverted and suffer quite bad social anxiety. It took until I met my wife (10 years ago) to finally start feeling human again. I now have a 2 year old boy and (as you can imagine) I'm going to make damn sure he doesn't have to go through that.

Looking back now, I can't believe I didn't stand up for myself. I was always a pretty shy and sensitive kid (why I got picked on I guess) and I just didn't have it in me. I just put a brave face on it and didn't tell anybody. The school didn't know and/or care. If I had gone to college it would have been so good for me, but I just didn't want to be around people anymore. I flunked my GCSE's because I didn't care - I just wanted out of there.

It's a horrible thing to happen and can define the rest of your life. I hope you can this sorted out for him. Good luck! :)
 
good advice in this thread that i can't really add to - contact the school and go through all the official channels - don't let them fob you off and push them as hard as you can.
Bullying can really destroy a persons confidence for a long time.
 
Tell him to get new 'mates' asap. Not as easy as sounds I know but once he's moved on from them he shouldn't care less what they say/do and his new mates would stick up for him. Contact school etc, etc but mates should not be scared of one another.
 
I think this is one situation where it can pay to go full retard. I was bullied loads at school, in years 7-8, particularly in that most favoured of bully's territory, the PE changing rooms. I put up with it for ~a year and half and then one day just snapped. Can't remember exactly what happened, but I ended up putting one kid's head through a wall, smacked another one round the head with a metal chair and got dragged off another one by the teacher while trying to impale his eye on a coat hook. Surprisingly enough they never touched me after that! Fortunately the school was aware of the bullying, so although I got a good telling off, they were relatively understanding.

I was lucky to be big enough to stand up for myself however, so if your nephew isn't particularly big, this probably won't work.

Also, there's the potential to get into a lot of trouble, if the school aren't aware of the current situation, and there's also the fact that this was ~15 years ago. Kids these days might carry knives etc, so it could make things a lot worse!
 
I hate reading stories like this.

Personally I got bullied on and off throughout primary and secondary. Perhaps it made me a better person, who knows. My main worry is that now I am a father myself (son is 4 and starting school this September) will my son ever get bullied.

It's not like it was when we were in school. Bullying in the 21st century is 24/7. Victims can't escape now through social media and txt messaging. They get bullied at school in person, and at home through these sites. There's no escaping it.

The ONLY thing I can think of is martial arts. Look at it from a fitness / self defence angle rather than learning to attack the bully.

There is one thing in the back of my mind. Confront the bullies parents?
 
Does he like sports?

maybe try to get him to join a sports club so he can make new friends , but you are correct in contacting the school , its the first route to take.
 
Haggisman said:
I think this is one situation where it can pay to go full retard. I was bullied loads at school, in years 7-8, particularly in that most favoured of bully's territory, the PE changing rooms. I put up with it for ~a year and half and then one day just snapped. Can't remember exactly what happened, but I ended up putting one kid's head through a wall, smacked another one round the head with a metal chair and got dragged off another one by the teacher while trying to impale his eye on a coat hook. Surprisingly enough they never touched me after that! Fortunately the school was aware of the bullying, so although I got a good telling off, they were relatively understanding.

I was lucky to be big enough to stand up for myself however, so if your nephew isn't particularly big, this probably won't work.

Also, there's the potential to get into a lot of trouble, if the school aren't aware of the current situation, and there's also the fact that this was ~15 years ago. Kids these days might carry knives etc, so it could make things a lot worse!
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^^^^ Awesome :cool:
 
glen8 said:
There is one thing in the back of my mind. Confront the bullies parents?
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Great in theory, not so much in practice. I hate to generalise, but most of these problem kids aren't exactly raised in environments that are known for well-enforced discipline, or indeed parents who give a toss about them.
 
Haggisman said:
I think this is one situation where it can pay to go full retard. I was bullied loads at school, in years 7-8, particularly in that most favoured of bully's territory, the PE changing rooms. I put up with it for ~a year and half and then one day just snapped. Can't remember exactly what happened, but I ended up putting one kid's head through a wall, smacked another one round the head with a metal chair and got dragged off another one by the teacher while trying to impale his eye on a coat hook. Surprisingly enough they never touched me after that! Fortunately the school was aware of the bullying, so although I got a good telling off, they were relatively understanding.

I was lucky to be big enough to stand up for myself however, so if your nephew isn't particularly big, this probably won't work.

Also, there's the potential to get into a lot of trouble, if the school aren't aware of the current situation, and there's also the fact that this was ~15 years ago. Kids these days might carry knives etc, so it could make things a lot worse!
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Honestly, while retaliation is usually not condoned, it does fix the issue. I was constantly mocked at school by a group of lads. I lashed out, injured one of them in the face pretty badly (A heavy schoolbag full of meaty textbooks swung round, caught him square in the face!)

The bullying pretty much ended after that. I got a few days off school too as a 'reward' :)
 
At what point does it become assault and the police get involved?

If this kid thinks it's ok to go around smacking other people and for there to be no consequences, imagine what he's going to be like when he's unemployed and roaming the streets.

There was definitely a different way to handle these situations in my day(!) but nowadays nothing seems to be handled informally, so play the game and get this thug locked up pronto!
 
First off it needs to be put onto the schools radar. Arrange a meeting with the head teacher and go and have a clear, concise and level headed discussion around your concerns and then to understand how he/she intends to resolve this very disturbing and unsettling situation. Any head worth their salt will treat this very seriously and will have a clear set of guidelines and processes to resolve the situation.

I would also establish if there is any online aspect to this bullying as I know, due to recent experience with friends, that the police will take this very seriously and will visit the offenders as it's a good form of proof. If there is a case of online then I would actually make it a police matter before anything and then make the head aware that this aspect is a police matter and he/she is now expected to address the face to face in school time aspects.

They will then probably involve the kids parents so don't be surprised if they take the "our little Johny would never do that" approach as there is a likely root cause to their kids actions. My approach with these things is rapid and clear action and I suggest your family does exactly the same thing, emotion removed but firm and clear in what you expect to happen and in what time line and if it doest your route of escalation, whether is be further police involvement, school governors, local politicians or press.

If you are clear and serious I would expect the problem to be addressed and the bullies and their parents to get a proper scare.
 
There's a chap I used to work with who went through a similar thing.

His son was in nursery!!!!!!! luckily his son was ok back then, but his friend ended up in Hospital with spinal fluid leaking out or something! They are now in primary and the bully is still causing trouble for his son now. Guess the spinal fluid leaking out wasn't a big enough cause for concern.

Can't imagine what the bully will turn into.
 
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