Scared of the future

The best you can do is be there for her and make it comfortable for her, whatever the case is. If you ever want to talk we are all here on the forum. I lost my dad to cancer so I know what it's like. Stay positive and God willing it won't be anything serious.

Even to this day I've never been myself. It's not easy to lose a parent.

It's just a part of life, we all have to die one day.
 
I know nothing has been confirmed, but a lot of hospitals have Macmillan or other advice centers that you can drop in at anytime to talk. They've helped me a lot (dad died from bowl cancer when I was 15, and I was diagnosed with Leukaemia at 31).

I don't post on the forums too much, but I wouldn't mind helping to take your mind off of thing with a few extra posts a day. :)

I wonder if there is anybody on the forums in a similar situation (OCD/Autism) that you could meet up with if close by?
 
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My aunt was diagnosed with cancer about two years ago as she had a massive growth on her left breast, it was huge. They had to take it out, then she had cancer spread throughout her body. She is still alive today, but still in pain. It is amazing what hospitals can do nowadays.

I just hope it isn't cancer and if worse case it is, it was caught early. Thing is with my mum she just leaves things for ages or doesn't bother getting it checked. Not sure when she found this out though :(
 
If it helps I have been through this twice with my mother so understand how you must feel right at this point. 30 years ago when I still lived at home when she was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma, so one of the bad ones and then 20 years ago with Lymphoma, again, a nasty cancer. It is natural to fear the worst and to only think negative thoughts and it is a total **** time to have to face up to, but that is what you need to do, especially around mum right now.

Try to compartmentalise things and not waste time thinking negatively. That is VERY hard, but if you can force yourself to do so it will help you and those around you. My mum is 76 and clear of both and both times she was given less than 50% chance of surviving. Good luck.
 
Just dont watch the tomorrow people!

But seriously man life is what it is. As humans we are really privileged to live in the uk away from destitution and famine. Enjoy what time you have now and stop worrying so much about the future. I'm sorry to hear about your mum but you have to accept that people die. That goes for your parents parents and your parents too. It's all part of life and this short existence. . Ww3 might start tomorrow in the ukraine but you can't sit by and get down about it because it might not.
 
To reiterate what others have said, you have to try to stay positive and strong! It's no doubt a difficult and anxious time for your mother whatever the outcome so she will need you at your best!

I understand very well your issues too, email in trust if you need someone to vent to mate.
 
I'll repeat, stay strong for her and try to keep positive. Until diagnosis, it's only speculation. Cancer treatment improves by the day, and chances of survival are hugely improving with it. As 'The Running Man' says, we're privileged to live in the UK and we need to remember and appreciate what we take for granted in this country.

Whatever you choose to do after the diagnosis, try to spend some good quality time with her and then find activities that will help you and your own mental state. You need to be able to unwind and control yourself mentally, try and find others with similar interests and start building friendships from there. It will be a hard battle at first, but stick at it and you will get there.

All the best for the future. :)
 
Neil79 said:
No friends away from comp, no children, dad who I don't get on with and two sisters and a brother. The problem is I don't cope as it is as I'm already on two lots of medication to calm me down. On edge so to speak
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It's obvious where you need to start.
 
There's no cure for autism. You can adapt slightly but if you didn't get professional help as a child then it'll likely be impossible to function as a normal adult.
Even if you could afford the best private help available right now it would takes years to become functional and I doubt you'd ever get over essentially wasting 30 years of your life.
 
PanMaster said:
There's no cure for autism. You can adapt slightly but if you didn't get professional help as a child then it'll likely be impossible to function as a normal adult.
Even if you could afford the best private help available right now it would takes years to become functional and I doubt you'd ever get over essentially wasting 30 years of your life.
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Nice show of support there. :rolleyes:

Try not to worry about your mum too much yet Neil. My mum's had cysts before which turned out to be non-problematic and it's in fact very common. Assume the best until you know more mate, I really hope you get good news.
 
Housey said:
If it helps I have been through this twice with my mother so understand how you must feel right at this point. 30 years ago when I still lived at home when she was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma, so one of the bad ones and then 20 years ago with Lymphoma, again, a nasty cancer. It is natural to fear the worst and to only think negative thoughts and it is a total **** time to have to face up to, but that is what you need to do, especially around mum right now.

Try to compartmentalise things and not waste time thinking negatively. That is VERY hard, but if you can force yourself to do so it will help you and those around you. My mum is 76 and clear of both and both times she was given less than 50% chance of surviving. Good luck.
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This is a pretty great post :)
 
I wish your mum all the best Neil. Try not to worry too much, I know it's hard, I would be in bits if I thought my mum might have cancer.

Please keep us posted mate.
 
PanMaster said:
There's no cure for autism. You can adapt slightly but if you didn't get professional help as a child then it'll likely be impossible to function as a normal adult.
Even if you could afford the best private help available right now it would takes years to become functional and I doubt you'd ever get over essentially wasting 30 years of your life.
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You can't become functional, you can learn coping mechanisms for certain scenarios but there is no real help that can change how your brain works and who you are.

Recent studies seem to have reversed the medical evidence about autistic brains.
instead of being under connected like people thought in the past it seems they are actually overconnected
http://sfari.org/news-and-opinion/news/2013/autism-brains-are-overly-connected-studies-find
RpIfSKw.jpg

Overly connected: Many pairs of brain regions — including those involved in sensory processing, emotion and motivation — are more tightly synchronized in children with autism (right) than in controls (left).
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Left brain is normal :eek:
 
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