Is this inconsiderate of me?

Guest2

Guest2

Guest2

Soldato
Joined
6 May 2009
Posts
20,430
A couple of years a group of us went to Poland and had a great time. We said next year we would go back but it never happened. After a night out people were saying we should still do it so I looked at flights/costs for next March and created a group on Facebook (around £350-£400 total for 3 nights)

I then get a call from a friend who said I need to cancel the invites/group because his stag do is in April (no dates yet) I told him I would put info about his do on it but cannot yet as he doesn't know exact dates (or even place)

He didn't sound happy but am I inconsiderate thinking that everything cannot be put on hold just because someone is getting married and having a stag do next year?
 
If he can't give a date then no your not being inconsiderate. I would pressure him for a date and work with him so everyone can go.
 
I certainly wouldn't cancel a potential group trip just because a stag do may or may not happen the following month.

In fact, if I were the stag I wouldn't expect my mates to cancel a trip that was obviously in the planning first.
 
Isn't this the point of planning something on Facebook? So that people can check their diarys and suggest changes if it conflicts.

Tell him that stag do's are out moded and tacky, and nobody wants to nurse a hangover all weekend just because he got a girl up the duff :p
 
I personally wouldn't arrange a holiday a few weeks before a friends stag do, as they can be expensive depending on what he wants to do, and I wouldn't want to either put people in financial trouble by having them do both, or not being able to afford the stag do because of the holiday I planned.

As Chris suggested, why not ask if he wants to incorporate your trip as part of his stag do? The boys go on holiday and get wasted, then have something smaller locally the following month.
 
Presumably he is concerned that if people themselves on your Poland trip they will not be able to afford his stag do a month later - which seems a pretty fair position to take. Is there any reason you could not defer planning this trip until the stag do details are finalised? Could you not just post something up to say XYZ will be having his stag do in April ... more details later?
 
I didnt even know the month of his stag do. In the past 2 years i have been on 5 stag do's and managed my usual ski and summer holidays too.
Unfortunately cannot do poland for his. He has a place in mind already (with main activity)
 
Reasons not to do this as a stag do:

1. People going on the trip may not be friends with the "stag".
2. Stag might be difficult about it and want to essentially run it as an ego trip for himself.
3. It's a year away, plenty of time for people to save up and do both if they are going to both.
 
We know where we are going for his - Spain and getting Real Madrid tickets (i just didnt know when)

You are right, in my eyes 9 month is enough time to save for both - not to mention i am away 2 weeks in sept, a festival and skiing in jan
 
Guest2 said:
You are right, in my eyes 9 month is enough time to save for both - not to mention i am away 2 weeks in sept, a festival and skiing in jan
Click to expand...

You seem to be basing this on the "if I can do it then why can't everyone else" thinking, life and especially when it comes to finances doesn't work like this.
 
tom_e said:
You seem to be basing this on the "if I can do it then why can't everyone else" thinking, life and especially when it comes to finances doesn't work like this.
Click to expand...

If u cant afford both then surely just dont go! There are many other people invited that he (the stag) doesnt even know.

I am on 20k and last year did german grand prix stag, skiing in meribel, bratislava stag, cyprus, newquay stag and poland. So yes, budget and things can be done
 
Was the stag do always going to be in April but you just didn't know the dates or was it only after you suggested March that he told you his stag do was in April? It sounds to be the latter and in that case I think he's the one being inconsiderate in demanding you cancel your other plans.

That said while it shouldn't be impossible to do both there may be competing financial priorities for many of the guests - a trip to Poland can be done pretty much any time, his stag do will (hopefully) only happen once. Given the timeframe and the fact that he's not got any firm dates I think I'd be saying to him that I didn't want there to be the chance of a conflict with the stag do but without knowing when he intended to arrange it the dates were picked as the best at the time - if he's now got a firm date for the stag do then this trip can probably be rearranged but to be aware that this is altering other peoples plans to fit him not being organised.

In that position I wouldn't want to fall out with them but I'd want to be clear that they're changing the goal posts after the game has started.
 
Guest2 said:
If u cant afford both then surely just dont go! There are many other people invited that he (the stag) doesnt even know.

I am on 20k and last year did german grand prix stag, skiing in meribel, bratislava stag, cyprus, newquay stag and poland. So yes, budget and things can be done
Click to expand...

Do you have a large mortgage and other things to pay off each month too?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom