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Liquiduk

Liquiduk

Liquiduk

Associate
Joined
19 Nov 2010
Posts
1,740
Location
London
Hello chaps!

I thought I'd take the time to vent and take in some opinions and thoughts on something that has been on my mind heavily for the past three months and am open enough to speak about it to you guys. A bit of back story on myself, I am 19, have been in full time employment for 2 years, in a long'ish term relationship (4 years) an interest in computers/games, a big lover of music in the house/garage scene and am not ashamed to admit an mdma user in a decent caring friend circle on the weekends (mentioned this as it may hold some key points for discussion).

So as a usual lad growing up going through school and a year at college which I scrapped to achieve very little in and was kicked out after the first year, I found myself with not a lot of options but knew I wanted to get out of education and in to something fulfilling and worthwhile. I spent 6 months working in Tesco to be able to earn my own money and decided to put myself forward at the local job centre to push for a career. This luckily got me an interview at my current place of work - Starting off as an apprentice in the 1st line operations department which covers remote IT/Voice support for our client base on a first call basis, I cannot stress how much I have thrived as a person and my Cisco, Aastra & Microsoft knowledge has come on great I feel I have progressed greatly. 4 pay rises + completing my apprenticeship and a year and half later I feel I have hit the wall. My desire to improve at work and as a person is now non-existent, over the past 6 months I have gotten myself in to some debt with gambling and poor money management & believe I am suffering with a form of depression in some regard - It's the stress that is really doing me in. I wake up a lot of time and just think I should do something completely different and pack it in.

I have spoken to colleagues/mates at work and I have outlined my lack of motivation and general drive for the job, they see it as well I am dead quite at work, just get on with it and aren't coming out of my shell as much as I used to because I just don't enjoy it - The misses is great and is telling me to pull myself together as there are people in far worse situations than I am.

In short, I have put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best I can possibly be but am burnt out at this point at the tender age of 19 which I am sure seems ridiculous.
 
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For a start drugs like MDMA will not help your mental state especially when it comes to feeling down, knock that on the head and see how you go.
 
Liquiduk said:
I wake up a lot of time and just think I should do something completely different and pack it in.
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Then do this ;)

Ok, it's not quite as simple as that, but it sounds like you've gotten bored with what you're doing, where you're doing it. Either look at how you can take the "next step" towards what you want to do careerwise, or even just a similar role in a different company could be a refreshing change.
 
If you are partying on the weekends your serotonin levels will be taking a dive during the beginning of the week (Tuesday blues) and will be affecting your happiness, motivation and drive.

Make it special and cut it back to once a month if you can and always on a Friday night as it gives you 2 days to recover.
 
tom_e said:
For a start drugs like MDMA will not help your mental state especially when it comes to feeling down, knock that on the head and see how you go.
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PapaLazaru said:
If you are partying on the weekends your serotonin levels will be taking a dive during the beginning of the week (Tuesday blues) and will be affecting your happiness, motivation and drive.

Make it special and cut it back to once a month if you can and always on a Friday night as it gives you 2 days to recover.
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It has been knocked on the head for a month now due to knowing the long term effects aren't going to help what so ever. Overall I am feeling better for it - I could tell it wasn't helping with my current state so appreciate that advise.
 
Liquiduk said:
It has been knocked on the head for a month now due to knowing the long term effects aren't going to help what so ever. Overall I am feeling better for it - I could tell it wasn't helping with my current state so appreciate that advise.
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The longer term effects are still relatively unknown but be rest assured, I am a teenager of the nineties where we trialed this stuff and are all relatively ok holding down respectable and a few of us very high powered jobs.

It is the short term effects that get you as you kind of feel ok but in reality you are not.

I assume you do not smoke any herbals?
 
pitchfork said:
Welcome to the real world, it's only going to get worse so man up and quit your moaning you big bloody baby.
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Actually, I'd be inclined to say it'll probably get better.

As you get older, your hormone levels will stabilise (because lets face it, at 19 you're still a teenager so they're probably all over the place).

You'll work your way up the ladder, get some more experience under your belt, likely start pulling in a better wage (giving you more opportunity out of work to do things you enjoy).

You'll (at risk of sounding cliche) "find yourself" e.g. start to learn what you like/want out of life, rather than what teachers/parents/etc. tell you what you should want.
 
Ignore the naysayers, I actually encourage some recreational drugs, LSD usage in your instance, it might mellow you out a bit.

Does me a world of good let me tell you, I know the world is a desperate terrible place of wickedness and corruption and death, but I really don't care that much about it any more.

And Haggisman, it's really relative, I've basically come to the conclusion there's no point in all this "work up the ladder, get a wife kids and dog and a volvo estate" crap. It's not for me, it's a bloody distraction from how crap everything else is in the world.
 
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The herbals will cheer you up ;) I really don't think MD will have had any effect on you like some people are suggesting. If you had it every day, then perhaps, but let's be honest, most descriptions of drug use are massively over-exaggerated, particularly if you're a habitual user.

I've had periods like this, having started working full time in September last year, after finishing university. I ended up leaving the job I had, which was bringing me down, in March this year, and am now very happy in a job that I really enjoy. Move on!
 
You're only 19. Stop taking drugs, and blaming things on the convenient moniker of depression.

If you don't like what you're doing, stop it. Go travelling and work abroad doing whatever the hell pays the travelling bill, because you'll regret not doing it later.
 
If this carries down the drugs route then I'm going to have to lock it.
Please remember our stance on drugs talk and giving out medical advice.
 
pitchfork said:
And Haggisman, it's really relative, I've basically come to the conclusion there's no point in all this "work up the ladder, get a wife kids and dog and a volvo estate" crap. It's not for me, it's a bloody distraction from how crap everything else is in the world.
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Well, that was kinda my whole point - that's what your parents/school/etc tell you what you should want out of life, now maybe you'll get a bit older and be happy with that, but maybe you wont, so get out there and figure out exactly what it is you do want, whether it's helping out with charities etc. teaching in Africa, starting your own business, or building yourself a log cabin in the woods and living off the land :p
 
Haggisman said:
Well, that was kinda my whole point - that's what your parents/school/etc tell you what you should want out of life, now maybe you'll get a bit older and be happy with that, but maybe you wont, so get out there and figure out exactly what it is you do want, whether it's helping out with charities etc. teaching in Africa, starting your own business, or building yourself a log cabin in the woods and living off the land :p
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See my only desire is to live free from the oppression of government and big business and all the crap that ruins this plane of existence.

I might as well be saying my only desire is to be a frigging caterpillar.
 
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