I think I found Jesus, now what?

[d_brennen]

Phone the Pope and become a Saint, call yourself Ivel and become the patron Saint of Butter.

Don't you need to die in a gruesome way to become a saint?

Anyway, when you see Jesus next, ask him why he left such a mess here and when he's coming back to tidy up please?

 

[^TANK^]

Are you absolutely positive it isn't trapped wind?

 

[Gogl]

Are you on a diet or had you skipped any meals?

Could have been Allah was calling you to Islam through your fasting.

 

[craptakular]

It wasn't Allah, it felt like a white beardy man.

 

[Destination]

Don't you need to die in a gruesome way to become a saint?

That's a Martyr rather than a Saint.

 

[d_brennen]

It wasn't Allah, it felt like a white beardy man.

Wasn't Jesus then, either. As it isn't Christmas (we all still believe, right?), I'd say you got roofied and felt up by ZZ Top

 

[Castiel]

*Looks at OP username......and leaves.*

 

[DampDog]

It wasn't Allah, it felt like a white beardy man.

Ah.. Posessed by Santa..

 

[Xordium]

I eagerly await your "spec me a tambourine" thread.

 

[Deleted member 651465]

There is no god.

Good luck with your mental health issues

 

[craptakular]

There is no god.

Good luck with your mental health issues

Proof?

 

[Fenris]

It might be a tumour.

 

[Doomedspeed]

Its really hard to describe, it was like a tingly sensation going down my spine, then I just felt pure exstacy.

Orgasm

 

[SlyReaper]

Can you show us on this doll where he touched you?

Proof?

Not needed. Burden of proof is on the one who says there is a god. You could equally say there isn't an invisible pink unicorn, without requiring proof of its non-existence.

 

[413x]

I think the last time it was this hot was about 0AD ish

You sure it wasn't the 3rd.. Coming

 

[Pawnless Endgame]

Not another born again Christian. Next you will be singing cliff Richard songs

Don't get me started with born-agains. Had a couple of them at my old work and they made late '07 / early '08 a nightmare for me. They kept on trying to convert me when I was clearly not interested. Various grief tactics as well as the two of them worked together to try and de-seat me from my job role knowing that I was disadvantaged due to my sensory loss. The grievance procedure didn't work due to poor management. Eventually, one of them resigned and then the other got the chop but it was little too little late.

 

[cainer]

I was on my way to work this morning and felt this warmth fill my very soul, I can't really describe it. It felt like a weight had been lifted and I was being guided... I think Jesus has found me but I am not sure what to do about it, anyone else been touched by Jesus lately?

jesus loves you!

but everyone else thinks you're a **** tbh

 

[cm1179]

I was on my way to work this morning and felt this warmth fill my very soul, I can't really describe it. It felt like a weight had been lifted

it's called friday

 

[Fuzz]

Its really hard to describe, it was like a tingly sensation going down my spine, then I just felt pure exstacy.

The warmth was probably in your pants afterwards!

 

[Jamesyboyjim]

Its really hard to describe, it was like a tingly sensation going down my spine, then I just felt pure exstacy.

Sounds awfully like an orgasm matey (as mentioned already)