Missus not bonding with new-born

As above - tough times, dig in, do you best and make sure your GP/midwife etc are kept abreast of the situation and get you and your wife any help that is needed.

It's hard on everyone. Any friends or family that can help out and give you a break for an hour or so??

Good luck getting things sorted but in the meantime, do your best, and I hope it works out over the next few weeks.
 
pitchfork said:
Having children isn't a magic thing, it's misery and slaving so you can have the good bits. This isn't Disney man.
Click to expand...

He has a 4 year old child so I think he's aware of that. :rolleyes:

OP, as others have said it's common to have the 'baby blues', just keep your eye on her. I presume the health visitor will be calling again?
They usually ask how mum is feeling herself, I suggest you sit in with her and maybe interject if she claims everything is fine?
 
[FnG]magnolia;25872080 said:
That's neither helpful nor objectively true. I'm also sure the OP is aware that he is not featuring in an animated cartoon.
Click to expand...

I'm just saying, maybe he was lucky with the first kid, some are harder than others.
 
My wife took a good few weeks to bond with our first (emergency section too).

Second time around, planned section, she bonded almost as soon as the drugs wore off.

Be there, encourage her, get the midwife involved regularly. PND isn't likely to kick in until later, but it's a female dog if it does (my wife is currently suffering from it).

Emotionally, both pregnancies were very different. Probably the same for your wife.

LizardKing said:
newborns suck,
Click to expand...

Obviously - it's the only way they can feed until weaning.
 
Family support is what's called for, can't your/her family help take some of the weight off by looking after the other kids, then you can help your missus with the new babe?
 
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.

We saw the doctor who has prescribed some drugs to help with the sickness and we're going back in a few days. The midwife did visit yesterday, but didn't really know what the problem was, hence to visit to the doc's today.

Littley (our 4 year old) is quite happy helping me with the nappies etc - she thinks he's a very realistic doll :D

The new-born is doing well - he's happy to be put down and left alone whereas littley had to be held constantly for a couple of weeks - we had to take it in shifts with her - one asleep and one awake. That really was hard work!

I'm more than happy to look after them both - that's really not an issue - I just wanted to make sure my missus is ok, especially as she said she didn't want anything to do with him/felt unattached. She's had a small amount of food and is keeping it down - also got some fluids into her. She's being waited on hand and foot and I'm making sure to reassure her that it's not a problem.

Thanks once again - I suppose you'd like a picture of the little bugger? Of course you would :)

 
Last edited:
Congrats, i was going to say, go see the doc and have him prescribe her some happy pills. That'll soon resolve the post natal depression that she's experiencing.
 
My Friend was in a similar situation 2 years ago. He decided that skin to skin was a good way to start and would lie next to her when the baby was asleep, and slowly 'adjust' the baby to a more comfortable position but ultimately touching a leg or arm or head onto his missus's arm/hand and eventually after a few days she held the babys hand and fell asleep. After a couple of weeks the bond was strong.
 
I've heard it can be a problem with caesareans, the physical process of birth releases a rush of hormones which you don't get with a caesarean

Having said that post natal depression can be an issue too, my mother had it after my sister was born
 
Barry McFungus Pants said:
Hey - my wife had an emergency section a week ago - child and mother came home Friday, but the missus has been crook since, spending the last three days throwing up/in bed. She says she's not feeling like she's bonding with our new child - I guess because she feels so physically bad and because she can't do anything/can't do the feeds/can't interact. She's totally uninterested in even holding him. This sounds like (apart from the physical aspect) like PND.

We're going to see her GP tomorrow - hopefully she will get some anti-emetics to stop the vomiting and allow her to get some food/fluids back into her.

Will she want to take more of an interest in her new child once she starts to feel physically better?

As an aside - I'm ****ed looking after an almost 4 year old and a 6 day old by myself :/

Sorry for the ramblings - need to get it off my chest (and get some sleep. Fat chance :rolleyes::D)
Click to expand...

Don;t worry my misses has an emergency C section with ours 16 months ago. Due to complication with her and him she could not really hold the boy for about 5 days as he was in neo natal.

When we eventually got him home she found it odd too, for the above reasons and also because she was not concsious when he was born. WHen she feels better and has some strength it will all come together just bare with it!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom