Life just took a divebomb - 8 Years down the pan.

Glaucus said:
Just lol. You are posting in an emotional thread reinforcing such thoughts.
No where have I said anything about how high and mighty my life is.
Click to expand...

And I didn't say you did did you not see the question?????, you are however sitting in judgement of others.

What's my job got to do with anything?

You seem to be inventing a position to justify your own hubris in thinking you know best or how a person should feel in this situation, you don't like being challenged that is clear. I would get off your high horse for a moment and think about that.
 
Last edited:
BuffetSlayer said:
I would advise that if the woman cannot even give you an explanation, or tell you things are over to your face (at the very least) then she is not worth having mate.

I know that does nothing to help the way you are feeling right now, but people like that are not good for you. They will drag you down because, in essence, they are selfish and cowardly.

You have your dream job, after all the effort to get it do not put it in jeopardy by going off the rails or doing something silly like attacking her new boyfriend.

Let her go, you are better off without her. I know you feel angry, hurt, maybe even a little afraid - but life will get better and you will most likely find that she did you a favour, particularly when you meet that person that is worth it and you look back on this time in your life and think "damn, I'm so much better off now". :)
Click to expand...

What BuffetSlayer said. Someone who acts in such a selfish and cowardly way is never worth being with. Count yourself lucky you're not married/have kids. I know it's incredibly hard but you have to start moving on. No point in wasting your time with someone like this, I know it's hard but you'll get over it over time :).
 
Castiel said:
And I didn't say you did did you not see the question?????, you are however sitting in judgement of others.

What's my job got to do with anything?

You seem to be inventing a position to justify your own hubris in thinking you know best or how a person should feel in this situation, you don't like being challenged that is clear. I would get off your high horse for a moment and think about that.
Click to expand...

Get a room!
 
I suppose I'll be posting a lot more about how to deal with life..

Firstly, I believe the contract on this flat has to be renewed in December, does that mean I can't leave before then or will it cost me and therefore be pointless?
 
David_VI said:
Well I like to hope that nothing was going on until now (if it is now). I can imagine them talking for weeks and it coming out how shes unhappy and such, each time she talks more seeds are planted and one day she decides to go.. Guy helps, and then the going away 'to get away from it so you can think' when really this guy has liked her before so any thoughts of him just being a good friend I think are absolute rubbish even though thats what her friend told me.
Click to expand...

Try your best to stop thinking about it mate. Pandora's box has already been opened, there's no closing it.

You're just going to drive yourself mad thinking about it. It doesn't matter if gone for a week meditating or a holiday with the bloke, the fact is she has shown herself capable of being so cruel as to up sticks and leave when it suits HER.

Can't really see a repair for that to be honest. You want to continue a relationship where she could do that at any point?! (pro tip, if they do it once, odds are they will do it again).

There's plenty of women who love loyally and will make you happy, as you should make them.

Move on from this, there WILL be a silver lining in this.


P.s move places.
 
David_VI said:
Well I like to hope that nothing was going on until now (if it is now). I can imagine them talking for weeks and it coming out how shes unhappy and such, each time she talks more seeds are planted and one day she decides to go.. Guy helps, and then the going away 'to get away from it so you can think' when really this guy has liked her before so any thoughts of him just being a good friend I think are absolute rubbish even though thats what her friend told me.
Click to expand...

As much as it pains me to say it, but chances are it has been a while. The moment she saw an opportunity everything she has done and said since then has been leading to this. The fact she couldnt even be decent enough to say anything and just up and left like a fart in the wind shows how little she respected you.

Your 2 weeks off should be seen as a chance to move on. Try get away or if thats not possible, go out and look for a new place you can call your own.

Yes it means taking a risk and jumping in the deep end but that is often what is needed.
 
David_VI said:
Firstly, I believe the contract on this flat has to be renewed in December, does that mean I can't leave before then or will it cost me and therefore be pointless?
Click to expand...

Best thing is to dog out your contract and have a read. Other than that just talk to landlord explained what happened and that you can't really afford it on your own and they might let you out early.
Is it in both your names?
Don't forget to phone council tax on midday and tell them you're now on your own to get 25% off. Although if she's named on contract this may or may not affect things, I don't know the details of now that all works. also water if your on fixed rate as it's coated for how many people are living in the house.
 
Last edited:
MadMossy said:
As much as it pains me to say it, but chances are it has been a while. The moment she saw an opportunity everything she has done and said since then has been leading to this. The fact she couldnt even be decent enough to say anything and just up and left like a fart in the wind shows how little she respected you.

Your 2 weeks off should be seen as a chance to move on. Try get away or if thats not possible, go out and look for a new place you can call your own.

Yes it means taking a risk and jumping in the deep end but that is often what is needed.
Click to expand...

+1.

She isn't worth your time if you and your time together mean as little to her as a shallow letter and a disappearance without warning. Don't get hung up on it. Use your time off to have some fun; head off to a new city for a few days and have a break. Entertain yourself, strike up conversations in a bar and just get your mind off it.

Anyone who behaves like she has isn't worth destroying yourself over.
 
Glaucus said:
Best thing is to dog out your contract and have a read. Other than that just talk to landlord explained what happened and that you can't really afford it on your own and they might let you out early.
Is it in both your names?
Don't forget to phone council tax on midday and tell them you're now on your own to get 25% off. Although if she's named on contract this may or may not affect things, I don't know the details of now that all works. also water if your on fixed rate as it's coated for how many people are living in the house.
Click to expand...

Both our names on contract. I've already emailed the Landlord and been honest about it. Thanks for the council tax tip, I had no idea about that.

I was really against going back to parents but I'm considering it if only for a month or two so I can save up a deposit. I noway want to go back for more than 6 months.
 
It's not very often that somebody whos ben in a relationship for that long can just up and leave without a care; she must have already cut her ties emotionally and been in that mindstate for quite a while. If that's the case then probably nothing much you can do.

But you know, plenty of fish and all that. Go find a better one :) Believe me, life's too short and ain't nobody got time for that!
 
No matter what you all say he isn't going to move on in two weeks after an eight year relationship. He is going to feel like crap, he is going to want to get revenge at some points, he will do anything to get her back at others...all this he will experience over the coming months whatever you lot tell him.

Number one on his agenda should be getting any joint responsibilities sorted out, getting the contract and rental agreements on their flat sorted, deciding what to do about furnishings and the mundane things in his everyday life such as making sure he goes to work even if he doesn't feel like it, making sure his appearance and lifestyle doesn't suffer, eat properly, bathe regularly and carry on doing all the little things that he probably won't want to do but will occupy his mind nonetheless.

Number two is expanding his social life outside of his relationship, reconnect with family, friends and workmates. Find something new to do that has no connection to his relationship, and don't use alcohol as a bandaid.

Number three is reconciling that the relationship although now finished was not an eight year waste of time, but eight years when he was in a mutual relationship and value that and use that experience positively in his inevitable next relationship and there will be one, probably more than one.

Number four, don't assume he will find answers on the Internet or in advice...they are his feelings, his regrets, his hopes...he will figure this out by himself, in time.
 
Castiel said:
No matter what you all say he isn't going to move on in two weeks after an eight year relationship. He is going to feel like crap, he is going to want to get revenge at some points, he will do anything to get her back at others...all this he will experience over the coming months whatever you lot tell him.

Number one on his agenda should be getting any joint responsibilities sorted out, getting the contract and rental agreements on their flat sorted, deciding what to do about furnishings and the mundane things in his everyday life such as making sure he goes to work even if he doesn't feel like it, making sure his appearance and lifestyle doesn't suffer, eat properly, bathe regularly and carry on doing all the little things that he probably won't want to do but will occupy his mind nonetheless.

Number two is expanding his social life outside of his relationship, reconnect with family, friends and workmates. Find something new to do that has no connection to his relationship, and don't use alcohol as a bandaid.

Number three is reconciling that the relationship although now finished was not an eight year waste of time, but eight years when he was in a mutual relationship and value that and use that experience positively in his inevitable next relationship and there will be one, probably more than one.

Number four, don't assume he will find answers on the Internet or in advice...they are his feelings, his regrets, his hopes...he will figure this out by himself, in time.
Click to expand...

+1. time is the only healer...
 
If she didn't have the decency to give you a proper explanation then she isn't worth it. Once she made her mind up to go that was it.

Try your very best not to beat yourself up (doesn't sound like your fault anyway) and get out and about as much as you can, staying at home can be the worst.

Try hard to draw a line over this relationship and not dwell on it.
 
Last edited:
dang. think of all that pussy you've missed out on in those 8 years

but don't worry! she'll come back to you within 6 months when she discovers the grass isn't greener

and you'll take her back because you're that kinda guy. the safety net. and she knows this.
 
A little story.

My Mum and Dad seperated when I was around 2 or 3. He moved away, but I saw him every Sunday so that was great, and they stayed on good terms.

About 8 years ago, my Dad met someone else at his work, and a few years later they got married. He sent divorce papers to my Mum without talking to her face to face, and now they don't speak. Three years ago, his new wife decided she didn't 'love him any more'. Of course, then the stories about her being a gold digging ***** come out. Of course my Dad was distraught, feeling he had ruined his relationship with my Mum for nothing.

Shortly after, a colleague at another job, found out that her husband was cheating on her with her best friend. My Dad would talk to her about his experience, and they became close over the last three years. This Friday they're getting married. My Dad is 63, and she is 19 years younger than him.

Take what you want from the story, but the encouraging thing to me is that there's always more poontang around, and perhaps you might luck out and get one that's a lot younger! After all, you're only as old as the woman you feel. :D
 
arknor said:
I'd kick the guys ass
Click to expand...


Not too alpha though, why not:

1) Pound her mum's ass
2) Dump her mum
3) Find a new girlfriend who is younger, slimmer and better looking than ex
4) Remind ex at every opportunity that a) her leaving him was the best thing that ever happened to him and b) her mum is better in bed than she is
5) ??????
6) Profit
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom