Online Gaming/Age - Your thoughts

Musty Pie

Musty Pie

Musty Pie

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Morning all you Console fans.

Before we get started I did a search and found a few topics from years past discussing similar things in this section of the forum but thought we could start a new one to see if peoples opinions or viewpoints had changed at all over the years.

I very rarely start threads so go easy on me :)

The reasoning behind starting this thread was spurred from another one reference a forum users son (10) getting banned from XBL.

I am not a parent myself (not through lack of wanting children, the time just hasn't come yet) however I have quite an interest in discipline and the varying ways in how people raise their own children.

I appreciate that this is an odd thing to have an interest in. But for clarification: my Fiancé is a primary school teacher in a rather rough school and I get to hear many stories about how some parents bring up their children and what they let the kids get up to outside of school.

This often leads to some rather interesting discussions with friends and colleagues at work and in most cases, or at some point, internet access and online gaming is brought into the discussion.

What are your viewpoints on online gaming for children? Do you frown at parents that let kids play games under the age limit? Would you/do you let your kids game online unsupervised? Do you believe that it has an effect on their education (positive or negative)?
 
Dont have my own kids. But I suspect it all comes down to parenting, common sense, judgement, and the personality of the kids (and parents).

There was no internet 30 years ago for me but there were still lots of stuff to get distracted by I could have choosen to play with my c64 all day all night if I had wanted. In fact I did sometimes still didn't stop me getting a decent education.

People usually politicians, media, religous nuts see anything they don't understand as bad. I'd undoubtly say that gaming actually made me better understand logical proccesses and trying to understand how things work.

And getting into computers at 12 as a hobby meant that I was actually educating myself and not hanging out with a bunch of mates drinking Special Brew (although I did to that occasionally).
 
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Regarding my situation as of other thread I tried to keep my son from online side of having but in the end he was doing it at his mums and friends and it seems all of his friends are online and it felt I was fighting a losing battle. I do however limit the number of hours he gets to play his Xbox and only after his hw is done.
 
Hmm my thoughts are that whatever are the boundaries of ability today for kids to do, we as yesteryears kids reached the same boundaries in what we did - its all relative and its just that todays boundary involves things like online gaming and the like...

If thats the case todays kids arent much different from ouselves when we were younger its just that I would say the type and quality of external audiences has changed distractly and its that I think kids should be shielded from - unsupervised online gaming appears to be a good example of that considering the mass of cretins that seem to be on it and what anonymity allows them to say/do.

Online gaming between your friends seems little different than playing a game in the same room its just when you let everyone else in that I wouldnt want kids particularly involved.

ps3ud0 :cool:
 
Having grown up playing games rated above my age and not having killed anyone or grown up with any adverse behaviour, I would have no issue letting my theoretical kids play games in general. However, any shouting abuse, be it swearing or just being an annoyance online wouldn't be tolerated as it ruins the game for others. This would be hammered home very early on.
 
Like others, I don't have kids. But I do have an opinion on this.

It can be great for you and it can be bad for you. Grew up playing games (Console & PC) and pretty much had no social life in my early teens because of this, and probably suffered because of it. Now I've got better as I can put a divider there. If kids can have a decent 'real life' social life and then play online and meet people there and enjoy it, it's nice to have both options.

I think MMOs can kill real life interaction between people (It is social, I agree. After near a decade of DAoC I can say that) - Anything else? Just make sure you know what they're playing/set the limits.
 
I don't let my kids play online on their consoles, language is just too bad which is usually other kids of the same age.

They go out to play if they want to talk to their mates :)
 
Musty Pie said:
Morning all you Console fans.

Before we get started I did a search and found a few topics from years past discussing similar things in this section of the forum but thought we could start a new one to see if peoples opinions or viewpoints had changed at all over the years.

I very rarely start threads so go easy on me :)

The reasoning behind starting this thread was spurred from another one reference a forum users son (10) getting banned from XBL.

I am not a parent myself (not through lack of wanting children, the time just hasn't come yet) however I have quite an interest in discipline and the varying ways in how people raise their own children.

I appreciate that this is an odd thing to have an interest in. But for clarification: my Fiancé is a primary school teacher in a rather rough school and I get to hear many stories about how some parents bring up their children and what they let the kids get up to outside of school.

This often leads to some rather interesting discussions with friends and colleagues at work and in most cases, or at some point, internet access and online gaming is brought into the discussion.

What are your viewpoints on online gaming for children? Do you frown at parents that let kids play games under the age limit? Would you/do you let your kids game online unsupervised? Do you believe that it has an effect on their education (positive or negative)?
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I have a 10 year old son who enjoys playing games online.He's got an xbox in his room and uses my mac for playing minecraft / Team Fortress 2 etc..

Gaming is far more sociable now than it was in my childhood. He has all his friends from school on xbox live, and I've made a specific point of setting him up a child's account. This means he can't communicate with anybody not on his friends list, anybody on voice chat in games is automatically muted and he can't mute them, and to add somebody to his friends list he needs me to enter in my xbox live username and password

Interaction with other players isn't really something he's experienced on xbox, because its so secure. He gets in a party with his friends, plays the game and enjoys it. They tend to play private games on their own so they can mess about together without affecting others. When they do play with others, they may not be the best, but we've had discussions about affecting others games and playing it properly when playing with others.

Mac however is a different matter. You can't lock it down and others can use voice chat to him, even if he can't chat back because the mac has no microphone setup. He's been abused before on voice chat, and he's had random strangers add him on xbox live too

All have resulted in conversations where we've taught him about what the internet is like. That you can't trust anything a stranger tells you on the internet, and some people are nasty and will do things purely to upset you. If you encounter such people you move on and don't worry about it. I think teaching kids about the internet, about who you can trust on there (ie nobody except the friends he knows from school) and what the dangers are of ignoring this advice is as essential as "Stranger Danger" was for me in my childhood. He does have it in his room, but quite frankly he and his friends make that much noise laughing and shouting away we can hear everything. We know when they've fallen out, usually what they've fallen out over, and can recognize different voices to his friends that we know and have round the house.

Yes he can hear language, but he already knows most of it at 10. I swear so I'm not really in a position to lecture him about not using the F word when I use it myself. He has however been taught that what he says in the playground with his friends is up to him. What he has learnt however is that there are places not to swear, and thats in front of your teachers or your parents. And because of that, I don't think he's actually sworn "at us" (as opposed to in our presence) once. He's a good boy and gets treated with respect

He does his homework, always has excellent report cards home, and we make time for doing things as a family that don't involve playing on the Xbox. So he does spend a lot of time on it, but when we ask him to come off it he will and knows he's not allowed to spend all day every day on it.

Its very easy for some to be all high and mighty and boast about how their kids will never be allowed online until they are 16 - but those are the kids who will be left out and be socially awkward at school because everybody else is online playing on xbox live without them. Literally every single one of my lad's group of friends is online on xbox live after school. You hamper your child's social progress if you forbid them for this type of stuff. You intrroduce them to it, but teach them whats right and what's wrong, and monitor them and lock everything down as much as you can, then release those locks as they get older.
 
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Wang Computer said:
While I don't dispute what you say as I've heard it before from other sources, I do find it rather lamentable. Social development within the prism of Xbox live sounds somewhat dystopian as far as I'm concerned.
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Social development where online gaming is a cornerstone - wow that depresses me too...

ps3ud0 :cool:
 
I have a son (7) and a daughter (8) they both have tablets and a laptop each. In addition to this my son has access to a PS3 in the lounge to play arcade style racers with me. Their time is limited on said devices and any access they have is either in the kitchen or in the lounge under supervision. He does like to play mp and I was concerned about the language whilst playing so I put a stop to MP. He also enjoys sitting on my lap playing games on my pc, any game I deem as inappropriate he never gets to see.

We have had to restrict my daughter from playing Animal Jam, on a couple of occasions she was really upset when she got a poor deal on trading. My daughter has asked for a youtube account which I said no to.

I think we have managed to strike a good balance with gaming and the internet but it is something I will be monitoring very closely. I have a niece who was been bullied via Facebook and in the end my sister had to get the Police involved.
 
Age limits are pointless on games tbh kids already seen it all before on TV or the internet, I was shocked at some of the gory stuff that is out there that some younger relatives of mine where watching for entertainment, like people claw hammering a guy to death, etc. That kind of stuff is a no no and should be banned.

I personally wouldn't restrict them from gaming online but I would ensure that it is done in moderation as part of a healthy balanced lifestyle. Would let them play GTA and cod online as well, I wouldn't try and wrap them in cotton wool and live inside a bubble, swearing is hardly anything new to kids, it's not as if they don't have the option of turning it off or joining a different server at any time they so wish
 
I won't be letting my son play on Xbox Live until he's well into his teens, that is for sure.

"Hampering social development" , that is utter nonsense. Like the world never managed until Xbox Live came out. Well it did, and oddly kids were better behaved.

The way people treat each other on Xbox Live is not an indication of how society should interact, so what benefit is there to him?

Not my fault most parents are too lazy to raise their kids and instead sit them infront of a TV to play 18+ rated games at all hours, calling and getting called all sorts.

If push came to shove, rather he used PSN where people rarely talk anyway with the exception of his friends within the party.

Kids are always going to find ways to watch or play what they want, but rather he had to go out of his way to access it out of curiosity. Age ratings need to mean something to gain an understanding of why they are in place.

Far prefer stuff in the 80s for how it handled this stuff most of the time. The bad guys are clear, no mixed messages and poor special FX anyway. Hardly mind warping.

It's more time consuming to shuttle kids around to actually spend time with each other in person, but that's just what you should do. It's the right thing to do.
 
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Arthur Hucksake said:
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I actually agree with a lot of the points you have raised here. especially the part "Like the world never managed until Xbox Live came out. Well it did, and oddly kids were better behaved."

I think face to face social interaction is a massive part of a child/young adults development. Personally I think (and mainly hard core PC/MMO gamers would most likely agree) that online games can suck up a lot of your important years and can seriously effect you later on in life. Again this topic is heavily debatable for many reasons, and who knows maybe this thread will go that way.

However my main intention is to discuss how this can effect a child's/young adults behaviour/education. So its good to see that some people have touched upon this too.


Fr0dders you make some great points and appear to be a parent who has struck up the right balance between letting your son be involved in the latest craze/game, whilst still monitoring it for his safety. When I have children I hope to be as in control of the situation as you seem to be. Although I don't think I need to worry too much I am sure the misses will be pretty vigilant at making sure our kids put education first being a teacher.

My worry is that not all parents have a level of knowledge/understanding as to what a lot of these online games/services are like. I wonder if even more than 50% of parents really understand just how bad online gaming can be sometimes.
 
I don't have kids, and despite being happily married have no real intention to have them anytime soon. But in general there is no 1 method or right way as you have to assess the individual child each time and go from there.

I don't think I could be further from the way my parents are. The way they raised me, was that they realised from an early age that I was sensible and had my head screwed on. So they just taught me the basics between right and wrong early, and had the respect and confidence in me as a child to make my own choices about what I can and can't do.
I made some wrong ones of course, but nothing bad and I learnt from them. I've grew up to be successful and have some great friends and an amazing wife.

But that's because my parents regonised early that I could be trusted to be raised like that. Some children may need more or less supervision. Basically you just have to understand your own kids.


The one thing I regeret my parents not doing is introducing me to a larger variation of things. My Dad was big on Football, so he would take me to the field a lot. Well it wasn't long before I realised that Football sucked and It bored me to death.

IF I have kids, I'll introduce them to every sport and hobby I can think of and they can make their choice as to which they enjoy doing. If that's playing online games, so be it - I won't restrict that unless they for some reason were not sensible enough to restrict themselves. But I'd like to think my kids would be.



One of the first games I ever played as a child was Mortal Kombat but quite frankly I don't get the uproar about the violence in video games. Even with todays graphics, it doesn't look anything like real life so that link makes zero sense to me. As a 5 year old kid I didn't even think about the fact that I was ripping a spine out - it was just computer graphics, it was nothing and at that age I was sensible enough to realise that.


I do think the abuse and laguage online is a much bigger issue than the depicted violence in the game and hearing and seeing the abuse dished out in some online games and communities is something I'd certainly want to shield my child from whether they were sensible and mature or not. It's not even something I as an adult want to ever see or hear as it's so beneathe me as a person that it's a waste of my existance to ever be subjected to these pathetic people.

Multiple evidence of abusive behavior should just be issued with a multiple year long ban to the internet somehow
 
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Wang Computer said:
While I don't dispute what you say as I've heard it before from other sources, I do find it rather lamentable. Social development within the prism of Xbox live sounds somewhat dystopian as far as I'm concerned.
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Its not a mutually exclusive form of interaction.

This is where it becomes unhealthy.

He socializes at school with his friends, and he has them round for sleepovers etc.. Tonight for example he's round at a friends house after school from 3pm to 8pm.

He has a group of friends and they're very close, both in and out of school. I couldn't be happier with his social skills. Gaming online is just another extension of this.
 
Arthur Hucksake said:
I won't be letting my son play on Xbox Live until he's well into his teens, that is for sure.

"Hampering social development" , that is utter nonsense. Like the world never managed until Xbox Live came out. Well it did, and oddly kids were better behaved.

The way people treat each other on Xbox Live is not an indication of how society should interact, so what benefit is there to him?

Not my fault most parents are too lazy to raise their kids and instead sit them infront of a TV to play 18+ rated games at all hours, calling and getting called all sorts.

If push came to shove, rather he used PSN where people rarely talk anyway with the exception of his friends within the party.

Kids are always going to find ways to watch or play what they want, but rather he had to go out of his way to access it out of curiosity. Age ratings need to mean something to gain an understanding of why they are in place.

Far prefer stuff in the 80s for how it handled this stuff most of the time. The bad guys are clear, no mixed messages and poor special FX anyway. Hardly mind warping.

It's more time consuming to shuttle kids around to actually spend time with each other in person, but that's just what you should do. It's the right thing to do.
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its not utter nonsense. Wait until your children start to get to secondary school age and you'll see the shift in the way they interact with each other.

There is one chilld who has parents like you, who forbid him from going online at all and completely forbid him from playing any game rated 15 or 18. And he's excluded from large amounts of the conversations the children have in the playground. They talk about the latest games, the videos they've watched on youtube, the minecraft game they had last night, none of which he can join in with. This particular child used to be the ring leader in the early school days, but now he's completely dfrited out onto the fringe of the group - because he can't share in so much of what they are talking about.

You talk about gaming online as being some exclusive form of interaction - its not. My son plays on the xbox with his friends, go's round their houses, they come round ours, and they are always well behaved.

My child has consistently good report cards from school, parents evening is a joy to attend he's got a group of friends whom he really likes and gets on with. He goes to and comes home from school happy. He doesn't take things for granted, and his behaviour is excellent. What more could I ask from him ?

This talk about kids being better behaved when there was no games around, is completely based upon media scaremongering, filling people's minds with the thought that the current generation of young teenagers are a generation without social skills, missbehaving, spoilt, abusing teachers. Its all poppycock.

it says a lot that the vast majority of people in here saying "I wouldn't let me kids do this" are the ones without kids at all, or without kids at the sort of age where they want to be online on the xbox with friends.

Musty Pie said:
Fr0dders you make some great points and appear to be a parent who has struck up the right balance between letting your son be involved in the latest craze/game, whilst still monitoring it for his safety. When I have children I hope to be as in control of the situation as you seem to be. Although I don't think I need to worry too much I am sure the misses will be pretty vigilant at making sure our kids put education first being a teacher.

My worry is that not all parents have a level of knowledge/understanding as to what a lot of these online games/services are like. I wonder if even more than 50% of parents really understand just how bad online gaming can be sometimes.
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This is the key to any child's upbringing and education - balance. Whether that be time they spend on the xbox, how much they eat at the dinner table, how much they spend outside with their friends playing football etc.. Its all the same. Just a different form of entertainment.

And I see parents without the knowledge and understanding in my child's own circle of friends. We've set our son up with a child's account, regularly listen in to his xbox live conversations (its hard not to with how loud they get :D) and monitor who he has on his friends list. We've been through everybody as we accept any invites and challenge him over whether he knows them or not , and if he does, from where. He can't interact with strangers and we've had conversations about online safety with him.

One of his group of friends however - has had no such help. He's got his parent's adult account and has completely un monitored and unrestricted access to xbox live. He's got the maximum number of friends on his list - hardly any of which he knows. He's interacting with anybody and everybody on xbox live, and is completely exposed to child predators. This is where online gaming is dangerous.

But any attempt to educate these other parents comes across as telling how to parent, which is a surefire way to alienate the parents of your child's friend. So we make sure our lad knows why we don't let him have the access his friend does, and why he should be wary. We did have one conversation where he was asking why he has the restrictions he has and we ended up showing him the CCTV footage of James buldger being led off to his death. He cried and was shocked, but better understands now why we worry about him and what the dangers are of strangers he could meet online.
 
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Fr0dders said:
This talk about kids being better behaved when there was no games around, is completely based upon media scaremongering, filling people's minds with the thought that the current generation of young teenagers are a generation without social skills, missbehaving, spoilt, abusing teachers. Its all poppycock.

.
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I think media scaremongering has a lot to do with placing the blame. I am not out to place blame on gaming/online as that's a whole different debate for another time. But I do think that "parenting" has a lot to do with it.

Parents who do not interact with their kids via other mediums, because they are too lazy/busy, and stick them in front of a games console/TV are defiantly at the root of the problem. This bundled with some parents lack of knowledge about the games/online world really do not help dispel the stereotypes. I admit this is not the only issue, but its defiantly becoming more prominent as the years go on and cultures change.

Fr0dders seems to be a great example of a parent who understands the importance of both mediums. Social interaction and gaming mixed in with a modern twist on good parenting.
 
If I had kids I'd be paranoid about the amount of time they spent online gaming and I'd try to avoid it happening in the first place.

Can easily be a massive addictive time sink which as a distraction from productive efforts does no good.

Depends on the individual but imo the less social they are to start with the more likely they'll invest vast amounts of time online when they have freedom to do so.
 
Like I said above gaming should only be done in moderation as part of a healthy balanced lifestyle.

You should ideally do 3-4 hours of intensive cardio per week (walking or light jogging doesn't count, etc it has to be hard enough that your improving your CV system or maintaining it's current level if your pretty fit).

As well as reading for at least 3-4 hours per week on a subject your interested in.

As well as socialising with friends face to face for at least 3-4 hours per week.

You can even combine some of the above, e.g. play 5 a side footy with your mates twice a week, getting some of your cardio and social fix at the same time.
 
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