Not wanting kids and dating

al4x said:
Say two people are on minimum wage.. That's going to have a pretty big impact on your life.
I wouldn't even consider having kids unless me and my partner were on at least 30 k each. At least

It's quite arrogant to say not wanting kids is silly.
I wouldn't give a kid a good upbringing. I know this. It sounds like you think everyone should have children like a tax!
Just because you know some people who are happy/manage doesn't mean everyone will.

It's like saying it's silly for someone to not like chocolate cause everyone else you know does


I think it's disgusting when someone's family looks down on them because they want grandchildren etc. That's about the most selfish thing. As I said, luckily my parents think it's great I don'twant kids
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Fair enough but even if me and my missus were on minimum wage it wouldnt stop us from having kids. What it would mean is for the both of us to buckle our belts tight and make some sacrifices ie buying stuff that we dont really need.
My opinion and its only my opinion is that a sensible, wise couple can run a home and family on whatever means they have :).

I have friends and family that have kids but they arent making great money but yet still manage to raise their kids to the best of their ability. Of course it means that my mate may not be able to buy the latest iphone or whatever gadget he wants but you soon come to terms with that.

I know for a fact once i have kids, my extravagant spending will cease as most my money will go on making sure my kid or kids have a good upbringing. Cant promise ill buy them expensive stuff but if i have the money i will without a doubt. But im actually looking forward to buying my kid/kids things with my money as that would bring me the most satisfaction.
 
hurfdurf said:
Haha, u mad m8? Or just realising you made a silly post and don't have an answer to my rebuttal?
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LOL hardly fella, dont flatter yourself too much that you think you are important enough to answer to;).

And i do have an answer to your stupid rebuttal, if you can call it that but as i said i wont bother.
 
Yas786 said:
Cant promise ill buy them expensive stuff but if i have the money i will without a doubt. But im actually looking forward to buying my kid/kids things with my money as that would bring me the most satisfaction.
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Enjoy the peer pressure they'll have to own pink iPads in an increasingly consumerist society, and the ensuing tantrums.
 
I'm nearly 24 and my facebook feed is full of people getting married and having kids. This seems like madness to me, the last thing I want right now is kids and a serious relationship. Honestly in my current state of mind I can't imagine ever wanting these, but something or someone may change my mind years down the line...
 
XeNoN89 said:
I'm nearly 24 and my facebook feed is full of people getting married and having kids. This seems like madness to me, the last thing I want right now is kids and a serious relationship. Honestly in my current state of mind I can't imagine ever wanting these, but something or someone may change my mind years down the line...
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When anyone starts posting about kids I remove them from my feed.

One of my friends was an independent guy, had an attractive gf.. then threw it all in and got married and had kids. Now instead of taking gig photographs he takes pictures of his kids... over 1000 of them in his FB.
 
Lysander said:
Enjoy the peer pressure they'll have to own pink iPads in an increasingly consumerist society, and the ensuing tantrums.
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Pffft i have no problems with that, no means no and if they want to throw a fit then let them. But saying that, im in a position that i can buy them pink ipads and iphones if they want them but id bloody well make sure that they work for it;)...thats the difference, kids these days are spoiled little brats and get everything they want without any work...i blame the parents in all honesty because they give in to their every want or whim.

Thankfully my dad, the only good thing he ever did while he was married to my mum was teaching me and my 2 brothers the value of money. Something that i will pass onto my kids and my middle brother, who does it with his girl and boy.
 
Yas786 said:
LOL hardly fella, dont flatter yourself too much that you think you are important enough to answer to;).

And i do have an answer to your stupid rebuttal, if you can call it that but as i said i wont bother.
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Loool

K m8, good luck having those kids so your life is worth living!
 
Yas786 said:
Fair enough but even if me and my missus were on minimum wage it wouldnt stop us from having kids. What it would mean is for the both of us to buckle our belts tight and make some sacrifices ie buying stuff that we dont really need.
My opinion and its only my opinion is that a sensible, wise couple can run a home and family on whatever means they have :).

I have friends and family that have kids but they arent making great money but yet still manage to raise their kids to the best of their ability. Of course it means that my mate may not be able to buy the latest iphone or whatever gadget he wants but you soon come to terms with that.

I know for a fact once i have kids, my extravagant spending will cease as most my money will go on making sure my kid or kids have a good upbringing. Cant promise ill buy them expensive stuff but if i have the money i will without a doubt. But im actually looking forward to buying my kid/kids things with my money as that would bring me the most satisfaction.
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Surely it must take some of the fun out of it if you are literally on a shoe string all the time?
I genuinely do not know how two people on minimum wage can do it, i really dont. I m not sure how much benefit you would get but the childcare costs.. i dread to think

Thats nice that you get genuine satisfaction out of that. And if i felt like that myself i wouldnt obviously miss spending on myself. It would be interesting to know how many people regret kids but would never say to anyone. There must be a fair few. I guess this inevitably gets eroded over time otherwise you would be miserable forever.

There are some quite extreme views in this thread for and against.


If i had to choose between a miserable girlfriend who didnt want kids and a lovely gf who did i would choose the later. Its all a measure of personal happiness for me
 
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Everyone will want kids at some point in their life. Why don't you just date the women who put 'maybe one day' as a preference? They aren't going to try and dupe you into having them before you're ready :p
 
Tom_ed1987 said:
Everyone will want kids at some point in their life. Why don't you just date the women who put 'maybe one day' as a preference? They aren't going to try and dupe you into having them before you're ready :p
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Spot the person either trolling or who didn't read the thread! :rolleyes:
 
Tom_ed1987 said:
Everyone will want kids at some point in their life. Why don't you just date the women who put 'maybe one day' as a preference? They aren't going to try and dupe you into having them before you're ready :p
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99% of women put "Want Kids" 0.5% is maybe and .5% is no.

If you asked me what would convince me to have kids? Probably meeting the perfect one, pay off my house and earn 100K per year minimum.
 
triggerthat said:
99% of women put "Want Kids" 0.5% is maybe and .5% is no.

If you asked me what would convince me to have kids? Probably meeting the perfect one, pay off my house and earn 100K per year minimum.
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... and then giving them away.

McGray said:
I'm 32 and my wife is 30. Since the start of our relationship it's been pretty clear neither of us want children at any point in our lives.

I prefer money and world travel. :p
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My wife is exactly the same. We want to be able to go anywhere, at any time and do whatever we want and have no ties. There's too much to do to be tied down.
 
I'm really lucky that my girlfriend feels the same way about kids that I do (doesn't want them, never has) as it means that we can plan for our future both knowing that the other isn't going to suddenly spring the idea of breeding. For reference I'm 33 and she's 31.

It's not been easy. We've lost touch with some of our friends over the years simply because they've had children and we haven't which means our lifestyles and disposable incomes are now wildly different. On the other hand all of our really close friends know also don't want children at any point so it seems the hard part is over!

Then there's the whole attitude of society that if you decide not to have children then you're obviously a selfish monster who adds nothing to the world. It's pretty easy to forget all that though when you take 4 or 5 holidays a year whilst everyone's kids are at school ;)
 
FishFluff said:
I'm really lucky that my girlfriend feels the same way about kids that I do (doesn't want them, never has) as it means that we can plan for our future both knowing that the other isn't going to suddenly spring the idea of breeding. For reference I'm 33 and she's 31.

It's not been easy. We've lost touch with some of our friends over the years simply because they've had children and we haven't which means our lifestyles and disposable incomes are now wildly different. On the other hand all of our really close friends know also don't want children at any point so it seems the hard part is over!

Then there's the whole attitude of society that if you decide not to have children then you're obviously a selfish monster who adds nothing to the world. It's pretty easy to forget all that though when you take 4 or 5 holidays a year whilst everyone's kids are at school ;)
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Perfect example as to why Yas786 is oh so wrong in his dismissal of that kind of reasoning as silly. Enjoy life dude, congrats to not bowing to peer pressure. I would double check with the partner to make sure she feels the same way because as I mentioned, around mid 30's the desire to procreate can come up very swiftly in some women, I've seen the complete 180 myself.
 
triggerthat said:
I'm 28, I have a good job and I'm happy with how things are. I've started dating and most women I come across (seeing profiles on online dating) want kids.
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What are you thoughts on women who already have kids? You are of an age group where there will be plenty of women who already have kids but don't want any more. And very close to an age group where you could meet a woman with kids old enough to know that you are mum's boyfriend and in no way a father etc.

For me it just happened at the right time. I was 32. I'd never really thought about kids then my daughter came along. It seems a good age in many ways. I'd had almost a couple of decades of being my own person with games/mates/pubs/girls/night clubs etc but still young enough to do things with my daughter. I couldn't imagine having a child at 20.

I know you say that you don't want kids but I almost guarantee you that if you did have one, you would change your mind. Trying to compare your own child to someone else's is like trying to compare a person on the street to your own mum or dad.

My daughter will be 3 in a couple of weeks and as silly as it sounds, I feel proud every time we are somewhere public and I'm busy paying for something etc and she is in the background shouting "DADDYYYY" The amount of things they do that make you happy is endless. Even daft things like her squeezing her eyes closed and saying "I can't see you, I can't see you"

The things that might seem boring soon become very satisfying. Only today I was at a play centre with her and in a ball pool. She thought it was the funniest thing every me covering her up with the balls. I must have buried her 20 times over. She was laughing her head off the whole time. The list is endless and she is my best friend
 
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