Any point buying my own home when I pay £250 Rent month

S@njay · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:00

shadow_boxer said:
Tricky situation. My wife an I are living with her parents at the moment after gerting married last year and both getting jobs close by. We live rent free and everything done for us. We can easily afford a decent house but are thinking there's just no point in rushing at the minute and are happy to save up for that perfect house. Living with in laws is a pain at times but we have the biggest bedroom (and separate office) with an en suite so not too bad at all. I think op you need to be looking to save an put money away for when the time eventually does come that you'll need to move out but as things stand, if you're happy then stay put.

Why bother getting married?

If its to then move in with parents and have someone put your socks on for you?! (not in a rude way, but you are having someone else do everything for you including finances, food shops, general house upkeep, this is something a married couple do together).

Should have stayed single until you could have a proper married life together.

To the OP, continue living as you are, but make sure you have a backup plan for the future.

tom_e · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:03

S@njay said:
Why bother getting married? If its to then move in with parents and have someone put your socks on for you?!

Should have stayed single until you could have a proper married life together.

To the OP, continue living as you are, but make sure you have a backup plan for the future.

What a daft question, what's marriage got to do with where you live?

AndrewNR · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:05

jasonsony735 said:
I mean in like 5 years time , Also hopefully with a partner but if not then maybe a joint mortgage with my brother

I just looked at my account balance and after my deductions from rent and food I am left with around about £600 to do with as I please.

Save for 2-3 years and buy a place.

Fulax · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:08

jasonsony735 said:
I just looked at my account balance and after my deductions from rent and food I am left with around about £600 to do with as I please.

Excellent, just enough to get one of those new AMD cards... :rolleyes:

S@njay · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:09

tom_e said:
What a daft question, what's marriage got to do with where you live?

Sorry, I do have a chip on my shoulder about this as it does frustrate me.

I have known far too many people who have done this, and in all cases one person is always unhappy living with the in laws.

For me happiness >money.

MooMoo444 · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:11

S@njay said:
For me happiness >money.

But money=happiness, so how can happiness>money?

shadow_boxer · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:12

tom_e said:
What a daft question, what's marriage got to do with where you live?

Precisely. Marriage got nothing to do with it. We just both happened to get job placements close to her parents place. Yes its not ideal but for a temporary measure its not too bad. Neither of us know where our permanent jobs will be until we've both completed our training etc so buying was always going to be a little tricky and renting our own place just didnt make financial sense. We're both very fortunate that we can afford a good house and have a good deposit already. I can see the ops point. If you dont have to move out right now then dont bother but certainly need to be thinking about the future.

tom_e · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:13

S@njay said:
Sorry, I do have a chip on my shoulder about this as it does frustrate me.

I have known far too many people who have done this, and in all cases one person is always unhappy living with the in laws.

For me happiness >money.

But that's nothing to do with marriage they may well have been living together for years before they got married so it would still have the same outcome if they then decided they want to save for a house and to do that had to move in with one set of parents.

jasonsony735 · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:14

S@njay said:
Why bother getting married?

If its to then move in with parents and have someone put your socks on for you?! (not in a rude way, but you are having someone else do everything for you including finances, food shops, general house upkeep, this is something a married couple do together).

Should have stayed single until you could have a proper married life together.

To the OP, continue living as you are, but make sure you have a backup plan for the future.

I don't think there is anything wrong living with parents after being married for now, If anything it is a sensible idea , save a good deposit for the you do move out as when you have children it would make sense to invest in your own home then.

postbox · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:15

S@njay said:
Sorry, I do have a chip on my shoulder about this as it does frustrate me.

I have known far too many people who have done this, and in all cases one person is always unhappy living with the in laws.

For me happiness >money.

Personally I would rather be with my girlfriend for 20 years and live together in our own place and be happy, rather than live (back again) with my parents, because (at a very presumptuous guess) the wedding left us broke.

S@njay · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:15

shadow_boxer said:
Precisely. Marriage got nothing to do with it. We just both happened to get job placements close to her parents place. Yes its not ideal but for a temporary measure its not too bad. Neither of us know where our permanent jobs will be until we've both completed our training etc so buying was always going to be a little tricky and renting our own place just didnt make financial sense. We're both very fortunate that we can afford a good house and have a good deposit already. I can see the ops point. If you dont have to move out right now then dont bother but certainly need to be thinking about the future.

If you are both happy, and can talk openly about frustrations which can be caused by living with parents then that's all good

I dislike it when one is oblivious to another persons unhappiness.

I have known people who have done what you have done, and when they did move out it added a whole new dynamic to their marriage. It is something definitely you should look forward too in a positive way.

Bennie-Mac · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:22

Your OP sounds like a bit of a boast when the reality is you are in a terrible financial situation should things take a turn for the worst. You seem to be relying heavily (read mooching) on your brother for support and spending the rest of your money living some lifestyle which isnt anywhere near suited to your level of earnings.

Start saving money or you will very likely end up in a sorry situation. You're 30 for god sake show a bit of responsibility.

The Funktopus · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:24

No advice to offer, but I've just finished retraining with a HNC in marine engineering, and have had to move back home while I sort a job out. Not that I don't get on with my mum, but having had three years of independence while I was either at college or at sea, I've found I hate living back here.

I literally cannot wait to get on my feet and get to the point of financial independence. I honestly feel ashamed being in this position at my age. (I turn 30 on Sunday)

MooMoo444 · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:25

Bennie-Mac said:
Your OP sounds like a bit of a boast when the reality is you are in a terrible financial situation should things take a turn for the worst. You seem to be relying heavily (read mooching) on your brother for support and spending the rest of your money living some lifestyle which isnt anywhere near suited to your level of earnings.

Start saving money or you will very likely end up in a sorry situation. You're 30 for god sake show a bit of responsibility.

The level of harsh in this post is off the scale!

IvanDobskey · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:29

Well you can't live in your brothers house forever can you? Also, that £250 is dead money. Wouldn't you rather be paying into your mortgage towards house ownership?

I was in this exact situation living at my parents house at 29 on 15k a year. Best decision I ever made was to buy my own house. Was tough money wise to start with but a few pay rises later and I barely notice my mortgage money going out every month

shadow_boxer · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:29

S@njay said:
If you are both happy, and can talk openly about frustrations which can be caused by living with parents then that's all good

I dislike it when one is oblivious to another persons unhappiness.

I have known people who have done what you have done, and when they did move out it added a whole new dynamic to their marriage. It is something definitely you should look forward too in a positive way.

Absolutely. I completely understand your point. Thankfully I get on pretty well with my in laws and my wife is very conscious of our situation and my feelings towards it. I know a few people who have done what we're doing and it hasn't gone down well which is why were we so apprehensive about moving in with them. It's now been just over a year and tbh thus time next year we hope to have our own place before starting a family maybe a couple of years later. I did the whole renting thing with mates after qualifying and living in the city centre and yeah it was great freedom but at the end of the day didn't have a lot to show for it. I can't wait to have a place of our own but know in the long run it would've been worth it.

Bennie-Mac · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:32

MooMoo444 said:
The level of harsh in this post is off the scale!

Nix · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:32

tom_e said:
What a daft question, what's marriage got to do with where you live?

What's love got to do, got to do with it?

BoonMonkey · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:33

postbox said:
Because when you reach 30 and have nothing to show for it, and all your friends have settled down, you'll also panic and hopefully realise that living a short sighted "in the moment" lifestyle isn't really advised. Getting on the property ladder is a good investment, better than any TV you could buy...

Personally, I'd rather stay at home another 5 years.

Why?

Because the house is in my name, as well as my brothers. There are 5 years left on the mortgage. If I were to move out, my parents would not be able to afford the house as my Dad is currently not working due to an accident at work. So I look at it as an investment more than a waste.

Besides, I can use all the goodies I'm buying now in my house/flat/whatever I get when I move out. So I'm buying the expensive items whilst I still have a chance to, which is perfectly logical imho.

Nix · 9 Oct 2013 at 15:34

The Funktopus said:
No advice to offer, but I've just finished retraining with a HNC in marine engineering, and have had to move back home while I sort a job out. Not that I don't get on with my mum, but having had three years of independence while I was either at college or at sea, I've found I hate living back here.

I literally cannot wait to get on my feet and get to the point of financial independence. I honestly feel ashamed being in this position at my age. (I turn 30 on Sunday)

Don't be so hard on yourself. Take a deep breath, get what needs to be done, done, and move on. Try and enjoy having your mother around, she won't always be.

Easier said than done, I know.