Depressed...

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So I would like to try and keep this serious as it is a serious matter to me.

My mothers side suffers from minor anxiety, stress and depression and a couple of members are or have taken medication for it. I thought I had dodged the bullet with this and taken my Dad's side on this stuff however to past couple of years has told me otherwise.

I'm nineteen and the biggest thing that bums me out is the prospect of wasting the best part of my life working for 40 years. I'm by no means not into hard work - I just take a step back and it just seems such a waste of time. I really want to travel and experience good things and so money bums me out too, not because I have a greed for money, I just feel like I don't have any freedom due to no money.

I can go from planning to conquer the world with the latest idea to utter crap in a few hours even. I often find things can trigger the depression like even losing a tennis match it may sound ridiculous but it's totally irrational and the match will just tip me over the edge.

I don't want to sound big headed but this is me...

-Awesome at school A*s all round then college and distinction*s in electronics.
-Going to the best University in the country for my subject in a week and I'm totally indifferent about it or not really bothered.
-Great at nearly any sport I try, GB team in two different sports (different time obviously) and GB junior champ for both with a lot of others that I have competed at county level with only a few hours coaching.
-I like the think of myself as an artist rather than engineer as I really love designing.

I'm physically fit and healthy so some might say I have the world on a plate however I couldn't feel anymore different from that right now.

Currently I can't get any enjoyment from anything and my sport is going down hill. Designing HiFi used to do it for me but now depresses me further because I want to do it but can't afford to build anything. The reason I say artist when it comes to designing the products is because it's emotional for me and so no being able to do it really hurts.

There's a huge amount more too, like my irrational obsession for perfection in things I do and other things.

I would like to talk it through with a psychiatrist - I have got to that stage.

I don't really know why I started this thread I just really need to get it off my chest.
 
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I've never had serious problems and I'm not trying to make light of it but what I do is just think "**** it, life could be a lot worse" then smile. Put on a really big cheesy smile (disclaimer: at this point people may think you are crazy, I get this) and you find after a few seconds the smile makes you really smile if that makes sense.

A little thing and probably not the help you need, but give it a try!
 
If your mood is changing for no reason, it isn't likely to be depression but something like BPD/Bipolar disorder and something you need to mention to your GP.
 
Don't mean to sound indifferent but apart from excelling at sports most people have felt how you felt at that age, everything in front of you and a world to conquer but the slightest thing has you daunted. That's just life all over ups and downs so don't label yourself as depressed or needing medication until you have talked it through with a professional. :)
 
GSWAudio said:
So I would like to try and keep this serious as it is a serious matter to me.

My mothers side suffers from minor anxiety, stress and depression and a couple of members are or have taken medication for it. I thought I had dodged the bullet with this and taken my Dad's side on this stuff however to past couple of years has told me otherwise.

I'm nineteen and the biggest thing that bums me out is the prospect of wasting the best part of my life working for 40 years. I'm by no means not into hard work - I just take a step back and it just seems such a waste of time. I really want to travel and experience good things and so money bums me out too, not because I have a greed for money, I just feel like I don't have any freedom due to no money.

I can go from planning to conquer the world with the latest idea to utter crap in a few hours even. I often find things can trigger the depression like even losing a tennis match it may sound ridiculous but it's totally irrational and the match will just tip me over the edge.

I don't want to sound big headed but this is me...

-Awesome at school A*s all round then college and distinction*s in electronics.
-Going to the best University in the country for my subject in a week and I'm totally indifferent about it or not really bothered.
-Great at nearly any sport I try, GB team in two different sports (different time obviously) and GB junior champ for both with a lot of others that I have competed at county level with only a few hours coaching.
-I like the think of myself as an artist rather than engineer as I really love designing.

I'm physically fit and healthy so some might say I have the world on a plate however I couldn't feel anymore different from that right now.

Currently I can't get any enjoyment from anything and my sport is going down hill. Designing HiFi used to do it for me but now depresses me further because I want to do it but can't afford to build anything. The reason I say artist when it comes to designing the products is because it's emotional for me and so no being able to do it really hurts.

There's a huge amount more too, like my irrational obsession for perfection in things I do and other things.

I would like to talk it through with a psychiatrist - I have got to that stage.

I don't really know why I started this thread I just really need to get it off my chest.
Click to expand...

The part that I made bold is completely normal and I know exactly what you mean, it doesn't even have to be anything major it can be failing to do something to someone saying something, heck I'll come out and say it sometimes things people say on here send me over the edge...

It seems that design engineering really is where you belong to be, perhaps a Product Designer try and get into that area I'm sure if you built up a portfolio and took it to someone you'll get your break somewhere.

Talking it through with someone will help though :)

e; As everyone says I wouldn't label it depression until you can talk it through with a professional but moods changing can be depression, it is one of the symptoms of things like Bipolar but it needs more than one symptom to be it :p Things can very easily tip people over the edge and into a depressed state.
 
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try and find a job that gives you opportunity to travel. or travel and work **** jobs all other the world.
 
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