find out my gf slept with another guy who was in a relationship. tell the other girl?

Ahleckz said:
Do your girlfriend a favour and dump her and let her go out with someone who doesn't read her emails, trusts her, doesn't act like a vindictive child and is capable of having a relationship.

You have serious trust issues, and it's likely this that led your girlfriend to stray. She's better off without you, and you're better off alone until you sort out your issues.
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to be fair, the reason she was on my computer signed in was she has just gone through all of my facebook and computer first whilst i was at work. i come back we discuss she finds nothing and then go out for food and i laugh it off, she forgets she's still signed in herself. we both have trust issues i know this. it's not rocket science. there's more to our history but it's pointless for this thread to bring it up, the point was about this other girl.
 
You know what ****s someone up in a relationship? It's not their partner cheating on them: it's finding out their partner is cheating on them.

It's like having undiagnosed cancer: there may be little signs something isn;t right, but what really turns your life upside down is that moment when the doctors says "it's cancer". Except you don't die from never finding out your partner is cheating - which is an important distinction.

Leave it alone OP. You may feel like you want someone else to share the same pain you feel, but it's not the right thing to do.

Would I want to know if my partner had cheated on me? well, I might think I want to know but, really, my life would be much happier if I never found out.
 
Twenty one... Nice


Thats the early conversation we have and the bit where i grab my coat and make for the exit door like Farah.
 
Fairly sure the answer is no said:
to be fair, the reason she was on my computer signed in was she has just gone through all of my facebook and computer first whilst i was at work. i come back we discuss she finds nothing and then go out for food and i laugh it off, she forgets she's still signed in herself. we both have trust issues i know this. it's not rocket science. there's more to our history but it's pointless for this thread to bring it up, the point was about this other girl.
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In that case then I think it's come to the time to realise that you two aren't healthy for each other and you're best to leave it. I used to have terrible trust issues which drove me and my first love apart and it was my trust issues which killed the relationship and then subsequently any chance of friendship afterwards. I learnt from it, and haven't let those feelings take over again. It just isn't worth it. In the end, you'll just drive everyone away and be miserable.

The following sums up what you should do with the girl better than anyone so far:

cheesyboy said:
You know what ****s someone up in a relationship? It's not their partner cheating on them: it's finding out their partner is cheating on them.

It's like having undiagnosed cancer: there may be little signs something isn;t right, but what really turns your life upside down is that moment when the doctors says "it's cancer". Except you don't die from never finding out your partner is cheating - which is an important distinction.

Leave it alone OP. You may feel like you want someone else to share the same pain you feel, but it's not the right thing to do.

Would I want to know if my partner had cheated on me? well, I might think I want to know but, really, my life would be much happier if I never found out.
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Kishywish said:
I'm confused, what should be the etiquette when on a break?
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me too... it just seems a bit retarded - aside from its use in a 90s sitcom I've not heard of anyone going 'on a break'

sure couples break up and then get back together, but generally when you break up with someone you don't plan for it to only be a week and its fairly common to quite quickly go and have a one night stand almost as a coping mechanism when you've just ended a relationship

however going 'on a break' as in you've not decided to break up with someone but just have some time apart for a week with the idea you can then sort things out? To then jump into bed with someone is very dubious... am surprised the OP has even taken the gf back... am less surprised that she's spun it as a was drunk/he kept on trying/was practically raped scenario.
 
sure couples break up and then get back together, but generally when you break up with someone you don't plan for it to only be a week and its fairly common to quite quickly go and have a one night stand almost as a coping mechanism when you've just ended a relationship

however going 'on a break' as in you've not decided to break up with someone but just have some time apart for a week with the idea you can then sort things out? To then jump into bed with someone is very dubious... am surprised the OP has even taken the gf back... am less surprised that she's spun it as a was drunk/he kept on trying/was practically raped scenario.
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A break means, I want the chance to experiment or i have my eye on someone else and want to test the waters while keeping you as a backup option. I had it done on me many many years ago after 3 years i was asked if i wanted a break and i was shocked and said no because i had a fair idea of what would happen. A month later she sprang a whole drama fest to force the issue so i dumped her and gave her what she wanted and low and behold a month later she had her new phone number and they had moved in with each other.


Bang breaks i call them. If they ask for them shake em till the cops come while demanding to know the name of the new guy. Eventually they will give in and admit it ;)
 
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Ahleckz said:
Do your girlfriend a favour and dump her and let her go out with someone who doesn't read her emails, trusts her, doesn't act like a vindictive child and is capable of having a relationship.

You have serious trust issues, and it's likely this that led your girlfriend to stray. She's better off without you, and you're better off alone until you sort out your issues.
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Couldn't have put it better myself.
 
dowie said:
me too... it just seems a bit retarded - aside from its use in a 90s sitcom I've not heard of anyone going 'on a break'
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the ironic thing is we broke up because i was struggling to trust her at the beginning. her past was too much for me and she felt i was too judgmental of her given i barely knew her. 2 days later she slept with someone else. 5 days after we were back to dating and i eventually found out. bitch trapped me with her lovings
 
Username is relevant.

OP: Had something similar happen to me in the past, doesn't pay to spill all a fair while after the alleged shenanigans happened. Just leave it, leave her and move on with your life. This 'classy bird' deserves this cheating ****.
 
Well unless she physically chained you up somewhere and locked you in a cage then she didn't trap you. You allowed yourself to be controlled and I am guess Ahleckz hit the nail right on the head when he says you have serious trust issues because it is your lack of trust and that fear that she used against you to what you term as 'trapped' you.

Just move on and keep quiet.
 
Xordium said:
Well unless she physically chained you up somewhere and locked you in a cage then she didn't trap you. You allowed yourself to be controlled and I am guess Ahleckz hit the nail right on the head when he says you have serious trust issues because it is your lack of trust and that fear that she used against you to what you term as 'trapped' you.

Just move on and keep quiet.
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Indeed
 
diverse180 said:
Stop lying to yourself ffs...it's about you wanting to get one over the guy who ****** your girlfriend.

Forget him, and forget her, and move on.
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meh. as i said in post one it could be just because of that, but if it was just to get revenge i'd have done it already and not posted looking for advice. enough people have said they'd want to know so i am going with that. as mentioned i'll message him first,give him the chance to win me over and it he doesn't i'll tell her.

for future reference, please tell me if you notice a girl in town eating away at 21 guys ****s as it'll likely be mine. you're all too happy to advise we should split now when you barely know the situation (even if correct), so when you know she's cheating for sure please also tell me.
 
Xordium said:
Well unless she physically chained you up somewhere and locked you in a cage then she didn't trap you. You allowed yourself to be controlled and I am guess Ahleckz hit the nail right on the head when he says you have serious trust issues because it is your lack of trust and that fear that she used against you to what you term as 'trapped' you.

Just move on and keep quiet.
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sorry i forgot the smiley face to show i wasn't being too serious when i said she trapped me. i let myself get trapped as she's great in other ways. it's pointless for this thread if i list them all as it doesn't add anything to the point. obviously since the incident stuff happened that's made me like her and want to keep at it, even if we have our bad days.
 
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Fairly sure the answer is no said:
2 days later she slept with someone else. 5 days after we were back to dating and i eventually found out. bitch trapped me with her lovings
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Fairly sure the answer is no said:
for future reference, please tell me if you notice a girl in town eating away at 21 guys ****s as it'll likely be mine.
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Absolutely nothing wrong with her doing any of that. Get over yourself, get over her and move on with your life and stop trying to destroy someone else's relationship. Also, blackmailing the guy? How incredibly childish.
 
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