Soldato
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- 30 Sep 2005
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- 16,834
How do I meet women?
- Thread starter craptakular
- Start date
Man of Honour
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- 5 Jun 2003
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- Falling...
Your metabolic rate slows the less active you are - if you eat more than your expending you'll gain weight. IT doesn't matter if it's healthy or not.
not sure that'd work if he was 19st
OP get to the gym and start exercising if not you can get a bike/start jogging and/or even do exercises at home.
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My general advice would be to obviously echo some of the things that have been said on here.
Honestly though, you need to make yourself feel good before you even think about relationships. If you don't love yourself to begin with, its not possible to love anybody else.
I find that its best not to always actively be looking for companionship. That will generally lead you into the wrong kind of relationship. Instead, just take each day as it comes and let things happen naturally! (speaking from experience... it will happen when you least expect it!)
As to where/how to meet women. Online dating isn't to be frowned upon, whilst I've not personally used it as a way to get a girlfriend I have met people from the internet and had relationships through it.
Get out there, if weight is something you are worried about, then sign up to a gym. They are quite cheap nowadays too. This can also be used to meet/get talking to people. not just women either.
Diet is also important. Don't do one and not the other! Might sound odd, but my mum does Slimming World 'stuff' and has made new friends through that as well. Not all women that go there are just chubby old ladies either, I've met a few of them and I've thought "bloody hell, not bad!" late 20's mid 30's etc... two birds with one stone there matey!
Hope this helps somewhat!...
Hope this helps
Honestly though, you need to make yourself feel good before you even think about relationships. If you don't love yourself to begin with, its not possible to love anybody else.
I find that its best not to always actively be looking for companionship. That will generally lead you into the wrong kind of relationship. Instead, just take each day as it comes and let things happen naturally! (speaking from experience... it will happen when you least expect it!)
As to where/how to meet women. Online dating isn't to be frowned upon, whilst I've not personally used it as a way to get a girlfriend I have met people from the internet and had relationships through it.
Get out there, if weight is something you are worried about, then sign up to a gym. They are quite cheap nowadays too. This can also be used to meet/get talking to people. not just women either.
Diet is also important. Don't do one and not the other! Might sound odd, but my mum does Slimming World 'stuff' and has made new friends through that as well. Not all women that go there are just chubby old ladies either, I've met a few of them and I've thought "bloody hell, not bad!" late 20's mid 30's etc... two birds with one stone there matey!
Hope this helps somewhat!...
Hope this helps
- Joined
- 7 Jan 2007
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- 10,607
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- Sussex, UK
I dont have a confidence or self asteem issue, I am not mentally ill, I have a good career where I wouldn't get on if I had no confidence or self esteem.
I'll cut out the take aways and get me a bike, then next year try and find a wife.
I'll cut out the take aways and get me a bike, then next year try and find a wife.
Every pot has its lid... If you're as you say, fat, then there's a fat girl out there for you, who's got a good career, perhaps not a cat walk model, but with a good personality.
Don't aim too high, but don't aim too low either. Keep it real, and chat to girls, who are in the same predicament as you, and you'll find your sweetheart.
This.
People who think OP's problems will disappear if he loses weight are being horribly optimistic. Sure, being fat can hurt your confidence (badly), but you don't become the life and soul of the party by dropping a jeans size.
At various points in my life I've been pretty fit and active. I've never been confident.
As others said, lose the weight for yourself. Not for women. Lose it because you'll feel healthier, be able to do more, have more energy, etc.
Being confident at work does not mean you are confident at play.
Perhaps visit your GP or a dietitian to get some cold hard facts about your current level of health and it's implications.
Follow their advice regarding diet and lifestyle.
Join a gym or some exercise classes and get the advice of the professionals there too.
Maybe jump in the Sports sub forum and read some of the personal development threads for inspiration.
Stick to all the advice given; there are no easy fixes or shortcuts but know this: it could make you the happiest you have ever been.
Follow their advice regarding diet and lifestyle.
Join a gym or some exercise classes and get the advice of the professionals there too.
Maybe jump in the Sports sub forum and read some of the personal development threads for inspiration.
Stick to all the advice given; there are no easy fixes or shortcuts but know this: it could make you the happiest you have ever been.
Associate
- Joined
- 14 Jul 2010
- Posts
- 18
From experience, and bear in mind I am a blunt person, the simple truth is that people are shallow.
Unless you are blessed with making people crack up left right and centre from your sense of humor, they will judge you on looks alone. Online you will get judged on looks alone completely: On POF etc they will delete your message without reading it.
Now the way to win at this is to do exercise, and diet properly.
I am sorry if that hurts you, but I am in the same position. What I have learnt though, is that people North of just below Birmingham are a lot more polite and less judgemental than people in the South. Especially Plymouth and Truro... you seem to get physically pushed out of the way if you don't look like a model, let alone ignored.
The great thing about the solution is it actually makes you healthier and benefits every part of your life. The other great thing about going from fat - fit, is that you know who the shallow people around you are, so when they hit on you, it is easier to ignore them.
Unless you are blessed with making people crack up left right and centre from your sense of humor, they will judge you on looks alone. Online you will get judged on looks alone completely: On POF etc they will delete your message without reading it.
Now the way to win at this is to do exercise, and diet properly.
I am sorry if that hurts you, but I am in the same position. What I have learnt though, is that people North of just below Birmingham are a lot more polite and less judgemental than people in the South. Especially Plymouth and Truro... you seem to get physically pushed out of the way if you don't look like a model, let alone ignored.
The great thing about the solution is it actually makes you healthier and benefits every part of your life. The other great thing about going from fat - fit, is that you know who the shallow people around you are, so when they hit on you, it is easier to ignore them.
[TFU] Thegoon84;25153586 said:
Yeah, Goon has it all right here.
Don't lose weight to find girls, because you will invariably split up with one, you need to train your mind so that you don't comfort eat because of bad emotions, you do this by eating and exercising properly through the good and the bad.
I was 27 stone at one point (I am 6ft 8'), now I am 21/22 and my goal is 16, the more I lose the happier I get
Well, you can. If you exercise well enough you could eat a pretty poor diet really. Not that it would be advisable.
I disagree tbh. If OP really is wanting to look for a relationship and it mean's so much to him then maybe he needs that as his motivation.
But to be honest finding somebody is such a luck of the draw in my opinion. Just happened to stumble across somebody i had briefly talked too before and turns out they are amazing and we hit it off.
You'll get there either focus on the fitness and try and find somebody or wait it out and it'll come eventually.
Soldato
- Joined
- 9 Dec 2009
- Posts
- 5,427
- Location
- Bristol
Where is the Forever Alone pic?
GD this is not good enough, I just skimmed through the entire thread and there isn't one.
GD this is not good enough, I just skimmed through the entire thread and there isn't one.