I think there are several sides to the argument.
Biologically, not reproducing can be either a boon to the species or not. For example, those with serious genetic disorders who reproduce weaken the gene pool. Likewise, those alpha type couples who are physically and mentally perfect strenghten it (or should do).
I am speaking purely of my own experiences now, but the main arguments I used against having kids were selfish, by their very virtue.
I dont want to give up
my time for a child
I dont want to have to spend
my money on anything else but
me
I dont want to hassle
my life and prefer a 'carefree' life for
myself
I hate kids, and simply cant tolerate their impact on
my life
I dont want
my sleeping pattern interrupted by children
etc etc.
Which is fine - but fundamentally selfish. I also hazard a guess that many of the people who stick rigidly to such an outlook struggle to hold down a relationship because of their lack of willingess to accept any infringment on what they see as their way of life - but if they are happy in themselves, more power to them. Likewise I would have struggled, but in my current relationship I have compromised and I genuinely feel no worse off for it. I guess for me it has just been a change in perception, and a realisation that actually living life purely for me was quite lonely. Perhaps my biology had a part to play, I dont know, but I got tired of waking up on my own each day and having nobody meaningful to share life with. That was maybe the first step.
As I said, I am not sure why I changed my mind, but I did. Perhaps it was due to spending more time with children and learning how to behave around them. I used to be one of those people who said "I dont do kids", but looking back basically what I meant was I had no idea how to behave around them, so avoided them, or felt akward in their company. I took the path of least resistance because it was easier.
Certainly I think caring less about my own image and what others think of me has helped greatly - particulalry with behaviour around children. It is for the same reasons I can now happily get up and dance in front of everyone, even though I am rubbish at it. I am what I am am, and I am now secure in that wheras a few years ago I wasnt. I can now happily be silly and do daft things in front of people without feeling like I am somehow less of a man. Overall I think I took myself far too seriously before.
I also think the love of a good woman has had an impact on my life too. She has helped me realise that life has more to it than me, and actually doing things for/with other people is very rewarding. I guess there is a philisophical debate to be had about the selfishness of philanthropy, but that is for another discussion!
Overall, if people dont want children that is their choice, but having the benefit of hindsight I cant help wondering how many of them are perhaps afraid, or maybe take themselves too seriously, just like I did?
I think the greatest gift we possess is life, and being involved with creating one, and nurturing one is surely the greatest achievment someone can make? Or at least that is something I have come to believe in recent years.
I guess a lot of it is based on a persons perception, but from my own experience I know perceptions can and will change.
I wont ever berate someone for not wanting children, but as I mentioned in a previous post - I would advise them to never say never. Live live with an open mind, and who knows what will happen
I think biologically speaking, though, not reproducing when you are able to could be seen as not doing your bit for humankind (*runs*)
