Has anyone ever had a serious fall out with their family?

8 years since I was kicked out of my mom house and now we have a good relationship although only see each other few times a year and talk on the phone every few weeks. But when i used to live with her from age 14-21. She was not a nice person to live with and even admits it today that she was going through her own issues and took it all out on me and apologised for doing so. At the time she was forced to work in terrible jobs because my dad left her and she had not worked for 15 years and i didn't have a job. She would come home and just hate me the whole time. Once threw a knife at me and a bread bored. Near the end she was just hateful towards me all the time.

I just couldn't talk any sense in to her at the time, she would just go hysterical nearly every night and just shout at me for hours about the same things. Why don't you have a job. Why are you smoking in your room. Just over and over. You couldn't explain it to someone unless they experienced it. Then my sister was like my mom but times about 5 times worse, she was more psychological and methodical in her abuse while my mom was more of a complainer but they were both aggressive. thankfully i didn't have to live with my sister the entire time between 14-21 just some parts of it.
 
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XeNoN89 said:
I currently pay my parents £300 a month rent to live at home, if I want to rent a 1 bed flat around here I will need 3x that. I can't afford that.
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There you go then - it's a choice *you've* made to stay at home rather than move out because you don't want to move somewhere you can afford.
 
You could live in central london for £300 a month rent easily, let alone anywhere else. It is a choice not to move out and you are just making excuses.
 
Although finances may not permit for the time being OP, I would try to move out or at the very least, start putting things into place.

As others have said, unfortunately being at home has it's restrictions. Women seem to be "put off" almost instantly when they are aware that you live at home. Trust me I know. Simple equation: Night out + Alcohol / potential pasty smash * living with parents = FAIL.

Even if you blag it still gets about. Having said that, this isn't the main reason although it certainly helps. I hope you get things sorted. I do feel for you as I get along with my parents just fine.

Incidentally GD, give Esoteric a break :)

I'm 29 and live a home (raises shield). Feel free to take the **** out of me instead :D
 
sparky05084 said:
I'm 29 and live a home (raises shield). Feel free to take the **** out of me instead :D
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Right, open season on sparky boys!

I have to agree with a lot of people on here. At some point you have to accept that you are an adult and have to look after yourself. It doesn't necessarily matter who is wrong or right in these arguments, you are living in their house as a guest and they have no obligation to support you.

Its expensive living on your own but the rubbish about not being able to rent a place on minimum wage is rubbish. I haven't had a penny from my parents since I finished uni and the only reason I would move home would be to save for a house. If I did so I would expect to pull my weight and be at their mercy. I would also not expect them to change their habits or lifestyle to accomodate me.

As others have touched on, it depends how much you are willing to sacrifice. There will always be cheap places everywhere as long as you are willing to compromise and not live in the lap of luxury. Seriously, how do you think students live on tiny amounts of money.
 
XeNoN89 said:
I await some links to 1 bed flats in london for 300 a month
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You might have to live with 5 other people with a shared kitchen in a crummy neighbourhood but you could do it. Oh and anyone earning £300 a month is not working anything like full time.

My parents house is way way nicer than mine and I share with someone else to keep the costs down but my parents have done their bit. They deserve to do what they like when they like without me getting in the way. If I genuinely couldn't survive on my own they would have me back but I would live in some dingy conditions before doing that.
 
Em3bbs said:
Have you got two usernames? If not then your reading comprehension is what should really be called into question. ;)
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I have to admit I missed the earlier exchange. Though the choice of moving potentially 100+ miles from everyone you know and love just so you can say "I've moved out" isn't much of a choice.
 
fez said:
You might have to live with 5 other people with a shared kitchen in a crummy neighbourhood but you could do it. Oh and anyone earning £300 a month is not working anything like full time.
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With the state of the jobs market at the moment it may not be possible to work full time unless you manage to land a couple of jobs.
 
Mr Joshua said:
I have to admit I missed the earlier exchange. Though the choice of moving potentially 100+ miles from everyone you know and love just so you can say "I've moved out" isn't much of a choice.
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I moved countries twice when I found myself in situations I was no longer happy in, both times I moved to where there was work. You might not think it's much of a choice, but to say you have no choice is a bit of a misnomer. People come to this country with nothing and make decent lives for themselves. You just don't have the inclination or motivation to move somewhere else which is fine but if you live with your parents then you have to accept there are some compromises to be made.

I moved out fairly young (at 20) because I wasn't getting on that well with my parents at the time and it transformed our relationship. If you live at home and get on well with your parents then I don't see an issue with living at home at 30, if you don't then either live with it or do something about it.
 
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Em3bbs said:
You just don't have the inclination or motivation to move somewhere else which is fine but if you live with your parents then you have to accept there are some compromises to be made.
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You are correct on both points, I wouldn't move away from the area I grew up, I like it here and fortunately houses are quite nicely priced (£60k for a 3 bed 70's built house in a quiet area!) locally.
 
I was kicked out when I was 16, and ended up in a homeless shelter. The details aren't important as to how it happened but it made me grow up and realise that constant little arguments and tit for tat isn't worth it. Don't look for an apology, or reason. Just stop being a tit with your family and look to move out. There comes a point where everything anyone does annoys you, the easiest way to cure this? Get away from them.
 
My sister and I had the usual teenage "my music is better than your music"-type arguments, but you can't really count that as that's just teenagers for you. We grew up and I'm always pretty much ok with my family. I went away to uni aged 20, came back home during the holidays. Then I moved out for real just after my 24th birthday. Not sure on the circumstances of those saying that they're 38 and 39 back on page 1 of this thread (80 posts per page), but that sure is old to be still living at home!

I did however have a classmate from a Muslim family. She became quite liberal in her beliefs while the family remained fundamentalist. Because of that, she got disowned by the family and had to be re-homed when she was only 15. I'm fine with liberal believers, but it saddens me when more hardened believers put religion before their own child :(
 
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