Ordering food in different languauges for a tastier dish

I don't know about ordering in special fancy languages, but our local Indian gives me free pop and a slice of bubblegum cake if I come pick up my order instead of having their guy deliver.

Also the cake makes your tongue turn blue. So it's well worth the trip out.
 
We recently started taking a Chinese friend to our local Chinese takeaway and the difference has been remarkable.

They have always been a great family and always really friendly but once you get used to standing there having no clue what they are on about while the food cooks the service has been great. Free food, free fortune cookies, the other night we were running late due to a problem and having to go to hospital so they re-opened the shop at 23:30 just to cook whatever we wanted.

I think it is about respect and common ground more than anything and to stay semi on topic, yes they do provide food that isn't on the menu. Invariably it comes from their own private supply and consists of strange soups (rabbit based) and other odd sauces and stuff. I've tried some of it but mainly my Chinese friend tucks in quite happily!

Food has always been 'westernized' for lack of a better term, there are things we simply wouldn't eat that other cultures would. :)
 
As far as I know it does not work like this in Persian restaurants. You might get to make friends and have a laugh with the staff but no different menu.
 
R.O.S.S.I said:
Genuinely interested in knowing how you act like a mystery customer?
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Pretend to read from a script in your pocket, and glare at the name-badge of the person serving you as if you're committing it to memory. Bonus points if you make them feel extra awkward by using their name.

Hate it when people do that.
 
Whoop said:
We recently started taking a Chinese friend to our local Chinese takeaway and the difference has been remarkable.

They have always been a great family and always really friendly but once you get used to standing there having no clue what they are on about while the food cooks the service has been great. Free food, free fortune cookies, the other night we were running late due to a problem and having to go to hospital so they re-opened the shop at 23:30 just to cook whatever we wanted.

I think it is about respect and common ground more than anything and to stay semi on topic, yes they do provide food that isn't on the menu. Invariably it comes from their own private supply and consists of strange soups (rabbit based) and other odd sauces and stuff. I've tried some of it but mainly my Chinese friend tucks in quite happily!

Food has always been 'westernized' for lack of a better term, there are things we simply wouldn't eat that other cultures would. :)
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The last sentence is the most important, it just wouldn't sell.

People can't even entertain the thought of frying lettuce, yes, frying lettuce. I have that literally every week. Its no wonder the food are westernised, regular homemade stuff just won't sell to the general public.

TheVoice said:
Pretend to read from a script in your pocket, and glare at the name-badge of the person serving you as if you're committing it to memory. Bonus points if you make them feel extra awkward by using their name.

Hate it when people do that.
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And look at your watch a few times.
Sit down, eat some then scribble on something.
Look around the decor a bit.
 
Raymond Lin said:
And look at your watch a few times.
Sit down, eat some then scribble on something.
Look around the decor a bit.
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Indeed. A few tips there:

1. Exude an air like you own the place. Like you've been there a million times over and know exactly how it works.
2. Make a point of looking at and using the server's name. If it isn't on display, ask for it.
3. When you receive your drink, take a sip from it almost immediately and make a random "mmm" or "oohh" -- one that could be taken either way. Bonus points if your waiter/waitress is standing awaiting your order at the same time.
4. Once your order has been placed, immediately take out a small notepad and a pen. Start writing some random nonsense, then close it and make a visual point of correctly 'placing' it comfortably on the table within reach.
5. As you eat, keep scribbling more nonsense in your pad every couple of minutes. If a waiter comes over to ask how things are, quickly it close it before facing them and responding.

You'll either get impeccable service, and potentially better food, or a duty manager coming out during your main course to ask what you're writing. Then you have no choice but to show him the plethora of various-costumed penises you've been scribbling in an effort to make yourself seem important enough not to displease.
 
bsoltan said:
As far as I know it does not work like this in Persian restaurants. You might get to make friends and have a laugh with the staff but no different menu.
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In my limited experience of Persian restaurants what you get is not really different from what real Persian people cook anyway. In the same way that if you go to an Italian restaurant run by Italian people in England it will be like going to an Italian restaurant in Italy because the food is not radically outside of our usual range anyway. (Greek is possibly a better example)
They don't normally give you tadiq but I'm not convinced you would normally get that in a restaurant in Iran either ;)
 
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XeNoN89 said:
I've always wondered, if our Chinese and Indian restaurants etc are all westernized, what does REAL Chinese and Indian food taste like? Exactly what is different?
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REAL Chinese food in my house consist of pork, pork, the neighbours cat, pork, pork and yes, more pork. I've cooked every part of a pig's anatomy apart from brain, which is hard to come by for me, even my mum's local butcher (down South) needs to specially order it for her as there is no market for it here in the UK.

Westernised Chinese food isn't all bad. Look at sweet and Sour / Spicy Shredded Beef, if it weren't for catering for the British pallet, I won't have tasted something as scrummy (if cooked by right) as the next Chinese dish on the "Chinese Writing Only" menu.
 
Many years ago I spent several years drunk/living/working in Hong Kong and used to regularly eat at the back street eateries used by the natives. Food was awesome!

It remains one of my regrets that I didn't do more at the time to assimilate and learn Cantonese as I'm in no doubt that I'm missing out due to the sanitised 'Chinese' food served over here in the UK.
 
Personally I go to my local mash n eel joint and say 'a'right mate giv'us yer secret menu yer?' and get a whole new special menu just for us specials who speak Essex.
 
Arsonist said:
Personally I go to my local mash n eel joint and say 'a'right mate giv'us yer secret menu yer?' and get a whole new special menu just for us specials who speak Essex.
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Why would you get a secret menu for asking for it in a northern accent? Nobody in Essex says "a'right" and "yer". Pie and mash is also a cockney thing, not an Essex thing. ;)
 
Last time I ordered dishes 123 143 and 203 in Chinese I got 118, 152 and 244 served. That was the last time I went ethnic.
 
Depends on the restaurant, there is a place in Belfast called Tao which I would go to occasionally, and due to the large number of Chinese locals they have a special menu for them which has much more authentic food than your usual honey chilli chicken garbage. I dont speak a word of Chinese but the staff always give me the other menu when I ask and talk me through their preferred dishes etc.

Cant say i've seen this anywhere else though, but then again I don't visit any other Chinese restaurants in the same area. I would guess that most Chinese/Indian etc restaurants around a large "home" population would probably have something similar in place to keep the locals coming. That Tao place is always packed with Chinese locals, which is why I went there in the first place, you know its going to be good Chinese food if they can satisfy the real Chinese people.
 
arknor said:
I've never heard of this before tbh.

I've known 2 Chinese people who own Chinese restaurants in china town as well.
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It does depend on what the restaurant is. We haven't had it in China Town London, but we have had it in China Town Birmingham
 
Jeps said:
Why would you get a secret menu for asking for it in a northern accent? Nobody in Essex says "a'right" and "yer". Pie and mash is also a cockney thing, not an Essex thing. ;)
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If you read that quote in an Essex accent is comes out with an Essex accent. GOD THE SCIENCE!! Also, it's synonymous with my hometown as well as London, given many of the eels are caught there :) (Also I actually hate eels and mash.)
 
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