Do you like parties?

Derek W said:
Yet you're quite happy to sit at home and post repeatedly wanting the attention of other people of the forum.......



Can you not see whats happening here :rolleyes:
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I have absolutely no problem communicating with people one on one. But in large groups, no. And communicating on a forum is extremely different from being in a group of people. It's not a fair comparison.
 
Lysander said:
I have absolutely no problem communicating with people one on one. But in large groups, no. And communicating on a forum is extremely different from being in a group of people. It's not a fair comparison.
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it is a fair comparison. You're doing the exact same thing as most people do at parties. The forum is a place with a large amount of people, you're interacting with them, but on a forum you can reply directly to an individual in the same way you can speak to an individual at a party whilst still being in the presence of the group. Essentially you're more comfortable doing the antisocial socialising.
 
The OP :D

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Derek W said:
it is a fair comparison. You're doing the exact same thing as most people do at parties. The forum is a place with a large amount of people, you're interacting with them, but on a forum you can reply directly to an individual in the same way you can speak to an individual at a party whilst still being in the presence of the group. Essentially you're more comfortable doing the antisocial socialising.
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But it's still not the same. With a forum you can choose who you reply to. You can choose to stop replying to them at any time. And not only is this OK, it's almost normal. You can sculpt your response and be as formal, informal, jocular or as aggressive as you like. You can be yourself more, no matter if its appropriate or inappropriate. You can EDIT your own response. You have a much greater measure of control.

In front of other people - even if it's one to one - you may have to make smalltalk, you may not know how to respond to someone you are talking to, you can't just walk off, you have to create a good/funny impression. You can edit **** all. You have much less control than in a forum. Why else do you think the internet has always forced all the recluses out the woodwork?
 
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I love social gatherings. I enjoy talking to people, meeting new people, sharing stories, and hearing about other peoples lives and adventures. Hence why I enjoy reading these forums so much, I get to share in people's experiences. :)

However, as with all things, everything in moderation. I couldn't do big social gatherings every day or every week, but I still feel in my element within them.

This year we've had about 3/4 Christmas parties at work, held by different companies to which I've been. Met some interesting people and also you get to see a different part of different businesses and heck, you get free food! :D

It's not for everyone of course, that's understandable. However the more you do it the more you become comfortable being in those situations. Also, professionally it can be really helpful to career development or at least networking with the right people. In a non professional environment, it's also a great way of forging new friendships.
 
I like going to parties and gatherings, but i find i have more fun at home. My parents are like that too.
 
Lysander said:
In front of other people - even if it's one to one - you may have to make smalltalk, you may not know how to respond to someone you are talking to, you can't just walk off, you have to create a good/funny impression. You can edit **** all. You have much less control than in a forum. Why else do you think the internet has always forced all the recluses out the woodwork?
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Thats a cheery outlook you've got on life!

Not often i say this but looks like Magnolia is pretty much on the money with his first response.
 
Derek W said:
Thats a cheery outlook you've got on life!

Not often i say this but looks like Magnolia is pretty much on the money with his first response.
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It would be more accurate to say I am asocial, rather than antisocial or sociopathic. Nobody has been harmed by my nature and I've never got into any kind of legal trouble for it.
 
I never went to works parties when I was working either. The people I worked with were my colleagues - not my friends - and I was happy to keep that separation.
 
amigafan2003 said:
I never went to works parties when I was working either. The people I worked with were my colleagues - not my friends - and I was happy to keep that separation.
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Everyone has that separation, you were just more alert and acutely aware of it. No-one has any friends at work, only colleagues.
 
TheMightyTen said:
Don't judge everyone by your own social ineptness :rolleyes:
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It's nothing to do with social ineptness, as you put it. You can have a great time with your colleagues, but at the end of the day you are still at work and given the opporunity they can screw you over to get ahead. You met only because of work, and if you leave the company you are unlikely to remain in contact. We have all done the thing about, "if I leave of COURSE I will remain in contact" but most of us never do.

It's business, not friendship.
 
I love party's, so much so partying is kind of getting in the way of making grown up decisions like sorting my **** out or having kids.

The key to partying if you are shy etc... Get drunk but don't go full beans and make a tit of your self (a very fine line), practice on the run up to a party by going up the pub with a friend or two.

Oh and work party's are the best as full retard makes no difference for the very reason you have stated Lysander.
 
Lysander said:
In itself, it's not a pressure.

"X, come to partay"
"nthxk, but thanks for the offer. I'd like to be at home, I actually don't like to partay/I'm doing summat else"
"Ah OK X, no probs, enjoy it then"

But that's not what happens, is it? It always goes:

"X come to partay"
"nthxk, but thanks for the offer. I'd like to be at home, I actually don't like to partay/I'm doing summat else"
"really? But it's Xmas/so and so's birthday/my dog's wedding anniversary/Rosa Parks appreciation day"
"yeah I know, but all the same thanks, really I mean it"
"Are you sure???"
"yeah"
"but it'll be fun!"
.......................
"what's wrong with X? What a weirdo"

Or "what the ****'s wrong with you you ****ing poof?! Don't be so gay!"

Repeat for another ten people who ask you.
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Lysander said:
I always used to go to parties as a teenager, but I never really enjoyed them, in fact I would dread a lot of them. Too many people, too much social pressure, too much forced jollity, too much noise and nowhere to escape to. I got to my early 20s and then I realised that I just didn't like them, and it was OK to not like them.

As a result I haven't been to any large party for years and will avoid most social gatherings. We had an Xmas party at work this year which I also avoided.

So how about people here, are you the "life and soul", are you indifferent or do you generally run from them like the wind?
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When you are older parties are just places to chat/catchup with friends and meet new people .....whats so bad about that?

Although i admit when 90% all decide to speak german you can feel a bit of an OUTSIDER :(
 
Just do what you like and don't worry about what others think/say about you. Follow this little rule and then one day in the future you'll get a party invitation and instead of the immediate "no thanks, dont wanna go" response you may instead think "actually, yeah OK" and go on to enjoy something about the party. Life is too short to constantly be trying to live up to other peoples standards. Be yourself and enjoy what you enjoy for now because in the future, what you enjoy doing will probably be different.

For me personally it depends on what the party is. I tend to enjoy parties that have a theme attached, like Christmas, Halloween etc. But when the party is simply about getting as drunk as possible, I don't like as much because I'm not a good drinker and feel like I'm missing the party boat somewhere throughout the night :p So normally I tend to pass up binge-fests unless there's something or someone I'm interested in attending the party.
 
mrbell1984 said:
I'm glad you accept my statements. I don't tend to go to parties if they are too big small ones are OK but then you probably can't class them as parties in that case lol. I actually tend to like them over going out on a night out drinking.
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How many people is a small party?

I tend to avoid social situations with more than three other people, unless I know those people very well.
 
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