Losing contact with mates who have girlfriends/wives/kids

I saw my friends much less when I got together with my girlfriend, but still made a point of being out whenever possible. That however was student life, now that I work full time and have little free time to spend, I tend to prefer to spend it with the most important person.

It's not a matter of being "under the thumb" or anything else like that. It's a choice I make based on what I want.

Though having said that, I've made a point of going to all "big" occasions when invited.
 
CREATIVE!11 said:
when girl cheats on him don't be there for him.
I'd never do it to my friends for a girl EVER AGAIN
His gf has probably moaned at him and he's a sackless wonder and a total *******. Absolutely hate guys like that, luckily none of my friends ever have done that kind of ****....LAME.
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All right Hitler chill out.
 
Redgie said:
I saw my friends much less when I got together with my girlfriend, but still made a point of being out whenever possible. That however was student life, now that I work full time and have little free time to spend, I tend to prefer to spend it with the most important person.

It's not a matter of being "under the thumb" or anything else like that. It's a choice I make based on what I want.

Though having said that, I've made a point of going to all "big" occasions when invited.
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Same here, if you have to argue to go out and want to be away from your other half all the time then she probably isn't for you!

I still see my friends a reasonable amount, but I consider my wife my best friend and would rather spend time with her than anyone else.
 
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godinman said:
Same here, if you have to argue to go out and want to be away from your other half all the time then she probably isn't for you!

I still see my friends a reasonable amount, but I consider my wife my best friend and would rather spend time with her than anyone else.
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This^ In a nutshell.
 
OH never says that I can't go out (unless there is something already arranged that I have not registered, which happens because I zone out) and likewise for her. Normally we just can't do as much as we have the 2 boys and their stuff, and with me the sole driver if they need to get somewhere or something needs to happen I will be the taxi.

Guy at work though recently popped out a kid, or his mrs, and he never makes it out for beers now, it's the proper last minute "Fancy a drink?" when his Mrs is obviously out or something, but I can't just go then as I need to plan stuff.
I used to love a spontaneous bugger off out at 10pm spur of the moment, but now it's a lot more planned.

I don't think she's ever stopped me going out, or we wouldn't be married. She just gives me **** for acting like a pussy with a hangover ha
 
My girlfriend seems to hate me doing anything that doesn't involve her. We recently had an argument because I wanted to go to a friends house party instead of seeing her. (I see her Fri -> Sun every week). I went to the house party anyways and it was good fun. I hadn't seen that mate in a while so it's nice to have a change.
 
Also, I love going out on the drinks with her, we don't often get a chance to do it due to sparse sitters around here, which also charge about 120EUR for the night, which makes going out together cost a tonne. She gets on with everyone of my mates, I get on with hers. It's a toss up of who is going to be the biggest helmet, so it's all good :P I'd hate for her not to have a good relationship with my mates and vice versa.
 
I don't mind not seeing friends because of commitments with their other half, usually just find other people and leave them to their own devices. They'll plan a night out if it's important. :)

What I can't stand is when their other half turns up without warning on said night outs, causing said friend to behave differently, go home early, etc...

Most of it is growing up I guess, there's plenty of time to grow up later in life though, it's not for me right now.
 
too many people obsessed that settling down is what must be done . as though its some sort of rule set in stone.

some people obviously genuinely enjoy it but everyone knows someone who seems like they are miserable but keep up appearances because ''im nearly 30 , i have to grow up'' etc.

everyone knows someone who genuinely seems afraid to be single !
 
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"andy" said:
too many people obsessed that settling down is what must be done . as though its some sort of rule set in stone.

some people obviously genuinely enjoy it but everyone knows someone who seems like they are miserable but keep up appearances because ''im nearly 30 , i have to grow up'' etc.

everyone knows someone who genuinely seems afraid to be single !
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Couldn't have been said better.

The "what next" crowd who don't know what they want from life.

Go to college
What next
Get a job
What next
Get a girl
What next
Get married
What next
Have kids, a dog and an volvo estate
What next
Die

It's archaic and pointless, people seem to do it just because everyone else does it "I'd rather be miserable with someone I don't love than single" is the attitude of my parents marriage, waste of time.

People sometimes say to me, why don't I actively look for a girlfriend, I'm not fussed about it, if I die alone and without reproducing, would it really be a tragedy? Not really.
 
Everybody has friends like this i think.

I had a couple of friends who got girlfriends and then seemed to disappear off the face of the earth. It's silly really

I don't expect them to still come out every week getting smashed like when they were single, but as long as they make an effort every now and then it's fine.

The only time it's really understandable is if they have kids. Having kids is a bit different and to be honest I would expect them to be spending their time being a good parent.
 
I too have lost friends over this. It's ****ing ********. I'm sorry, but someone has to say it. Choosing some whore over a guy you've known for years is just pathetic. I hope they're happy. Because I tell you when the woman has left them and they're on their death bed I won't be there!!!
 
Real friends are like stars. You don't see them all the time but your know they are there.

People who abandon their friends because they would rather (or need) to spend the spare time they have with their lover/family were never true friends to begin with. That's the way I look upon it. I had 100's of friends through school and college. Yet now I have a family I only ever hear from 4 or 5 of the 'real' friends I made earlier in life.
 
LOL at the really angry posts but yeah, I've been there... friends with someone since primary school, they get shacked up then I never hear from them again. It really sucks how a relationship can drive a wedge between people who were such good friends for so long. :(
 
pitchfork said:
Couldn't have been said better.

The "what next" crowd who don't know what they want from life.

Go to college
What next
Get a job
What next
Get a girl
What next
Get married
What next
Have kids, a dog and an volvo estate
What next
Die

It's archaic and pointless, people seem to do it just because everyone else does it "I'd rather be miserable with someone I don't love than single" is the attitude of my parents marriage, waste of time.

People sometimes say to me, why don't I actively look for a girlfriend, I'm not fussed about it, if I die alone and without reproducing, would it really be a tragedy? Not really.
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College isn't the best option for everyone but for most people - further education/ training is a crucial step in being able to better yourself and as a result help you earn a decent wage to give you the freedoms in life that you desire.

Yes, getting a job does come next.... Why? Because if you don't you either stay living at home forever sponging off your parents and/ or you sign on the dole and leech off of the people that found this 'what next' step in life necessary.

Get a girl....Most of us like sex, most of us like intimicay, most of us like having someone to love and who loves them back. Why you find this concept hard to grasp I have no idea.

Getting married... Not everyone does, but for those that do it, it normally is to demonstrate your commitment and love to your partner. If you are never lucky enough to feel this way about someone else, I feel a bit sad for you.:(

Most people like kids and wish to extend their family by creating another human thats half yourself and half of the person you love. I realise one night stand type accidents happen and stuff but for the scenario you have presented what I described is pretty much the norm.

I most probably will never own a volvo. You seemed to have adopted a hollywood loner persona and used a stereotype thats been mentioned in an endless amount of films and tv shows. If you're refering to owning a safe decent sized car....most do it to A) fit the members of their family in and B) protect them in the event of an accident.

None of the above is rocket science. Did you go to college/ 6th form/ do an apprenticeship? Do you have a job? You're not a virgin? If yes is your answer to these questions you're a tad Hypocritical as you're half way down your list. ;)
 
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I have a kid and a partner of 3 years, and I've just been to Spain for 6 nights without her with my friends (not a lads holiday, just a cheap escape) and regularly see my friends at home too.

Sounds like you need new friends :p
 
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