friend etiquette helping a friend and freeloaders

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As you are on benefits and needy of money just now, I would suggest selling things. I've looked on eBay for completed listing of your watch and they seem to be a bit higher than what your friend was offering. Bearing in mind eBay and Paypal fees, I reckon you'd still get about £20 at the end of the day.
 
Slobbo said:
I don't really think you just walk into Asda and start working.
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Last time I went past the local jobcenter there was a board probably 2 meters wide, and 1 meter tall CRAMMED with jobs posted on credit card sized adverts.

You know what I saw? Moochers walking past, not even bothering to look up from their phones as they went to sign on.

Granted they wernt the most glamerous, or most well paid jobs, but they were jobs none the less, and were jobs anyone could do.

I have zero sympathy for anyone on JSA and think the monetary benefits part of it should be binned. The only allowance they should get should be food coupons.
 
Metalface Mark said:
You seem to have a victims mentality though, any post that is not your point of view you go out your way to decry, you make excuses (too sick to go out, not sick enough to stop you posting for advise).
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I welcome reasoned posts that if they offer an opposing view they would help to me to see that view with evidence...none so far has..preferring instead to make defamatory comments without foundation.

Your point about being too sick to go out but not too sick to post. There is a difference between walking 5 miles to sell the watch and choosing the easier option of my flatmate (if he wanted it)


You post points that are not relevant, like giving him electrical goods has no bearing on the current situation, it is only posted to show you in a good light to sway people to your thinking that your landlord friend is in the wrong,
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I posted that because i was unsure i was being a freeloader. A friend letting you stay with them for a month rent free is pretty great of them!

same again with him being annoyed at you taking food when he lets food rot, it has no bearing on the topic at hand.
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But it does you see. True i dont have any right to any of his food at all but i just find it hard to believe he would rather have his food go rotten than let me touch any of it. This might be a particular quirk of his fair enough. The food thing isnt central to this it is just additional information (because afaik we cleared up the food thing) Do you want me to repeat my central concern again?

This is not an attack, measly a deconstruction and when you look at it in the cold light of day, you will see where you have gone wrong, not in blaming your friend for not buying your watch but by putting your friend in an awkward position, one that you manufactured so that he felt he had no choice but to accept your offer rather than see you leave your sickbed to goto cash converters. It's entirely his decision if he changed his mind and does not now want it. It's obviously an embarrassing situation for both of you.
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I know its not an attack because you used arguments. I dont think your arguments hold water but at least you gave me the courtesy of presenting some.

I dont think i put my friend in an awkward position because i told him i could easily sell it elsewhere that for me makes it easy for him to say nah no thanks bud. And it is true i can sell this watch elsewhere (gumtree, cash converters etc).

Arguments you are using are peripheral not central to this discussion. As well as the fact that each point i had already addressed to someone else in the thread so you understand it is frustrating repeating yourself constantly. Ignore that though if you dont find my counter arguments holds water either...i wait your various reasons why, thanks :)
 
arknor said:
send me your sort code and account number and I will transfer £20 so you can get some food in.

serious offer
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I've been in financial turmoil recently and just can't seem to afford this three bedroom house I've been looking at.

It's tearing me apart inside knowing I can't have this beautiful house for my family. :(
 
Could a mod emphasise this thread is not to be sidetracked thank you. I'm well aware of the negative view that a lot of people have with people on benefits (which i actually agree with) There was a large thread about it not so long ago.
 
darael said:
As you are on benefits and needy of money just now, I would suggest selling things. I've looked on eBay for completed listing of your watch and they seem to be a bit higher than what your friend was offering. Bearing in mind eBay and Paypal fees, I reckon you'd still get about £20 at the end of the day.
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Its not about the money but thanks for your input. If you check back through my posts you might glean what its about. Money is important yes...but its not the heart of the matter.
 
Efour said:
bottom line. truths

- your mate is pee'd off you are basically begging off him 24/7
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Do you mean constantly? Do you mean once a week? once a month? daily?
Like i said before yeah your right this could be it - but we had a talk about this and as far as i know it has been sorted. I apologised, i rebought some food for him and we no longer share any food at all (we used to share butter and milk) except for tea bags. Yes lately i have asked for a couple slices of bread, bit of milk and one of his sweetener tablet things but this was because of my circumstances at this time. (i explained this to him when i was asking if it was ok for me to take the food).

I suspect that no matter how much he may sympathize with my situation the taking of food (even if i have none) is basically a bugbear with him which i should appreciate because living with someone is about appreciating and understanding each sides quirks and concerns and he cant get over it no matter how desperate my situation is. Afterall it isnt his job to feed me.



- he works, you ponce his stuff. Him throwing it away is still a victory to him over you getting it.
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This makes some sense ok. Though he would need to communicate it to me otherwise im just in the dark.... Also maybe we are different like this but i would certainly rather my friend had any food i didnt want.

He doesn't want your 2nd hand tat. He feels obliged as a mate to take it just to make you feel better. He is probably sick of your situation.
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This argument doesnt for me hold any water. If he didnt want it why didnt he say? Of course i may find out later you were right...but again i am in the dark...if he doesnt tell me.


I feel sorry for you, i've been there, most people have but at the same time, get the victim mentality out of your head and get yourself sorted out.
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I dont feel i have a victims mentality but we can agree to disagree. I will say i have not had a great past year of it. But if a friend of mine was going through a really low period i would hope i could be there for them.....sometimes its the only way you are gonna know who is really your friend if they are with you and support you when are at your lowest. So its also possible i thought we were closer friends than indeed we are. Thanks for your post quite helpful :) shame u edited it out though.
 
You keep coming back with the line "if he doesn't tell me." Grow a pair and ask him what he thinks. Just don't be too hurt when he tells you something you don't want to hear.

In the mean time ditch the "poor me" act and go out and sell your watch to smack convertors or something. Don't try and guilt trip your friend into buying your second hand tat. If my friend pulled that sort of stunt on me I would think he was a grade A pillock.

You sound like a right pair of passive aggressive alphas!

/Salsa
 
Salsa said:
You keep coming back with the line "if he doesn't tell me." Grow a pair and ask him what he thinks. Just don't be too hurt when he tells you something you don't want to hear.

In the mean time ditch the "poor me" act and go out and sell your watch to smack convertors or something. Don't try and guilt trip your friend into buying your second hand tat. If my friend pulled that sort of stunt on me I would think he was a grade A pillock.

You sound like a right pair of passive aggressive alphas!

/Salsa
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1. We'd already had a discussion about the food thing and we'd agreed to bring any issues up asap. I will speak to him as soon as he gets in for clarification. Maybe he has changed his mind on being honest????

2. Not sure how its a 'poor me' act to be honest? I only have my perspective so i'm just telling it like i see it.

Your point about "guilt tripping" is null and void which you would know if you read numerous posts where i dealt with that argument.

If it isnt null and void - im still waiting on one person to tell me why...its great you having all the answers but i genuinely appreciate advice which INFORMS me (Efours advice did this) not makes you feel knowledgeable only.
 
My opinion after reading this whole thread from start to finish is that you're probably quite an irritating person to live with and he would like his own space.

Move out.

*DISCLAIMER* This is not a personal attack, I do not care enough about you to go out of my way to attack you. This is my opinion based on your posts within this thread. Take it or leave it, but please don't go for your usual reaction of crying about it.
 
Wait a second, this whole thread and all your whining and moaning has been about your mate forgetting to buy a £20 watch from you? £20?

I've found £20 on the street floor before. Just ask your mate to borrow £100 until you're in a better position financially.

I wouldn't be surprised if your mate didn't even realise he was buying the watch so you could afford to buy food.
 
Surfer said:
But you dont bother to substantiate your post when i asked you to.

^^^
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I apologise that I didnt spend the time articulating my post long enough for you to understand...:confused:

I feel for you on the job front, Glasgow is rubbish for jobs! (I believe in the top 10 worst palces in uk for employment..)
 
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