Flatmate issues

[anksta]

Two wrongs and all that.

Be the bigger man.

No. I know how petulant I seem posting here so far out of context and whatnot but I'm the bigger man in literally every other aspect. I let everything the both of them do, I can make a list if you want but it's not like it's interesting.

Smoking is an issue, I get that. But as I said in the first place, smoking does not a bad flatmate make and not smoking doesn't make you a good flatmate either.

I'd be more concerned about her hysteria (I can still hear her even now I'll add) if I hadn't heard her sound like her first born had just been thrown in a fire at what happened on Channel 4.

 

[dowie]

Dealing with an annoying flatmate by also being an annoying flatmate isn't really going to end well.

 

[anksta]

Sounds like it isn't a smoking flat. It sounds very unreasonable to expect to be able to do something like smoke inside a home shared with those who don't smoke. If you want to smoke, it would seem the two options are:

a) Smoke outside
b) Get your own place where you can decide what you want to do

Option a) would probably be the easiest.

It is a smoking flat, the guy that wrote the advert said it wasn't, not me.

Another note in the spirit of honesty though, I did write the ad that he moved in as a result of which did say 'no smokers' but that was at the request of the other girl as she didn't want 2 and as I said, he's been here over a year now so can't really have that much of a problem with it.

 

[Fuzz]

If your smoking in a flat I'm in when I am a non smoker and you refuse to stand outside for all of five minutes because it's " a bit chilly" then YES IT DOES MAKE YOU A BAD HOUSEMATE..

Wind ones neck in and smoke outside and do everyone a favour.

Can't you see she will simply have nothing on you if you simply smoked out doors, you will therefore have compromised, she hasn't....
It's as simple as that.

 

[[TW]Fox]

It is a smoking flat, the guy that wrote the advert said it wasn't, not me.

She's responded to an advert, in writing, saying it's a non smoking flat. Sounds like it's become a non-smoking flat (Like 99% of other shared flats I'd imagine).

Another note in the spirit of honesty though, I did write the ad that he moved in as a result of which did say 'no smokers'

So thats two seperate adverts for flatmates listing it as a 'no smoking' flat then?

Not that I'm on her side, she sounds very unreasonable, but smoking inside a shared residential property like that sounds ultra-out-of-order too.

 

[anksta]

If your smoking in a flat I'm in when I am a non smoker and you refuse to stand outside for all of five minutes because it's " a bit chilly" then YES IT DOES MAKE YOU A BAD HOUSEMATE..

Wind ones neck in and smoke outside and do everyone a favour.

If you went into a smoker's house though, whether or not you were intending to move in would you ask them to smoke outside?

If I'd moved in here and I'd lied about being a smoker and they'd said there's no smoking it'd be one thing.

But that's not what's happened. She might live here now and even if she brought all her stuff in before realising that there was a smoker here, she would have realised within 2 minutes and therefore could have moved out again.

She has a choice remember, there are still some smoking houses left in this country you know.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH US.

You lot are just a bunch of smokists.

 

[anksta]

She's responded to an advert, in writing, saying it's a non smoking flat. Sounds like it's become a non-smoking flat (Like 99% of other shared flats I'd imagine).



So thats two seperate adverts for flatmates listing it as a 'no smoking' flat then?

Not that I'm on her side, she sounds very unreasonable, but smoking inside a shared residential property like that sounds ultra-out-of-order too.

2 separate ads a year apart I'll add.

I asked her not to slam doors, not to become a dream flatmate (which I wouldn't be far off of if I wasn't such a heathen) and in exchange I would wind down my smoking as I quit.

She then proceeded not only to carry on slamming doors (I'm not talking about just the front door when she leaves in the morning either I mean every door every time until around 2am most nights) but also developed several new very annoying habits in less than a week.

I would be willing to deal with all of that and it's not like limiting people you live with to around 7 hours of disrupted sleep a night is good for your health too.

She could have also accepted my offering to wrap it up in line with the quitting guide I was following, stopped slamming doors with an aim to gradually reduce her other problems and happy days.

But she didn't want to do that so the deal was off. She then came banging on my door at 10.30pm on a Tuesday night to shout at me when she was the one that had been out all night revving herself up because she 'doesn't like confrontation'.

I'll carry on smoking out of spite just to get rid of her at this rate.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

That'll help things.

 

[Fuzz]

Oh there is something wrong with you, your lungs are full of ****
I prefer mine to be full of air. (usually hot air but hey )


Well actually at the price of your place I don't really think she does have a choice or she would have moved wouldn't she.

You are just being "stubborn and immature" < Your words

 

[Jonnybmac]

if its a smokers house report her to the landlord? surely the other flatmate would back you up? what is his input on all of this?

 

[dowie]

I'll carry on smoking out of spite just to get rid of her at this rate.

I really don't think that's the best way to approach this.

 

[Ken]

Even if you did manage to quit smoking within that week I doubt she would have appreciated it enough to quit her bad habits anyway judging from what you've posted. She sounds like an out of control drama queen that can't be reasoned with as demonstrated by your effort to quit but her continuation of her door slamming and the like.

 

[Stretch]

See that Balcony you cleared.... Go smoke out on it you filthy animal
AND SHUT THE ****ING DOOR BEHIND YOU.

This is all you need to do to.
Her side of the argument does not have a leg to stand on then.

Pretty much this. You shouldn't smoke inside. I wouldn't dream of smoking in my own home.

 

[anksta]

Oh there is something wrong with you, your lungs are full of ****
I prefer mine to be full of air. (usually hot air but hey )


Well actually at the price of your place I don't really think she does have a choice or she would have moved wouldn't she.

You are just being "stubborn and immature" < Your words

I'm just seeing if I can out immature her.

if its a smokers house report her to the landlord? surely the other flatmate would back you up? what is his input on all of this?

His input is to stay in his room with the door closed and not weigh in at all. He doesn't like the smoking either and we aren't exactly friends, he has the personality of a warped floorboard.

The landlord would probably side with me as he only ever take to me about any issues with the flat even if someone else has called him but getting him involved is the equivalent of telling teacher so I won't go there, she has I might add.

Even if you did manage to quit smoking within that week I doubt she would have appreciated it enough to quit her bad habits anyway judging from what you've posted. She sounds like an out of control drama queen that can't be reasoned with as demonstrated by your effort to quit but her continuation of her door slamming and the like.

Exactly. The fact she didn't even attempt to, once, coupled with how quick she blew up at me not holding up the deal either just goes to show she had zero intention of doing anything but getting her own way.

I'll add that my stubborn approach might not be the most graceful, or even practical, but the rubbish is by the door now and the doors have stopped slamming now shes started to calm down.

Although her phone is ringing now so she'll probably get herself all lathered up again.

I had to usher her out of my room before and she had that look in her eyes that only women can have,daring me to lay a finger on her.

I'd never do that I might add I've never even hit a dude.

 

[HAz]

You need to do a cleaning rota sheet and see how many times the lazy cow signs it

 

[Storm3y]

At the end of the day, I wouldn't smoke around people if they didn't smoke. But at the same time if I was her I wouldn't be an idiot and make a racket at night time. I don't understand why people need to sound like a herd of elephants running up and down stairs and slamming doors at night.

 

[Nix]

She's immature and needs to grow up.

You're being stubborn and need to man up.

Stop smoking inside regardless of whatever reasoning you now have to justify it and use it to help you stop in the long run. If you're smoking outside, her argument immediately becomes invalid and you have the moral high-ground. If she carries on, find other ways to spite her.

You're making your own bed of misery here. Is she's still slamming doors at night once you've kept up your end, then complain to the landlord as she's being a problem tenant. Let her know that she is being completely unreasonable and is in fact the selfish one (if she's thrown that accusation at you then it will certainly stick if you use it with merit against her)

Until you take the high-ground, I can only assume that you're doing mental gymnastics to help justify your addiction/habit as you probably don't really want to quit. There are after all, two sides to this story.

 

[Angilion]

[..]
Smoking is an issue, I get that. But as I said in the first place, smoking does not a bad flatmate make [..]

Yes, it does.

Smoking is worse than urinating all over the walls - it smells worse, it's more pervasive and it's harmful to anyone else within range.

She sounds like a bad flatmate as well, but that doesn't stop you being one too. You're bad flatmates in different ways, but you're both bad flatmates.

If she was quiet and put the bins out and did the washing up and so on, but also used random parts of the flat as a toilet, would you say she was a good flatmate?

 

[Diagro]

It's common certicy to NOT smoke around non smokers.
I wonder why it was made law to not smoke in public places hmmm?

Selfish man is what you are OP

 

[Nix]

Yes, it does.

Smoking is worse than urinating all over the walls - it smells worse, it's more pervasive and it's harmful to anyone else within range.

She sounds like a bad flatmate as well, but that doesn't stop you being one too. You're bad flatmates in different ways, but you're both bad flatmates.

If she was quiet and put the bins out and did the washing up and so on, but also used random parts of the flat as a toilet, would you say she was a good flatmate?

One thing that I found odd is that he's identified that he's lived with several people who have all objected to his smoking yet he has still carried on because he feels he has 'earned' it. How is that not selfish?