Girl turned slightly bunny boiler...

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Vidar

Vidar

Vidar

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Thursday night I got chatting to a girl via an online dating site. We'll call her Jess. She seemed great, single, a none smoker, a good job as a teacher, own home, own car etc etc. Ticked all the boxes that are the basis of which I think are important although not essential.

Myself and Jess, really seemed to hit it off and by Saturday I'd arranged a date but was worried about it due to the state my finances are in. I spoke about this on the phone to her on Sunday as we agreed it would be good to talk on the phone a little before meeting up Friday coming. Through the course of the conversation she invited herself over to my place (last night) and although I was dubious about the prospect I agreed. I'm a big boy and can look after myself.

Well first problem was that she had lied about her appearance, the pictures she'd sent where all head shots and she was quite a bit larger than she had told me. That in itself is not so much of a problem as its personality that is most important to me. We watched a film and where getting on great so I kissed her and well one thing led to another and we ended up having sex.

In a word it was awful, I know this sounds horrible but it had nothing to do with her being a larger lady or being nervous it just felt that there was something wrong about it (I've never been one for casual sex or one night stands) and I didn't really enjoy myself.

The next thing I know she is talking about how my flat needs a womans touch, wondering if she has clothes in the car so she can stay the night and wants to know if we can meet up the following night (today) and other nights during the week when I'm free as she can come over more prepared next time....
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Not only that but she then wont stop attacking me with kisses, now I'm a pretty affectionate guy but this went beyond affection to the point of being scarily needy which made me mightily uncomfortable and when I politely suggest that she tone it down a little she got really quiet and started sulking so I reassured her that I wasn't planning on just using her for sex. And I'm not, I don't like to do that, I don't want to be the guy who uses someone for his jollies and then discards them but to be honest she's totally freaked me out now!

I mean I definitely was attracted to her at first, despite the lies of omission in regards to her size, but then all this other stuff that has come flooding out afterwards is totally unattractive and makes me really not want to see her again.

I've been totally honest with her, from the get go that I would like and feel ready for a relationship but want to take my time (yes I know having sex isn't exactly slow, but I never planned it) and that I'm not just looking for sex. I've even told her that she really worried me with how she was afterwards and although she says she wont do that again I'm not inclined to believe her.

I'm thinking a slow fade manoeuvre, as I don't want her to feel used, don't want to string her a long but I'm just not feeling it now and don't want my life totally invaded...
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Suggestions? Anyone else had something similar happen, how did you handle it?


Just to add, she kept doing this "puckering up" thing with her lips every time she wanted a kiss and It really got on my nerves... felt an urge to punch her every time she did it actually.... lol
 
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Vidar said:
yes I know having sex isn't exactly slow
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Vidar's love is like Vidar's law: hard and fast.

This thread reminds me that being single ain't all that bad. Though my suggestion to you would be to get rid ASAFP - she's clearly mental and every minute she continues to think you two are an item just further severs her already tenuous grip on reality.
 
This is the problem with fat chicks. They're so glad that anyone will pull apart their chopped liver that they'll be all over you after the first time. This won't end well. I'd just get out of it. She probably looks like Jabba the Hut first thing in the morning
 
She sounds VERY clingy and needy so no matter what you do now or how you play this out she's going to think you've used her sex.

Even though you know you haven't, the irrational, dumb, weird woman logic will override everything else and she'll hate you for it!

Just be straight up with her over the phone or the next time you meet rather than stringing it along any longer than needed. Saves your time and hers!
 
Sounds like you are not attracted to her from the start and you just looking for other factors to try and blame for the lack of attraction. Not that i am calling you shallow just trying to interpret what you are saying. Look at this way, if you was attracted to her would you be thinking the same thing about her kisses and what you consider as over the top interest so early in the relationship? If there is no attraction there then nothing is going to change that i don't think. From the sound of things, this is sort of how i felt when i was with a prostitute, in the sense that i had sex but i was not realy that attracted to her so it seemed forced and i felt awkward. I think it probably says that you prefer a deep connection which you don't think you have with this girl, while some guys don't realy require that. Those are the guys that use girls for sex. I think i am similar to you in that regard, if i am correct that is. Just get out what you can from the relationship and then call it off. If she gets hurt not much you can do about that.
 
Lysander said:
They're so glad that anyone will pull apart their chopped liver that they'll be all over you after the first time.
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This made me feel quite tom dick.

Look, if you dont fancy her and she annoys you already, there is no point in prolonging the agony. Just be straight with her and then quickly hide any bats, knives, pots or giant rodents you have about the house.
 
dude she's needy, immature, irritating and worst of all FAT (jokes!) - you don't want it. just be up front with her, tell her you need more space and let her come to terms with it... if she can't buck up and, more importantly, get on the treadmill (jokes!) then drift away

B@
 
Oooh Lysander that is cruel. Slightly true though.

It's a tricky one mate - she is probably very nice once the dust settles. But she sounds really desperate to connect with anybody and the sex has probably made her feel amazing. She has probably told all her mates (if she has any) that she is in love etc etc. having said that, she must be of reasonable intelligence. So maybe you should relax a little and see what happens..
 
Lysander said:
This is the problem with fat chicks. They're so glad that anyone will pull apart their chopped liver that they'll be all over you after the first time. This won't end well. I'd just get out of it. She probably looks like Jabba the Hut first thing in the morning
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PMSL :D

But this is so so true, my mate did a fat bird once whilst he was drunk and it turned out to be the worst experience for him ever lol.
 
So you ploughed her jelly bean? Why? you dont seem like you was even physically attracted to her in the first place.

You honestly seem like you made the split second decision on the night to go screw it ill just slide my sausage in her baps tonight and see what happens.

Never compromise bro never compromise.. stuff like this happens otherwise lol.

Is she that ugly or large though?
 
Vidar said:
Well first problem was that she had lied about her appearance, the pictures she'd sent where all head shots and she was quite a bit larger than she had told me.
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This is where the problem began, this is also where the problem should have ended.

Open door - Look - Close door - Laugh it off and tell the internets - Get on with your life.
 
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