Engagement Ring, Wedding & Saving House Deposit?

The Mrs and I got married in Vegas this year and it was the most fun I've ever had.

We were able to do what we wanted and not what others expected. No stress and relatively cheap for a wedding/honeymoon.

All in spent about £6k but that includes £2.5k on rings, we also stayed in the Wynn which bumped up the price a lot. You can really spend what you want from £1200+ as weddings out there start at £100 for all you need.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
I can't contribute very much to this in the way of advice, but I feel quite similarly to you. I'm working now, saving some money, and have been with my girlfriend for 4 years this month. I'd happily get engaged to her, but we don't live together yet and certainly can't afford a house. She'd love to get engaged right now, but if I were to buy the kind of ring she wanted and propose, I'd set back our plans to move into our own house by months!!

She knows my stance, though. I won't marry her until we have a house, and that's it. I'd stick by that if I were you :)
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I'm also in a similar position, paid off all my debts last year, and been saving like crazy the past 8 months, another 16 months to go until I've saved up the funds for a deposit we need for the house we want. She's still at Uni doing a masters and will hopefully get a job at the end of this year. Been together 6 years, and have talked about engagement, but I've always stated I want to be in a position where we are living together and able to afford a wedding before popping the question. Money is set aside for an engagement ring already, but I've always said I don't want to be engaged and living with parents! So that'll have to wait.
 
OK so in my mind

Ring = 10k
Wedding contribution = 50k
House deposit (London) = 50k

So much for enjoying my early 30s..
 
zegna said:
OK so in my mind

Ring = 10k
Wedding contribution = 50k
House deposit (London) = 50k

So much for enjoying my early 30s..
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And before anyone questions the wedding costs.. you don't know my family..

My sisters wedding cost around 400k..
 
Cheers everyone, definitely open my eyes a to my little predicament.

It's interesting how many think I am still young. Perhaps I'm putting the pressure on myself when everyone around me are getting hitched and having kids. And the whole idea of a costly ring, wedding sounds daunting - and that's not even factoring the financial implication of having kids!

Perhaps I need to exercise patience - and assuming my other half is happy for it too. We can get engage and not have a wedding yet, and once we have the house deposits sorted, then a small intimate wedding with a tight budget. Who knows, a few more years and we'll be financially better off as we progress at work.
 
I know this feeling. Luckily have the house part sorted. Saving for the tiffanys engagement ring and SLK55...possibly even kids! Most important thing is not to rush into it and to not spend money on anything that you can't afford.
 
zegna said:
OK so in my mind

Ring = 10k
Wedding contribution = 50k
House deposit (London) = 50k

So much for enjoying my early 30s..
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zegna said:
And before anyone questions the wedding costs.. you don't know my family..

My sisters wedding cost around 400k..
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Well either you or your family can afford that, or, quite frankly you're mugs if you can't.

So 50k for a wedding deposit, but only 50k for a house deposit?!

Really?
 
Mr Jones said:
Cheers everyone, definitely open my eyes a to my little predicament.

It's interesting how many think I am still young. Perhaps I'm putting the pressure on myself when everyone around me are getting hitched and having kids. And the whole idea of a costly ring, wedding sounds daunting - and that's not even factoring the financial implication of having kids!

Perhaps I need to exercise patience - and assuming my other half is happy for it too. We can get engage and not have a wedding yet, and once we have the house deposits sorted, then a small intimate wedding with a tight budget. Who knows, a few more years and we'll be financially better off as we progress at work.
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As long as you both know you are devoted to each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together the wedding really doesn't matter.
 
zegna said:
And before anyone questions the wedding costs.. you don't know my family..

My sisters wedding cost around 400k..
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Who is getting married, you, or your family?

£50k on a getting married, if you've got loads of money then great, enjoy your special day but to budget £50k for a wedding but then fret about not having money for other things just seems ridiculous.

If you've got £100k to spend on a wedding AND a house deposit then 50/50 isn't really the right split :eek:
 
Well... it comes down to whether the idea of getting married falls more down to the pair of you wishing to declare your love for each other on a "legal" level and get hitched, or have a lavish day full of spectacle, excess and decorative table placements for your families to celebrate.

"Getting married" isn't just throwing the mother of all parties. You can easily invite the family to a civil reception and then rent a function room/hall afterwards with external (or internal) catering for a fraction of the cost. You don't need fireworks in the sky, everybody's pants, and a Disney castle walkway for the bride to show that you love someone.

As to the ring, you pay what you want to pay. I'd personally get her to pick out the wedding ring, within a budget, after you've proposed... mainly because I can't stand buying clothes or jewelery for other people. I'm never sure they'll like it! :D

If she were to scoff at the thought of there being a £500 budget or whatever on her wedding ring given the bigger picture, I'd probably be reconsidering the choice of partner I had made at that point quite frankly.

I guess loads of people do love the spectacle day approach and live for that £50k "dream moment", but I think that's become more of the meaning and attraction behind the words "Will you marry me?" than recognising them as a decree of utter devotion. And that's a sorry state of affairs.
 
[TW]Fox;25595398 said:
Who is getting married, you, or your family?

£50k on a getting married, if you've got loads of money then great, enjoy your special day but to budget £50k for a wedding but then fret about not having money for other things just seems ridiculous.

If you've got £100k to spend on a wedding AND a house deposit then 50/50 isn't really the right split :eek:
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Asian family dude.. the girl pays!

So we (I) contribute 50K, and then my wife's fam should be able to afford 300-400k for the rest. So my big day will cost around £0.5m!

Stupid, yes. But as I said my family are not like normal families!
 
You can say that again! :p

I'd prefer to spend that sort of thing on a house - you wouldn't even need a mortgage then as you'd pretty much be able to buy a whole property for that!

Madness.
 
zegna said:
Asian family dude.. the girl pays!

So we (I) contribute 50K, and then my wife's fam should be able to afford 300-400k for the rest. So my big day will cost around £0.5m!

Stupid, yes. But as I said my family are not like normal families!
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That is just utter insanity.

I honestly can't think of any reason in the world to justify that. Other than having more bread than head, obviously.
 
Pestilence said:
That is just utter insanity.

I honestly can't think of any reason in the world to justify that. Other than having more bread than head, obviously.
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Maybe not quite the same league as zegna but when it comes to marriage, Asian/Far East families do it lavishly not just a celebration for the bride and groom, it's also a celebration of two families coming together and parents literally invite everyone they know. I've been to friends wedding who have no idea who the other 80% of the tables were.

Partly a face and wealth showing party to be honest. I'm Singaporean so to me it's the norm but over 10 years of living in the UK and practical mind knock the brands and wealth willy waving out of me. If we wed, it's our way (mostly likely the missus, who is down to earth) not the parents way. Plus, we're not that rich, thus not looking at parents for our wedding.

Had a good (subtle) chat last night without revealing much with my girlfriend.

Seems our priorities are aligned: House, Marriage, Kids.

Looks like once we have the deposit, it'll be time to pop the question then :)
 
Sort of half Asian style wedding here (In...19 days, eek!). Approximately £400 on flights and 7 nights in a hotel in Hong Kong (paid for by her folks), £100 for the wedding itself, £20ish for her dress and about £300 for our rings. That will just be a registry with my mum, her parents and a few of our friends who live in HK.

Back in Taiwan somewhere down the line we'll have a big party of the "we don't know who any of these people are" style, which neither of us want, but we need to do to a) Make her parents happy, and b) Collect red envelopes :p which will pay for the event, and then some.

No reason to spend huge amounts because you "should", just whatever you both are happy with :) We're not in a position to be spending huge amounts more, and we're fortunately being given a spare flat her parents own once we get back here, but we want to be married, and are both perfectly happy with this. I think basically she just sees it as a week's holiday in Hong Kong, with a marriage tacked on too :p
 
Weddings don't have to be expensive. Mine cost around 5k for 60 guests and 80 night guests. The included suit hire,dress, rings and all that garbage, you just have to pick the right time.....mine was on the 16th December 2012 for eg...winter, cost me half the amount.

zegna said:
OK so in my mind

Ring = 10k
Wedding contribution = 50k
House deposit (London) = 50k

So much for enjoying my early 30s..
Click to expand...

Yea ok....no wedding costs 400k mate, if it does your doing it wrong.
 
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