Associate
- Joined
- 28 Oct 2013
- Posts
- 24
As a baby my Mother knew there was something wrong when I refused to even try to walk and remained crawling till I was 2 years old. Eventually doctors looked in to it and diagnosed me with Perthe's Disease. An incurable bone condition, Your brain stop the blood flow to your hips causing both the head and the inside of the joint to slowly die making the bone crumble away and deform.
I slowly learned to walk and deal with the condition as a child, when suddenly at the age of 9 or 10 I was walking without much discomfort. My Mum was shocked and took me to see the consultant, he said I had out grown my condition and could live a normal life.
Fast forward 9 years.
I'm at work, spraying a near new BMW 5 series that had a front end collision, I suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in my leg followed by extreme dizziness and blurred vision, I dont remember much else from then other than waking up in hospital. My right hip had collapsed. I spent 3 weeks in hospital on several pain killers including gas and air and morphine, They informed me that the condition had never completely disappeared it was merely hiding, my right hip was beyond repair. They eventually got the lingering pain under control and discharged me on what they considered high but acceptable doses of morphine, 20mg 4 times a day.
Fast forward 6 years.
I am no further forward, the pain steadily gets worse as more of my bone deforms and dies in the joint, Further testing had revealed I suffer from both Perth's disease and Avascular Necrosis, Both very similar in nature both attacking the same thing, My hips didnt stand a chance. The morphine levels have been increased beyond the norm, 80mg every morning and 80mg before bed with doses of 10mg taken 8 times a day. That does not include all the other drugs they have me on, Diazapan, Nefopan, Codeine etc etc. My days are a blured mess between mess but between one dose and the next there is some small clarity, A window of 40 minutes 8 times a day where I sort of function mentally ok, The rest of the time im rather vegetated and delusional. Thanks to the pain killers...
Present day.. Not much has changed, Im 25 years old, almost 26. Lost a 38k per year job with BMW to a condition i thought was gone, Now living on disbility benefits waiting for something to happen, Incapable of dressing myself or doing much myself. Sitting in bed or with help moved to a chair.
Each day gets more and more depressing. Sometimes I wonder why I bother to continue. I don't leave the house, Low self esteem coupled with serious agoraphobia caused by suddenly being forced into a wheelchair full time has robbed me of that freedom. The thought of going outside makes me physically sick at this stage.
I dont know why I decided to share this, or why i decided to share this here. Maybe its the anonymity.
I slowly learned to walk and deal with the condition as a child, when suddenly at the age of 9 or 10 I was walking without much discomfort. My Mum was shocked and took me to see the consultant, he said I had out grown my condition and could live a normal life.
Fast forward 9 years.
I'm at work, spraying a near new BMW 5 series that had a front end collision, I suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in my leg followed by extreme dizziness and blurred vision, I dont remember much else from then other than waking up in hospital. My right hip had collapsed. I spent 3 weeks in hospital on several pain killers including gas and air and morphine, They informed me that the condition had never completely disappeared it was merely hiding, my right hip was beyond repair. They eventually got the lingering pain under control and discharged me on what they considered high but acceptable doses of morphine, 20mg 4 times a day.
Fast forward 6 years.
I am no further forward, the pain steadily gets worse as more of my bone deforms and dies in the joint, Further testing had revealed I suffer from both Perth's disease and Avascular Necrosis, Both very similar in nature both attacking the same thing, My hips didnt stand a chance. The morphine levels have been increased beyond the norm, 80mg every morning and 80mg before bed with doses of 10mg taken 8 times a day. That does not include all the other drugs they have me on, Diazapan, Nefopan, Codeine etc etc. My days are a blured mess between mess but between one dose and the next there is some small clarity, A window of 40 minutes 8 times a day where I sort of function mentally ok, The rest of the time im rather vegetated and delusional. Thanks to the pain killers...
Present day.. Not much has changed, Im 25 years old, almost 26. Lost a 38k per year job with BMW to a condition i thought was gone, Now living on disbility benefits waiting for something to happen, Incapable of dressing myself or doing much myself. Sitting in bed or with help moved to a chair.
Each day gets more and more depressing. Sometimes I wonder why I bother to continue. I don't leave the house, Low self esteem coupled with serious agoraphobia caused by suddenly being forced into a wheelchair full time has robbed me of that freedom. The thought of going outside makes me physically sick at this stage.
I dont know why I decided to share this, or why i decided to share this here. Maybe its the anonymity.
