Is my life over?

Put the PC to good use with tutoring the youth of today.

Offer up your time volunteering to make new friends and give yourself some self esteem.

I'm sure there's plenty more moose knuckles in Anfield / Croxteth / Walton that will take your mind of the current one..
 
I'm only up the road in Southport, and a few people are moving out of the flats in my building. Is there anything in particular furniture wise you need?
I can drop it off for you, no cost to any of it of course.

Best of luck mate.

Oh, and as above I'd recommend selling the PC. At the moment I'm on a £60 HP nc4400 laptop as my only machine and from that I run all of work's tools plus run my online shop. Even though it's a big drop in value, it's all money back in your pocket. I had to do the same.
 
Last edited:
Just remember the hardest road can offer the biggest rewards. In the future when things are going good you'll realise you needed the hard times to make you the strong person you will become.

Optimism>Pessimism.
 
UncleRuckus said:
Also you need to put things into perspective. You may be living in a small flat, however you are now no longer locked in with a sociopath and can start having healthy relationships with good people.
Click to expand...
Good post.

(shock horror agreeing with UncleRuckusin a thread :p)

Try to focus on one aspect at a time, on key things which A, you can influence easiest & B which will improve your quality of life the most.

It sounds like you got with a pretty terrible person who took advantage of your better nature, it's time to focus - rebuild, try to remain positive & keep busy.
 
Last edited:
Pestilence said:
It's already been said, OP, but you need to take control of your life back because right now you've completely lost it.

You're allowing everyone around you but yourself to declare what you can and can't do, and taking these restrictions as "just life". But it isn't. First off, get yourself a damned job. If that means you can't see your kids so often then so be it -- but without one, you're going nowhere. That's step one, and I'll tell you why it's step one:

Are you saying you can't get a job because the only time she lets you see your kids is during the working day? You know... when she has to be out working/studying? If that's the case, then you know what you are to her -- a free babysitter. She knows you'll take it lying down, which you currently are, and you're being made to feel like exactly the worn rug you've taken the role of. Your response to her right now should be that you want the kids every other weekend, as you need to get into work and get yourself sorted out.

That's also a sacrifice on your part, as you won't see them as often as you'd like. But you know what? Once you're earning and back on stable ground you can move to get more access. It doesn't happen at once, and you aren't abandoning them. Children understand more than you may give them credit for.

Now, if she doesn't like it, you simply admonish that the children live with her, she decided that that's where they should be for now (while you disagree) and she can sort out child care during the week. If she needs evening help then fine, but for now you need to find regular employment, which the current schedule disallows. If she has a problem with that, then you can bring in Social Services. See how much she likes that idea.

All of this is the foundation for improvement. Lay down the law, get a job, get the money together, get a better place. All the while your solicitor will be working in the background with regards to your custody case. Do you think a court is going to agree that the children should be placed in your care in a run-down bedsit? No chance.

This takes sacrifice on your part... but the good news is, it's mostly sacrificing the **** that you seem to have taken on your own shoulders because of her. Forget her, she no longer matters. This is YOU. Of course you will also have to sacrifice some time with your kids, but that matter is a long-term resolution, not quickly. They'll come back to you. How much better would be if they came back to you in a stable home, a nice rented property, and little stress?

Much better than now, I'd wager.
Click to expand...

All of the above, plus this:

Every single day, take a step towards being the man you want your children to look up to. Do everything you can so that even if you somehow become estranged from yor children while doing the above, when you meet them again in the future they'll be able to take pride in their father.
 
Don't get me wrong, I know it's better to be out of that situation with the ex... I'm not the nervous wreck I was before which is a major improvement!

Things are so very hard though, I keep thinking if I some how manage to catch another job is it going to look bad on me to the courts by refusing to visit the children on the allocated days? And then if they do award me custody of them from August or months later on what then?

I know I'm being incredibly indecisive and I appreciate everyone's advice but I really don't know what to do for the best and it feels like everything is hanging on what the courts will decide, months down the line!
 
elmarko said:
Good post.

(shock horror agreeing with UncleRuckusin a thread :p)
Click to expand...
:p :D

Vidar said:
Don't get me wrong, I know it's better to be out of that situation with the ex... I'm not the nervous wreck I was before which is a major improvement!

Things are so very hard though, I keep thinking if I some how manage to catch another job is it going to look bad on me to the courts by refusing to visit the children on the allocated days? And then if they do award me custody of them from August or months later on what then?

I know I'm being incredibly indecisive and I appreciate everyone's advice but I really don't know what to do for the best and it feels like everything is hanging on what the courts will decide, months down the line!
Click to expand...
The courts will take this into account. It would look more favourable on you if you are working.

It also means you'll have more choice to do things when the little ones' come to stay.
 
mattyprice4004 said:
I'm only up the road in Southport, and a few people are moving out of the flats in my building. Is there anything in particular furniture wise you need?
I can drop it off for you, no cost to any of it of course.
Click to expand...

The main things I really need are a fridge freezer and a bed, Trouble is I'm 6ft 8 and weigh 22 stone (down from just short of 26, 6 months ago) so what I really need is a good solid king size, length of a single or even a double is an issue for me but I'd be glad of anything really! :)
 
Want to take back control of life? Write a list of issues you need to address and tick them off as you go while focusing on the goal of living life better.

I've been though a lot, still lots to go through but I always keep focus and things in perspective.

Email in trust if you want to talk at any point.
 
Hitman_Leon said:
Want to take back control of life? Write a list of issues you need to address and tick them off as you go while focusing on the goal of living life better.

I've been though a lot, still lots to go through but I always keep focus and things in perspective.

Email in trust if you want to talk at any point.
Click to expand...
:) - some more great advice.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom