THREAD BUMP: Max Clifford defense exhibit A: penis size

When Michael Jackson was found not guilty of the case against him it was because his accusers were proven to be lying after their description of his penis was nothing like what was "shown" to authorities :P

(they were wrong about the colour, size and circumcision status)
 
ubersonic said:
When Michael Jackson was found not guilty of the case against him it was because his accusers were proven to be lying after their description of his penis was nothing like what was "shown" to authorities :P

(they were wrong about the colour, size and circumcision status)
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with the amount of surgery he had, I'm sure his doctor could have fashioned a nifty new knob in no time
 
Skidder said:
Perhaps we could work out a gd formula, the decile you are in in two black lines wealth chart multiplied by your erect penis length. Moderators we need a pole poll
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Using the South Park formula from the episode T.M.I:

((L×d)+W/G)/(∠∝(2@t))

Length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared, okay? When we're talking about penis size, we can't just use a tape measure. We need a scale and a protractor as well.
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I hope you're all measuring properly. Yahoo answers to the rescue:

"n order to accurately measure penis size, first you must have an erect penis (since penis size when flaccid is not an accurate measurement). How you choose to accomplish this task is up to you. But we can’t move any further in determining penis size until your penis has assumed the proper position!

Measure Penis Length -– Start off by measuring the length of your penis. All you need to do is use a ruler or measuring tape. Position the ruler or measuring tape at the base of your penis (where it attaches to your body –- make sure to press into the pubic bone as far as you can because fat can actually hide the length of your penis). Measure your penis length by marking how long it is from the base all the way to the end of the tip. Write down this number and label it “penis length”.

Measure Penis Girth -– Now you will be measuring around your penis, basically figuring out its circumference/thickness, or penis girth. For this step, you need to use a piece of string (or something similar) or a soft measuring tape. Gently wrap the string one time around the thickest part of the shaft/body of your erect penis (yes, it still needs to be erect!). Mark where the string meets and then measure the distance of the string with a ruler. You could also do the same thing with the soft measuring tape, and just mark the measurement once you reach around the penis. Write down this number and label it “penis girth”.

You can determine penis width or diameter by dividing the girth measurement by 3.14.

Great! Now you have a good idea of your penis size, and it’s time for the fun part (an erect penis is no longer needed). It is time to compare your penis size with the average penis size. Typically, the average erection has a penis length of approximately 5.5 to 6.3 inches (139.7 to 160.02 mm) and has a girth ranging between 4.5 to 5.1 inches (114.3 to 129.54 mm). The average diameter (penis width) would equal out to about 1.4 to 1.6 inches (35.56 to 40.64 mm)."
 
Skidder said:
Typically, the average erection has a penis length of approximately 5.5 to 6.3 inches (139.7 to 160.02 mm) and has a girth ranging between 4.5 to 5.1 inches (114.3 to 129.54 mm). The average diameter (penis width) would equal out to about 1.4 to 1.6 inches (35.56 to 40.64 mm)."
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This calls for a erection poll.

Good lord, you poor man....
4.5-6
6-7.5
7.5-9
9-10.5
Oh my god…

Must be a mod out there who will oblige. :p
 
do people really bother to measure their penis?

or is it just people who are insecure about their manhood?

I guess anyone satisfied with their size doesn't care to measure it, now the secret is out and all the ladies of this thread knows who has a small penis


lol we should all sign up to mumsnet and remake this thread on there :D
 
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Skidder said:
I hope you're all measuring properly. Yahoo answers to the rescue:

"n order to accurately measure penis size, first you must have an erect penis (since penis size when flaccid is not an accurate measurement). How you choose to accomplish this task is up to you. But we can’t move any further in determining penis size until your penis has assumed the proper position!

Measure Penis Length -– Start off by measuring the length of your penis. All you need to do is use a ruler or measuring tape. Position the ruler or measuring tape at the base of your penis (where it attaches to your body –- make sure to press into the pubic bone as far as you can because fat can actually hide the length of your penis). Measure your penis length by marking how long it is from the base all the way to the end of the tip. Write down this number and label it “penis length”.

Measure Penis Girth -– Now you will be measuring around your penis, basically figuring out its circumference/thickness, or penis girth. For this step, you need to use a piece of string (or something similar) or a soft measuring tape. Gently wrap the string one time around the thickest part of the shaft/body of your erect penis (yes, it still needs to be erect!). Mark where the string meets and then measure the distance of the string with a ruler. You could also do the same thing with the soft measuring tape, and just mark the measurement once you reach around the penis. Write down this number and label it “penis girth”.

You can determine penis width or diameter by dividing the girth measurement by 3.14.

Great! Now you have a good idea of your penis size, and it’s time for the fun part (an erect penis is no longer needed). It is time to compare your penis size with the average penis size. Typically, the average erection has a penis length of approximately 5.5 to 6.3 inches (139.7 to 160.02 mm) and has a girth ranging between 4.5 to 5.1 inches (114.3 to 129.54 mm). The average diameter (penis width) would equal out to about 1.4 to 1.6 inches (35.56 to 40.64 mm)."
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That is rubbish. It doesn't even specify if you're measuring top or bottom. I presume top, but it isn't particularly clear. All the bottom-measurers are liars and they know it. Yeah I've got an 11in knob because I measured it from the tip to my butthole
 
Devrij said:
That is rubbish. It doesn't even specify if you're measuring top or bottom. I presume top, but it isn't particularly clear. All the bottom-measurers are liars and they know it. Yeah I've got an 11in knob because I measured it from the tip to my butthole
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Calm down love. It does say to your pubic bone. You'll struggle to make contact from your ********
 
Devrij said:
That is rubbish. It doesn't even specify if you're measuring top or bottom. I presume top, but it isn't particularly clear. All the bottom-measurers are liars and they know it. Yeah I've got an 11in knob because I measured it from the tip to my butthole
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It does say to press into the pubic bone. It just doesnt say whose! :eek:
 
Devrij said:
That is rubbish. It doesn't even specify if you're measuring top or bottom. I presume top, but it isn't particularly clear. All the bottom-measurers are liars and they know it. Yeah I've got an 11in knob because I measured it from the tip to my butthole
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it says where it attaches to the body and I think that is a clumsy way of saying top, as opposed to where it merges with the sack


Going the other way is clearly not cricket.
 
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