Are we pushing ourselves too much? Do you have time to relax?

boxman2000 said:
I also put it down to the fact that in order to be a home owner, most people require two full-time incomes. Things have become so incredibly expensive as earning power has risen.
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Indeed. Requiring two wages leads to this...

PapaLazaru said:
It is damn hard though. Get up at half six, shower, get ready for work, get the kid up, fed / nappy changed / dressed and ready, drop the missus off at the station, drive the kid to nursery, go to work, finish work, go and collect the kid from nursery, drive home, do the washing / cleaning, go and collect the missus from the station, drive back home, put the kid to bed, cook dinner, wash up, get sandwiches ready for the morning and get the kids bag ready for nursery the following day, spend half an hour of 'quality' time with the missus talking about our day before she gets her downtime by watching crap TV about 'real' housewives or fat people who do not know why they are fat or some other crap.
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...where two people have jobs and are trying to also be man and wife and raise a child.

That's enough to burn most people out. Now whilst "the good old days" were less than perfect you had only one of the two working, this more time to spend together as man and wife & more time as a family.

Progress is rubbish two thirds of the time.
 
Had a real bad day today - had to get up early at 8.00 - then after breakfast wife and myself went to supermarket for weeks shopping - that was stressful with all the dawdlers blocking isles while we were browsing - got back home and cat's were going crazy for something to eat - so fed them and put shopping away - by then were were beat so had to sit down for cup of tea and biscuit. - Later we went out for some logs - loaded trailer then ambled over to local business park for some plastic trim then to Clean machine for blue paper towels - then to dentist for wife - after that a gentle drive home to be met with cat's saying where is the bloody fire - should have been lit hours ago - then the stress of cooking my rump steak which I have to say was spot on - try Lidl for Scottish meat.

Now after half bottle of red wine and glass of Brandy I am knackered.

Life is hell when you are retired.

By the way it took me 40 yrs to get here. - So if you have stress and have only 10 yrs in don't moan yet.

Dave
 
memyselfandi said:
Who is this "we" which the OP speaks about? They may be like that but it doesn't mean that everybody is.

Yes i eat at my desk at lunchtime but that is more due to having a big screen and an internet connection. Doing three people's jobs and working all hours ... no, the company i work for has been looking at addressing people work/life balance. Flexitime means that I work the hours I want to which give me time to do what I want to outside work.

Facebook, Twitter, etc ... I'm on them but I don't check them all the time ... no point, if it's important and time urgent that people will get hold of me by other means ... otherwise it can wait till i get around to checking them (maybe twice a day at most).

None of it is a problem unless you let if become so and then you only have yourself to blame.
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Came in to post exactly this.
 
I find it disturbing people eat at a desk. What do you eat? It is hot and filling? Because even in ancient times men who did labour in most kinds of work would get 3 hot meals a day. They all want us to eat junk like Subway and work 50 hours a week and hire babysitters for the kids. Yup eat junk, Cut yourself and your family off from being dependant without Subway or Tesco and let someone else bring up your hate filled abandoned kids.



The people who built the pyramids 2000 years ago had a better deal. They were housed and fed 3 times a day and looked after from cradle to grave by the state. And no the Egyptians did not use slave labour incase some smart ass wants to post that :p
 
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I work 10-6. Get up between 7 and 7.30, gym/swim in the morning. 1 hour lunch and 2 x 15 mins breaks which I normally dont take. However its very relaxed as long as I do work when it needs to be done.

Twice a week mid week I go climbing and usually go out with a few people after for some food & a drink.

Evening I casually browse internet and listen to music and/or watch tv with dinner

Weekends I go out fri night normally with friends, Saturday get food out somewhere and climb Sunday

I feel I have got the work / life balance about right. Pay isnt great but gets me by and this year I will have been on 6 holidays/stag do's abroad and 2 festivals. No doubt this will all change when I get a family, married and save for a house
 
I work 8-6 monday to friday (with extra evening shift every other week finishing at 9-10pm). There is then a 1 in 10 oncall rota (8am-8:30 pm days and 8pm - 8:30 am nights covering weekends aswell.

I then spend a few evenings a week and parts of weekends working on audits and projects. Thankfully I love my job, but sometimes it leaves me exhausted.
 
I push myself as hard as I need to. Never less though, that is important to me. I do not like performing less than required and leaving it for someone else.

I only have myself to look after no stress from a wife or family either. Get in, shut the door and nothing else matters :)

That said, I work to a 1 in 5 call out rota which can leave me ****ed off for a days after I finish my week but the pay makes up for it.
 
I'm wearing myself out. Last five weeks were:
Saturday fly to San Francisco, Sunday Monday Tuesday meetings, fly home Wednesday get back Thursday
Monday 6am flight to Madrid, Friday back home at 11pm
Monday 6am flight to Madrid, Friday back home at 11pm
Wednesday fly to New York, Thursday fly to Pittsburgh, meetings Thursday and Friday, Saturday fly home arrive Sunday
Tuesday 6am flight to Madrid, here until Friday again.

It's been like this for the last 6 months now, not sure how much longer I can keep it up. My health is starting to suffer and I'm sure my family life is too. Yes I get well paid but there comes a time when it ceases to be enough and I've just about reached that point. :(
 
Lysander said:
Where will this all end up? These days, in spite of having a busy life I try to take at least two hours a day to do nothing. Just listen to music and wind down. Is there anyone who doesn't have time to do that?
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I rarely do that as I flat out don't enjoy it. I do, however, turn off my phone while I'm at the gym or playing sport to disconnect.

Edit: When I say that I don't enjoy doing nothing, I mean that I don't like feeling unproductive. If I'm cooking or reading a good book or watching an interesting movie, that's still productive for downtime. When I completely waste an evening in front of bad TV then I feel terrible.
 
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This.

Instead of spending that second income improving a household's standard of living, it has been spent outbidding eachother for one of the artificially restricted supply of houses in this country. The cut the financial crooks take has consequently grown too. We are mugs. The only fortunate thing about the whole sorry mess is that the young won't be, through necessity.

boxman2000 said:
It's called progress apparently.

I also put it down to the fact that in order to be a home owner, most people require two full-time incomes. Things have become so incredibly expensive as earning power has risen.

Gone are the days where town shops closed on a Thursday afternoon and only opened Saturday mornings... having little to no time is one way to see this 'progress'.
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The last 6 months i've been working at full capacity, really busting a gut getting everything done. I don't feel too bad overall, but I try to keep a good balance by doing the following:

- Start at 8.59am and finish at 5.01pm. Everyday, never a minute over. If I work over, I finish early the next day.
- No thinking about work after 5.01pm that night or at weekends.
- Always have a 45 minute lunch away from the office where I can't be disturbed.

It has been mentioned that because of the above it seems "I'm not a team player" and "Not willing to go the extra mile".

The second that this becomes a problem I will leave, I work hard and don't miss a deadline on any project. I put myself forward constantly and increase my workload on a weekly basis to ease the pressure on my boss.

If me coming in at 8 and leaving at 6, but working half as hard and getting half as much done like 50% of the people here means I'm a team player, I'm working for the wrong company.

There needs to be balance, and my balance is, I only work the hours I'm contracted for. If I work over, I finish earlier the day after. It's as simple as that for me (don't get paid overtime by the way, if I did, I wouldn't mind working over occasionally) :)

I was offered a job 12 months ago and was told "it would be expected I complete overtime" I asked how much and they said "the current team, work 7 - 7 most days and work from home for a few hours each night. They also come in on a Saturday" I don't know how anybody could do that, they must have no life at all!
 
manic111 said:
Edit: When I say that I don't enjoy doing nothing, I mean that I don't like feeling unproductive. If I'm cooking or reading a good book or watching an interesting movie, that's still productive for downtime. When I completely waste an evening in front of bad TV then I feel terrible.
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Absolutely. Listening to music is research for me. I don't like actually doing nothing.
 
Black Dynamite said:
It has been mentioned that because of the above it seems "I'm not a team player" and "Not willing to go the extra mile".

The second that this becomes a problem I will leave, I work hard and don't miss a deadline on any project. I put myself forward constantly and increase my workload on a weekly basis to ease the pressure on my boss.

If me coming in at 8 and leaving at 6, but working half as hard and getting half as much done like 50% of the people here means I'm a team player, I'm working for the wrong company.
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I like the cut of your jib.
 
I burned myself out at work a few months back, didn't see the signs and one morning decided I wasn't going to work.

I basically shut down for a few days, once I'd had time to think a bit, I went to the doctor who referred me to a councillor service and was diagnosed with severe anxiety and moderate low mood.

I took a month off work and went back and feel much better for it. There comes a time where you have to draw a line, my relationships with friends and family were suffering as I was not very pleasant to be around, I became cynical, short tempered, argumentative etc. and to me that sacrifice is not worth a pay check, there has to be balance.

Having some time out and doing what ever I wanted did me a world of good, I think sometimes you need a time-out.
 
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I work 8 hours a day - no more unless they're paying me and I take care of my personal business ventures in that time too. I don't use my phone for email or social media - nor do I use a laptop or a tablet. A lot of people aren't familiar with the phrase work smart not hard, I'll give it the beans when it needs it but I will always find the easiest/ laziest way to do something.

I keep my pc at home in one room and there it stays - separated away from me. It's because I don't want a constant stream of crap distracting me or taking up my time - people spend too long on their mobiles and pc's these days just browsing facebook or forums, or googling questions when they could be discussing with present company.

I like my pc now and then, I might play an hour or two of a game but then I move on.

Spend 8-9 hours of an evening doing what I like (often seeing friends or something), 6-7 sleeping and an hour commuting/ showering/ breakfast. Don't really sleep in on weekends.

If I could do a 30 hour week I probably would, I don't see the need for all the commotion and crap people put themselves through. Constant wanting, just enjoy your life for goodness sake.
 
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Last year pretty much buried me.

From October 2012 this has been me.

Wife diagnosed with terminal cancer at 31 whilst 5 months pregnant.
2nd daughter born on 16th Nov by C Section. Wife has hip replacement on the 19th Nov.
Sold wifes hair dressing business in 5 weeks and paid off bank loan and got rid of retail lease of £12K pa on phone to solicitors and purchasers in hospital corridors.
From Oct 12 to Xmas - work from 9am to 1pm, drive to Swansea to be at beside and leave at 10pm. Repeat almost every day.
Wife in local hospital from March to August. All of 2013 looking after 12 year old and 15 month old and wife gradually needing 24/7 care.
Moved in June 2013 to house that could accommodate wifes needs.
Wife home September 9th 24/7 care arranged.
Wife admitted 9th October as her pain relief needs were not controlled at home - there was a risk I would kill her as I was administering morphine orally and via injection (all in front of 12 year old)
Died 18th October.
All through this time I continued to work in quite a high stress job as a financial adviser (love or loathe the profession its my career for good or ill)
I'm now juggling work, a 12 year old finding her feet in secondary school and all the issues a 12 year old girl has. A 15 month old toddler who sleeps most of the night but still wakes at 3am most nights for a bottle.
Evenings are filled with netball practice for the eldest, RC car racing for me, Funny handshakes (Masons) again for me!
I think Sunday night is pretty much the only night I can just sit as my mum has the youngest every Sunday night.
Have also started jogging 3 times a week as I quite fancy putting myself back on the market so want to get in shape. :)
 
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