Engagement Ring, Wedding & Saving House Deposit?

If you're not in a position to be able to afford to start a family, have a wedding or what not, then wait until you are, or at least until your debts have been cleared first. Then you can re-evaluate what you want to do.
 
billysielu said:
weddings and rings are a total waste IMO

houses are not, people are not.
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Disagree. A nice wedding or ring is something that can be cherished forever.

I think it's pointless buying a house if it makes money tight unless it improves your standard of living in the immediate. Kind of drifting off topic, but if you feel the need to move to crappy location to a crappy house just so you can bring your net worth in your late 50s a few years forward..... great. Particularly so considering your salary will, ideally, continue to rise making saving for a house deposit easier.
 
Weddings don't have to cost the quoted £15k average, ours cost about £5k in a lovely venue with top notch food and all the added bits, it's easy to go nuts, but the day goes quick

Don't go with the disgusting gelatine idea it's boiled pig parts ultimately.........
 
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Get the house, propose, get married for less than £500. You can have it all, you don't need to confirm to social expectations.
 
Forget the engagement ring, just get a basic wedding bands.

Getting married is cheap, it's paying for the elaborate ceremony etc that's expensive. If you can't afford this, don't have it.

Either get married on holiday, if you take holidays.

If you must invite family, registry office, then trip to the pub with friends.
 
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Buy a second hand engagement ring; they're a lot cheaper.

Have your wedding in a registry office with a hired wedding dress, a small reception etc. Ask for money towards the honeymoon as your wedding present rather than crappy toasters you'll already have.
 
SDK^ said:
Engagement ring rules - 3x monthly salary.
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I *hate* this so called "rule". It's absolute tosh.

Buy what you want, or what you feel is worthwhile. Spending nearly 5 figures on a ring is just daft.

You can actually create a far more personal ring for a fraction of the cost. If she's only interested in how much it's worth she may not be worth it.
 
How old are you both? What is the most important thing to her?

Personally I would - get engaged, get married then save for the house and kids.

Engagement ring doesn't have to be crazy and I am sure that she would compromise on cost (not that she would know?!) knowing that the other things are in the pipeline.

Depends on what you want for your wedding as to how much budget you blow... you can do things on the cheap easily or have the big day. Either way. Engagement and wedding are 'end' costs. Once they are done the costs stop.

House and kids are not. Hence why we are getting married first (plus the fact our families are traditional).

Having said that, there are friends of ours who are engaged and have the house and are trying for kids - based on the fact that they are getting on...

Horses for courses... I guess you have to do what you think is right.

BB x
 
Mr Jones said:
We both know what we're aiming for, so it makes sense to focus on that...



Aye, the thought of just parents, siblings and a couple of close friends seems much better value than anything more grand...



I know I'm in quite a good place but I'm 28 this year. She's 26. Maybe I'm just pressuring myself to hit my goals I've got for "...when I'm 30..."



When did you start having kids? I've always thought I should have kids by when I'm 30, and as a traditionalist, I think we should be married before having kids... so that seems to add more pressure on myself I think...
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Dude, you are still super young. As long as you are having kids by the time your wife is 35 there is really no issue.

Most of my friends started their family from 32-38 and many decided having children wasn't the best thing for them. In fact I don't know anyone under 32 with children.




Secondly, weddings can be far cheaper than what you might think. You don't have to spend a fortune. A couple of hundred quid gets you some very nice rings, you can get legally married for another few hundred quid and then have a celebration at a resturant and ask the guests to pay EXPLAINING your situation.

Even if you want a bugger fancier wedding there are lots of ways to reduce costs. Choosing appropriate venues can see you paying a few hundred for the night and not a few thousand. Get a friend to do the photography (I know you must know some talented togs that would shoot your wedding as a gift), provide wine with the dinner but don't offer a free bar (or choose a location where the drinks prices are reasonable).

Also it is completely normal to stipulate you don't want physical gifts but donations to cover the wedding cost would be most welcome. I have been to 7 weddings as a guest and at 6 of them this was done, on the 7th they asked for charity donations instead. The money we received basically paid for the wedding food and drink including the bar tab.
 
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