Well.. she left.

Jic89 · 31 Dec 2013 at 14:37

It will be a hard couple months for you but you'll come out of it a better person and to be honest she sounds like a typical woman, as some people have said this bloke at work has gave her the nod and she wants to see if the grass is greener.

Go to town and pull some filthy birds, pasty smash session always sorts these out.

The__Malteser · 31 Dec 2013 at 14:47

ivrytwr3 said:
Without sounding like an ass, these are my thoughts too.

He has been flirting with her at work for some time and finally worn her down and she's thinking the the grass is greener. She takes time apart to give it a try and he's freaked as he only wanted a sh@g, not a relationship.

She now sees this and as she left the door open to open you, she is crawling back.

You could say, "**** her" and move on, or you could take this as you nearly came close to losing her, obviously things are not right at home for her to be swayed in the first place and so make more of an effort with each other.

It may be the worst or best thing that could have happened to a stale relationship.

Jic89 said:
It will be a hard couple months for you but you'll come out of it a better person and to be honest she sounds like a typical woman, as some people have said this bloke at work has gave her the nod and she wants to see if the grass is greener.

Go to town and pull some filthy birds, pasty smash session always sorts these out.

Read above

Neoni · 31 Dec 2013 at 15:20

I'm gonna cause some flaming right now from this comment.

But, IGNORE EVERY SINGLE POSTER IN THIS THREAD.

Its your life, you're feelings, your decision, you know deep down what you need to do/want to do.. we can only offer advice.

Everybody is a bloody expert until it happens to them, your smack bang in the middle of all this - 9 years is a long time to throw away, over something that seems like on her part its a silly mistake.

You've told her the ultimatum this either works out, or that's it.

Take it steady, enjoy new year together, embrace the fact you've still got eachother, and its looking positive.

Heck like i said ignore this even if you like. Its your life.

Alex

[TW]Fox · 31 Dec 2013 at 16:49

[FnG]magnolia;25572792 said:
Bad, if predictable, decision.

It's much easier to suggest over the internet that somebody throws the last 9 years away as if it meant nothing and simply moves on than it is to do it in person. Whether it's a bad decision or not only time will tell, but it might not necessarily be one.

Neoni · 31 Dec 2013 at 17:02

[TW]Fox;25575425 said:
It's much easier to suggest over the internet that somebody throws the last 9 years away as if it meant nothing and simply moves on than it is to do it in person. Whether it's a bad decision or not only time will tell, but it might not necessarily be one.

Bang on!

ivrytwr3 · 1 Jan 2014 at 22:25

How's it going ashrobbo?

Hellsmk2 · 1 Jan 2014 at 23:04

wingman said:
That's a rather negative and unnecessary comment. Don’t be an arse.

.... but he's right.

Domo · 1 Jan 2014 at 23:13

Neoni said:
But, IGNORE EVERY SINGLE POSTER IN THIS THREAD.

I actually agree with you Alex - but, posting on here is pretty much an invitation for advice and such

brendy · 2 Jan 2014 at 00:03

Dammit and you had went and bought all them socks too... did you keep a receipt?

all the best, strange length of time to become over analysing though....

FunkyCowie · 2 Jan 2014 at 00:19

Neoni said:
I'm gonna cause some flaming right now from this comment.

But, IGNORE EVERY SINGLE POSTER IN THIS THREAD.

Its your life, you're feelings, your decision, you know deep down what you need to do/want to do.. we can only offer advice.

Everybody is a bloody expert until it happens to them, your smack bang in the middle of all this - 9 years is a long time to throw away, over something that seems like on her part its a silly mistake.

You've told her the ultimatum this either works out, or that's it.

Take it steady, enjoy new year together, embrace the fact you've still got eachother, and its looking positive.

Heck like i said ignore this even if you like. Its your life.

Alex

Well said

wingman · 2 Jan 2014 at 00:21

Hellsmk2 said:
.... but he's right.

Both of his points are guess work, there's simply no 'right' or 'wrong' yet.

gpuerrilla · 2 Jan 2014 at 00:32

ashrobbo said:
Got cats

This was the culprit!

On a serious note you are doing the right thing let her have her space, gives you time to reflect and make your own mind up, nothing hasty. Hell she may even u-turn and you are the one actually wanting a clean break.

You are still young, loads of time to live it up. Go out and enjoy yourself with your mates, true mates will get you through this. Like you said it's better it happens now than after wedding and having kids...

ahar · 2 Jan 2014 at 10:10

Slowing down / putting a relationship on pause doesn't always have to be a bad thing if you have been together for a while, particularly from young. My mate was with his GF for years from quite young - they had a break for around 6 months and they both realised what they meant to each other and got back together, with a healthier relationship because of it.

10 years later they're married with kids etc and still going strong.

wildman · 2 Jan 2014 at 11:08

ashrobbo said:
Update:

Well Guys, Last night was just chilling out playing the PS4 when she suddenly burst in, tears running down her face. Crying how shes sorry and she had made a huge mistake. Infact its the worst ive ever seen her.

A mutual friend had called her saying shes sorry we had split up, she came to the realization that she had lost me for good and couldn't cope. She had been a mess at work all day.

I stayed neutral, calmed her down and told her we needed to talk things through. We stayed up most of last night saying what we wanted from our relationship, ensured we were on the same page. She has some things she needs to seek help/advice on (why she over analyses every single things and makes problems out of things that really aren't) I also have to make some changes. We are going to take small steps in getting there. There's a lot happened in the past 12 months and she felt under pressure from it all. Stress affects her more then most.

We had it out about this 'other guy' It was never anything, hes a good looking guy and that all he is to her. She's pretty close to some of her work friends who all agree hes not a nice person. I believe her on this, no doubt. Like I said, she cannot lie at all. Shes on a temp contract ending in Feb anyway so she will be moving onto another workplace then.

We talked about what would happen if this happened again. I told her it would be the last straw and I wont go through it all again.

I'd like to thank everybody for their help and wisdom. I know what a lot of you said, to move on but I just couldn't throw away a relationship that has been going for so long and has the potential to be so much more. I have my eyes wide open.

SO the other bloke that was tapping her ass got bored and told her to sling her hook and now she comes back to you because she knows you are an easy number. She sounds like a parasite.

YOur eyes sound wide shut bro. I predict another post in several months of crying and gnashing of teeth when she runs out on you again. Bloke are so fickle when they get a bit of pasty it clouds their judgement. Anyway good luck with this parasitic wench...........

Bobcat · 2 Jan 2014 at 11:30

Do what you feel is right, 9 years is a long time to just throw away so good to hear that you are giving it another go, hope it all works out for you

wildman · 2 Jan 2014 at 11:41

Pookie Bear said:
If everyone threw out a relationship because the other party went bat**** crazy once in a while, then there'd be none left - it's part of the deal

Good luck, I hope it works out for you both

not if it involves pasty orientated activities with a 3rd party, then its not part of the deal. This all sounds rather convenient / suspicious by the OPs woman, there is that "guy at work" thing which is probably her getting tapped, and if that is the case then all bets are off and the deal is over..........

ashrobbo · 2 Jan 2014 at 12:02

wildman said:
not if it involves pasty orientated activities with a 3rd party, then its not part of the deal. This all sounds rather convenient / suspicious by the OPs woman, there is that "guy at work" thing which is probably her getting tapped, and if that is the case then all bets are off and the deal is over..........

Wow, wildman, I take it you've been burned before? Way to come across as a complete jerk.

Were doing great. Thanks all. New year was good fun, lots of laughs with friends as if nothing had happened. Were both talking about what went wrong and why and we are working through it.

Spending lots of time together doing as we said we would, were both happier for it.

My mates are always there for me, no issues there. My best mate was round in minutes to go get me drunk!

My eyes are wide open, I couldn't give a monkeys what you think happened. I trust her more then some bitter guy on the internet.

[TW]Fox · 2 Jan 2014 at 12:14

wildman said:
SO the other bloke that was tapping her ass got bored and told her to sling her hook and now she comes back to you because she knows you are an easy number. She sounds like a parasite.

Why do people post this meaningless macho drivel in threads like this? You've no idea whether this is the case or not - it might be but equally it might not be. They've been together for 9 YEARS - thats a very long time to just throw away.

It seems the general opinion in threads like this is that all girls are scum and it's easy to just cast them aside and walk away. Yea, right.

wildman · 2 Jan 2014 at 12:23

ashrobbo said:
Wow, wildman, I take it you've been burned before? Way to come across as a complete jerk.

Were doing great. Thanks all. New year was good fun, lots of laughs with friends as if nothing had happened. Were both talking about what went wrong and why and we are working through it.

Spending lots of time together doing as we said we would, were both happier for it.

My mates are always there for me, no issues there. My best mate was round in minutes to go get me drunk!

My eyes are wide open, I couldn't give a monkeys what you think happened. I trust her more then some bitter guy on the internet.

lol, I'll file this one away for later use..........................

wildman · 2 Jan 2014 at 12:25

[TW]Fox;25584330 said:
Why do people post this meaningless macho drivel in threads like this? You've no idea whether this is the case or not - it might be but equally it might not be. They've been together for 9 YEARS - thats a very long time to just throw away.

It seems the general opinion in threads like this is that all girls are scum and it's easy to just cast them aside and walk away. Yea, right.

because 9/10 it is correct. In relationships they hold all the cards, we just like to think that we get to play with the same deck but we don't.......