Well.. she left.

ashrobbo said:
to not throw away something so awesome (which aside from this, it always has been)
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From your point of view. In my experience when a woman leaves you its been over in her head for quite some time. You need to get her to open up to you about exactly how she feels and where she thinks the relationship is going wrong so you can work to repair it. Sometimes we get complacent and take things for granted and some woman, instead of talking about it and working it out, just leave.

Just my 2p. Good luck to you sir.

Edit: Which I see you have done, I didn't read your update before posting.
 
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I think that it's likely a bad decision, yes. Does that mean that it can't work? No.

You sound very balanced and obviously know her better than any of us do. Best of luck :)
 
I suspect that all of us in long term relationships (including you Mags) would fall over themselves to get back their partners in similar circumstances. I certainly wouldn't throw away 17 years of marriage just because the wife had a meltdown for a week. Only time will tell whether it was a bad decision or not, and even if it is, bad decisions are part of life.
 
Well, we don't know the circumstances; we have a brief one-sided version of events which contains several red flags and I disagree with your first sentence for exactly this reason. I don't disagree with your second or third, though.
 
anticonscience said:
No relationship is perfect.
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So true.

Good luck ashrobbo. Remember, it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. It's possible the torture of not knowing what might have happened may outweigh getting sacked all over again.

Building trust after something like this is always difficult though, and you'll often find yourself thinking/worrying about what's around the corner.

All the best.
 
[FnG]magnolia;25572792 said:
Bad, if predictable, decision.
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Just citing from experience (so may not apply for you) but I agree pretty much 100% with everything mag's has said so far (including this).

But, good luck & I really do hope things work out well for you.
 
If everyone threw out a relationship because the other party went bat**** crazy once in a while, then there'd be none left - it's part of the deal :D

Good luck, I hope it works out for you both :)
 
Ahh, good luck to you. There are common outcomes from these situations but that is all they are, common. Hindsight is always 20/20 and there will be plenty of people who have been through what you have and remained happily married. My aunt and uncle are the happiest married couple I know and they broke up at one point when they were younger.

Relationships are hard these days and its easy to think that there is a world of possibility out there and that you are missing out when you look at other couples but very few people are honest and open to the public about their relationships and project the image of themselves they wish others to see. Facebook is just a big boasting/attention seeking circlejerk that tricks people into thinking everyone is living the high life.

If you feel good and happy and think that you can rekindle your love then go for it.
 
We are not going to go straight back to how things were, this isn't going to be forgotten soon and we are taking our time.

Some of the issue was how we are spending our time, either watching telly or doing things apart. We are going to spend more time together even if its getting out of the house for a few hours and going for a walk. Something which we haven't done for a while due to work etc.

I cant help but worry whats going to happen next, however im more prepared mentally now if something does break down in the future (which i sincerely hope it wont).

Everybody has issues with their relationship from time-to-time. I do think people here have been burned before, and quite rightly share their experiences. I'm aware we aren't an exceptional couple as maybe I had previously thought, however that makes us human.

Again I cant stress how much you guys have helped, its a true community and I expected to get both sides, which helps a lot.
 
See you in 6 months. And I can bet you that there is more to the guy at work.

I would have ended there and then to be honest. You said there has been some mini breaks before ? Or am I thinking of a different poster ?
 
Whatever you think the chances are the OP isn't Yoda and he has to try.

Hope things go well for you mate. Breaking up with my ex after 7 years wasnt exactly easy.
 
good luck - now that you are talking about the problems together it will hopefully make the relationship stronger.
only you know whats best.
 
Good luck buddy, I hope you can work through your problems. You'd regret it more if you didn't try to salvage 9 years of relationship than if you get 6 months down the line to find you can't work through this. I have many regrets in life and it is almost always things I didn't do/say as oppose to things I did that I regret most.

Like some others have said if people just gave up on relationships whenever it got a little difficult there'd be none left. Yeah often people break up for a reason and things don't work out second time around but this is by no means the dead certainty that is often portrayed on this forum. I know many a couple that have recovered from difficult situations with hard work, communication and determination. Similarly there's a lot that haven't and whether you two will or not is down to you two as individuals and a couple and whether you can firstly get over this troubled spell and secondly rectify the problems that were there initially and re-ignite that romance. We can't judge if you'll manage that, we're just a big bunch of internet weirdos that default to "ditch her! go smash pasty!" whenever a relationship isn't 100% perfect. I do however wish you both the best and I hope it works out for you. Would be nice to get a happy ending to one of these stories for once.
 
teaboy5 said:
See you in 6 months. And I can bet you that there is more to the guy at work.

I would have ended there and then to be honest. You said there has been some mini breaks before ? Or am I thinking of a different poster ?
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Participant said:
In other words she went to him and he blew her off, so she's come crawling back ;). Now he's "not a nice person".
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Without sounding like an ass, these are my thoughts too.

He has been flirting with her at work for some time and finally worn her down and she's thinking the the grass is greener. She takes time apart to give it a try and he's freaked as he only wanted a sh@g, not a relationship.

She now sees this and as she left the door open to open you, she is crawling back.

You could say, "**** her" and move on, or you could take this as you nearly came close to losing her, obviously things are not right at home for her to be swayed in the first place and so make more of an effort with each other.

It may be the worst or best thing that could have happened to a stale relationship.
 
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