Converting in order to marry a Muslim girl.

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I have experience with this.

Don't do it, I'm sorry but the best thing to do is just leave. You're marrying a girl whose under the thumb of her parents and religion, it will get worse once you're chained to her because they will constantly tell her what to do.

Thankfully me and my wife got away from that very very quickly.

EDIT: Just to clarify, I never converted but they were trying to get me to agree and it was the only thing they'd speak to me about and they'd constantly harass my wife.

Also you need to have an understanding of how liberal/fundamental they are.

The Geezer said:
Maybe you want to read up on Christian / Catholic Missionaries, changing vast parts of the world by converting the heathens :rolleyes:

I presume you wouldn't call them conquests ?
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You mean Catholics right? They're the only ones historically who've done so through force and maybe the CofE very early on may have had some questionable missionaries.
 
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d_brennen said:
He said the practice is similar to the Catholic aversion to contraception, nothing to be offended at here, move along - unless you are Muslim, in which case you are obviously entitled, no expected, to be offended by anything and everything :)
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Nothing to be offended by but trying to bring some balance that the nature of religion they all try to convert to build up their numbers - no religion is an exception in this argument
 
zoomee said:
It's simple in Islam - There is no compulsion to become a Muslim - your choice but if you do, you must submit completely - That's the whole point of the Shahada (Proclamation of Faith) - COMPLETE belief in God, his angels and his messengers.
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Were you raised from birth as a Muslim? If you were it kind of means that your above comment is defunct. You had no choice in the way you were raised, and by the time you were of an age to make informed decisions you would have been indoctrinated already. So there is not real choice. To refuse Islam would put you in a very difficult position - as it would mean turning your back on your family whom you love. So do those raised as Muslim make the Shahada for pure and free reasons with no other deciding factors? Or do they make the Sahada, in part, because to continue the life they have known since birth, and remain part of their family, they have no other choice?

My problem with all religions is the indoctrination of young and impressionable minds, but also ill educated minds. I think the decline in attendance in Christian churches in this country is possibly down to the fact that we have a fantastic education system that is free for all.

Because of this, more and more people are questioning religion and not liking the answers. They may be seeing religion for what it is - a tool to control people and not at all necessary.

Anyway, I digress.

To the OP, I think its a tough position to be in, but you love the girl, not her religion (and it sounds like she does not particularly love it either?). The Sahada, for you, would be an insult to her and her family and their faith if you were to make it for any other reason than you want to be a Muslim. Also, if you do convert and don't commit to it fully - you may find yourself on the wrong end of some family/community retribution (in whatever form that may take).

If you are only doing it so that you can marry, I think it is probably unwise. That is not to say it couldn't work - but I think it may turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life.

If she loves you, she should understand, and certainly should not expect it from you. Also, if she truly loves you and sees you as her future - she will walk at your side as you walk away. If she does not - she does not love you enough.

Cheers

Buff
 
You know you can convert and do what half the muslims in the uk do anyway.........pretty much anything you like.
 
zoomee said:
Look up what the actual word Islam means....

Religion isn't a joke - The WHOLE point of Islam is that you submit COMPLETELY to your Lord, (not just for a chick) - one does it for one self.

It's simple in Islam - There is no compulsion to become a Muslim - your choice but if you do, you must submit completely - That's the whole point of the Shahada (Proclamation of Faith) - COMPLETE belief in God, his angels and his messengers....
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Yes,and if the Demon Allah tells you to bomb the Kuffars and fly planes into buildings then you do this without questioning....

The sooner Islam disappears off the face of the Earth the better.

So,OP,run from that woman as fast as can.....
 
BuffetSlayer said:
Were you raised from birth as a Muslim? If you were it kind of means that your above comment is defunct. You had no choice in the way you were raised, and by the time you were of an age to make informed decisions you would have been indoctrinated already. So there is not real choice. To refuse Islam would put you in a very difficult position - as it would mean turning your back on your family whom you love.
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and under sharia law you're technically supposed to be killed for apostasy :eek:

so yeah essentially not much choice if you're unlucky enough to have been born into a Muslim family
 
Listen OP, as a devout-ish Muslim, I need to tell you - the path to Islam needs to be true for every individual - THERE IS NO COMPULSION in the religion. If you are only doing it for the sake of the marriage, you need to seriously re-evaluate.

I know of plenty of people who have done something similar in the past, and even one who has become more devout than I have ever been, but I sincerely believe that to take the path you are suggesting requires much more introspection and "research" on your part.

What I can tell you unequivocally is that no matter what the faith of you or your partner, making one-sided sacrifices to satisfy another person's requirements can become a very slippery slope indeed. Whatever happens, do what YOU choose, what you think is right, on your own terms.
 
al4x said:
Bottom line for me
I'd do it to keep the peace on the understanding that my partner knew my true motives
I wouldn't deceive my partner
If she needs you to convert to be with you.. Well.. I would have issues tbh and question the outcome of such a relationship.. You can't (well you can with brainwash) make someone believe
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If it'll make her family happy (and therefore her), what do you have to lose by converting (in name only)?
 
Actually Islam is a joke, many shouty inhabitants of dust bowls run around saying they are the best Muslims ever whilst doing stuff that even dumb infidels can see is blatantly unIslamic.
If you can memorise the Koran you get to be an imam and make lots of other people to do whatever you want and say it's in the name of Islam too, which is either awesome or hilarious dependant on your point of view.

(not being biased here, evangelical Christianity is a joke too for exactly the same reasons)

The downside of converting to Islam is that it is one way, if you change your mind later other Muslims can kill you (dependant on local laws) for changing your mind. Kill you in a peaceful way of course, like beheading or something.

Don't worry about the drinking and the sex with loose girls, other Muslims do that too, they are not completely stupid.



Also, bacon, who in their right mind gives up bacon for a girl?
Makes no sense.
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best stupidity award i say...
 
dowie said:
not (in theory) necessarily true for people born into it tbh...
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maybe not in their early years, but there will come a time in their life when they can make the choice for themselves, even if its not an easy one and they seemingly have at to lose e.g family, respect from the community etc.
 
dowie said:
not (in theory) necessarily true for people born into it tbh...
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I would dispute this. Anyone who is afforded the ability to question, to find answers that one is comfortable with, to apply the intelligence provided by (if you believe) the Almighty - will have had the moment or moments when they decide if and how they truly want to follow the Faith. In their childhood, in their teens, in their adulthood, in their old age.

I have oscillated from non-practicing to fairly devout, to whatever I am now. I am comfortable with it precisely because of the fact that I know that the only One who can judge me is God. Ergo there is no compulsion on an individual that they themselves do not make mandatory upon themselves.

EDIT: And just to be clear, this is my opinion/POV, based on my own experiences. I don't presume to speak for an entire religion/people/anything else.
 
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