I am meeting a girl this evening

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Conclusion just in following extensive analysis utilising the resources of the foremost universities and intelligence services in the world today:

OP is relatively sophisticated AI programme honing it's skills for a forthcoming Turing test. It is using the forum to build a suitably dysfunctional personality that will allow it to still appear notionally human whilst also making epic errors in the field of interpersonal relationships.
 
Explain to her that it would be your first time and you need someone to teach you how to be with a woman. How to hold one, how to kiss one in their special place, how to ensure that you give one the best orgasm of their life.

If she is a member of the guild of hot bartenders she is obliged to comply with your every request at this point.
 
I'm not really sure why you started this thread.

If you're as unmotivated and indifferent to the whole thing as you claim to be, why bother making a fuss about it and ask for people's opinions in the first place? It doesn't make a lot of sense and in fact suggests that there may be more to this than you're letting on...
 
Mr. Pickle said:
I had half a pint and a coffee and she said she was going home so I agreed, stayed for like 1 hour, gavea hug and left
Click to expand...

That's the part where you offer to walk her home (or drive, such modern), then she invites you in for a drink, and then, puff pastry everywhere.
 
Best thread to read EVER.

PLEASE give us location details for your next rendezvous so that we can all come, watch and provide tips during tactical toilet breaks!
 
Before you kiss her dont forget to get written consent preferbaly with 2 witnesses and also get it notorised otherwise its rape
 
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